- Gender and Relationships
The Waiting Games
So, you’ve given your number out and skipped the Numbers Game (link below) by receiving a call. You have also gone on a few dates and dodged the Dating Game since you have been seeing the same person for months—congrats! Now you find yourself waiting to see where the relationship is (or isn’t) going. Ugh. No one likes to wait around while their significant other decides if a committed relationship is worth it. You are worth it, and there shouldn’t be any guessing games required.
The Waiting Game occurs when you’re romantically interested in someone—and ready to take the relationship to the next level—but your partner is having second thoughts. Obviously, this game is no fun! It doesn’t matter what queue you’re in, i.e. at the doctor’s office, the security line at the airport, or Taco Bell at 1 a.m., delaying what you know you want is extremely frustrating; most especially when it comes to waiting for someone to feel the same way you do.
Of course, there are certain instances you have no control of—for example, waiting impatiently for a stop light to change; however, other situations you can control how the time is passed. You can decide if waiting for someone to feel the same way you do is worth it or not. The most important question is, “Do you value the way you feel about yourself?” If the answer is yes, then why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t support, love, and care about you?
If someone is playing the Waiting Game with you—similar to the Dating and Numbers Game—you’re probably not going to be winning a trophy any time soon.
When you’re waiting around for the person you are exclusively dating (and they’re not overseas in the military or on a foreign business venture), my suggestion: figure out why.
If your partner genuinely cares about you, you know it—you don’t need to second-guess his or her commitment. It’s not like they are taking an exam and need extra time to study! It’s not rocket science. Based on my experience, the older someone gets, the sooner they know the level of commitment (or non-commitment) they will provide in a relationship. Don’t be selfish and wait for your partner to decide what he or she wants, be honest about how you feel to avoid the Waiting Game.
However, here are a few examples of how the game works:
The Waiting Game:
1) Most Disappointing Game: “Are We More Than Just Friends?”
This is a heart-wrenching game of Jenga.
“Are We More Than Just Friends?” is when you feel the relationship is progressing to the next level, but before you know it, the building blocks (aka your love life) come tumbling down. Ouch! It looks like your partner made an unforeseen move and it was not in your favor.
2) Worst Game: “Do You Want To Date Other People?”
This is an unlucky game of Craps.
“Do You Want To Date Other People?” is when you are hoping your partner will say “no” to confirm exclusivity. Before you chance it, know what your odds are before betting double or nothing.
3) Most Frustrating Game: “Do You See Me In Your Future?
This is a lonely game of Life.
“Do You See Me In Your Future?” is when you ask this life-altering question and you get a blank stare back. This is worse than playing the game Life by yourself! This person’s actions are definitely speaking louder than their words. Move on!
4) Most Dangerous Game: “Are We In A Committed Relationship?”
This is a risky (no pun intended) game of RISK.
“Are We In A Committed Relationship?” is when you have waited too long to have the “the talk,” and you realize you’re not on the same monogamous page and now you have to worry about a possible STD…Perfect!
5) Most Devastating Game: “Do You Want To Get Married?”
This is a horrifying game of Last Man Standing.
“Do You Want To Get Married?” is when you’ve been together for a few years, and are wondering if the relationship has a happily-ever-after. Unfortunately, you are left at the imaginary alter alone…Yikes!
Waiting for someone to love you can be tougher than simply letting go. When we wait for someone to love us back, we start making excuses and becoming defensive when others start questioning why we we’re holding on to a relationship that is doomed. Ultimately, it keeps us from finding the right person. Sure, we are all vulnerable, but why do we feel the need to latch onto someone who is not emotionally available? It simply gives us an excuse to remain in our comfort zone. So, the real question is: are you waiting around for this person because you really can’t see your life without them? Or is your fear of commitment causing you to wait?