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First Date Mistakes To Avoid (The Fifth One Will Blow Your Mind)

Updated on November 9, 2019
Karen Whitefield profile image

Karen Whitefield loves to read, write and nap. Find her at true marriage stories [dot com].

1. You Talked About Your Ex On Your First Date

This one is one of the biggest turn offs of all. It's true he wants to know more about you on the first date, but don't hand him a thesis of your love life. He is simply not interested. I may sound a bit controversial here, but first dates are much like job interviews. How you perform will decide your future with the man (of your dreams?). I think one of the reasons women fail at getting call backs from men is because they can't relax. Yes. When you're sitting opposite him, digging a fork into that chicken, you're thinking: what is it that I can do to impress him? What will make him tick? No, girl. Stop right there. What you need to do is enjoy that chicken! Let him figure out what you'd want instead of the other way around.

The first rule of first date: learn to relax.
The first rule of first date: learn to relax. | Source

When you're sitting opposite him, digging a fork into that chicken, you're thinking: what is it that I can do to impress him? What will make him tick? No, girl. Stop right there. What you need to do is enjoy that chicken! Let him figure out what you'd want instead of the other way around.

2. You Were Throwing Attitude At Him (A Lot)

Okay, I get it. You've been told let him chase you and don't go after him etc etc. But I am here to tell you exactly the opposite: don't be difficult. Don't throw tantrums like the Queen of England and expect him to taking it lying down. He will not. A good way to think about the situation is this: would you like it if he did the same thing with you? Of course, not! While, it's true you should not seem like a desperate princess in need of rescue, control the urge to throw attitude assuming men like difficult women. I am just going to leave you with the tried and tested mantra: just be yourself! If he likes you, good. If not, so be it!

Don't throw unnecessary attitude assuming he'd like you.
Don't throw unnecessary attitude assuming he'd like you. | Source

While, it's true you should not seem like a desperate princess in need of rescue, control the urge to throw attitude assuming men like difficult women. I

3. You Asked About His Ex

What's worse than talking about your ex? Asking about his! Talking about past relationships about which the person in question maybe harboring some sour feelings is a sure fire way to not get asked out on a date again. If you are really interested in knowing about his past, be patient and maybe wait for a few dates? Or try and drive your conversation that way in a subtle way. Yes. Being subtle in such matters is the best way to go about it. The last thing you want to do is come across as desperate. So, when in doubt, leave such a conversation out!

If you want him to contact you back, do not bring up his ex.
If you want him to contact you back, do not bring up his ex. | Source

Being subtle in such matters is the best way to go about it. The last thing you want to do is come across as desperate. So, when in doubt, leave such a conversation out!

4. You Asked About His Family In A Rather Rude Fashion

Okay, so, family is important to all of us, and you can be sure that it is also important to this oh so gorgeous man who asked you out on a date. Try to sense if he is a bit too touchy about his family matters. Now, there are two kinds of people: those who are proud of their families and those who treat their family matters with a bit of secrecy. If he loves to talk about his family, you will know in no time. All you need to do is ask a very simple question: "What about your parents?" If his reply seems a bit evasive, you know you need to drop it right now. However, it it feels a bit favorable, go ahead and ask everything from his dog's name to his dad's favorite color.

Don't ask awkward questions about his family if you feel he is not comfortable talking about those things.
Don't ask awkward questions about his family if you feel he is not comfortable talking about those things. | Source

If he loves to talk about his family, you will know in no time. All you need to do is ask a very simple question: "What about your pare

5. You Were Dressed Inappropriately

Okay, now, I know I said he should like you the way you are. But don't forget that first impressions are very important and nothing conveys that more than what you are wearing. If you want to impress him avoid dressing either too casually or too formally. You don't want to show as though you don't care about the date at all and throw on a jeans and a t-shirt. On the other hand, you also don't want to dress up like this means everything to you (read very tiny black mini-dress). The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle where you feel comfortable with your date and also look dapper!

Be sure to dress up right for your date.
Be sure to dress up right for your date. | Source

You don't want to show as though you don't care about the date at all and throw on a jeans and a t-shirt. On the other hand, you also don't want to dress up like this means everything to you (read very tiny black mini-dress). The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle where you feel comfortable with your date and also look dapper!

6. You Brought Him A Gift

You might say: What, I'd never do that! But, people do that. In fact, a close friend in fact took a bottle of wine the guy had casually held on his Tinder account. Reserve a bottle of wine for the time when you two are really together. Until then, all you need to do is get to know them. Taking a gift for him on the first date not only conveys that you are too desperate to please him, it also takes away from the fun of the date because, well you've already punctuated it with the awkwardness that the gift brings.

Don't bring him a gift on the first date. It stinks of desperation.
Don't bring him a gift on the first date. It stinks of desperation. | Source

Taking a gift for him on the first date not only conveys that you are too desperate to please him, it also takes away from the fun of the date because, well you've already punctuated it with the awkwardness that the gift brings.

7. You Parted On An Awkward Note

Everything was going smooth and fine and he was interested in things you had to say and you thought he was the best thing to ever happen to you, but then, when it time to part, something strange happened that erased the amazing experience of the date for you? Well, it is all possible. If you said something weird at the end of the date or he did then there is a chance you both are not going to see each other again. Such is life!

If you both parted on an awkward note, chances are he's not calling you back.
If you both parted on an awkward note, chances are he's not calling you back. | Source

Dating Mistakes

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    • Karen Whitefield profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Whitefield 

      4 months ago from New York

      I hear you, dashingscorpio. The hurry that you mention, is the new age FOMO (fear of missing out), you know. People assume it's a numbers game. Dating is almost treated like a sort of a math puzzle. And it's not.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      5 months ago from Chicago

      Excellent points.

      I would also add: You chose to go out without having established a good rapport. These days people are in a hurry to go on dates with people they absolutely know very little bit about.

      There is no prescreening!

      If you were looking for a job and sent a company your resume. The first thing they would do if they liked it would be to have a HR rep call and do a preliminary phone interview. If you clear that hurdle you would next have a phone interview with hiring manager. The next step would be for you to come in to have a face to face to interview.

      Going on a date with someone you have not had phone conversations with, text exchanges,email exchanges. had some flirtatious banter and shared some laughs with is almost the equivalent of being a salesman making "cold calls".

      Essentially you are meeting up with a complete stranger.

      No wonder so many first dates are awkward or stressful.

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