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Thoughts Of Why Couples Separate Or That Divorce

Updated on April 16, 2012

Thoughts Of Why Couples Separate Or That Divorce

Thoughts of why couples separate or that divorce. When we find Mr or Miss Right we don't expect to end up in a separation or a divorce. We expect to live with that person forever and always. You never think that person will be gone. It is heart breaking and we have almost all been there at one point in our life. Have we ever thought why our ex is not with us anymore?

Maybe we got to comfortable in our relationship. Did we take the other for granted? We don't like to think it's our fault. Maybe it was or maybe it wasn't. A relationship needs work, like flowers need sunshine. If we don't work at our relationship then the weeds start to grow. Kinda like tending a garden. You have to pull the weeds out of your garden.In order to see the vegetables growing. We need to still complement each other, like we did when we were dating. Have date nights , its lots of fun and can be quite pleasurable. Girls love flowers and chocolates. If she says she doesn't need flowers, shes only being nice to you. Surprise her, She will love you for it

. Now women this is for you. Men love it when they get a little note from you. It could be simple as ' Meet me for dinner' It works, try it sometimes. Or dress sexy for bed. Even if it is taken off by him. That's what you want him to do. Fix your hair a little different, this always catches there eye. If you are contemplating divorce try to work things out first. Try to remember what brought you to this decision. Try to remember how happy you were in the beginning. Are you miserable?

If the feeling is mutual then maybe it can't be fixed. But before you chunk it all. Try to remember what attracted you to that person in the first place. Think about would you be happier with out them? If the answer is yes. Then maybe this advice isn't for you. If the answer is no? Then maybe your relationship is worth saving. Can you stand to see your ex with another? Statistics show that most people have a new lover in under 3 months. Sometimes faster then that. Have you thought about that? If you haven't maybe you should.

Do you have children? Think about the fact you will hurt your children, in most cases. Now if you fight to kill or argue a lot, this may be for the best. Divorce or separation you may be for the best. If you decide to work it out, then that might be the best thing. Maybe you need to change a little yourself. Always be your self, and don't try to be or act like somebody your not.You can't change your looks to keep someone. It is only temporary if you do. Remember getting back with you ex, or staying in the relationship has to be a 2 way street. If you think you cant survive without them. Then do everything you can to hold to them.

You have to find your own neutral ground to stand on. You have to be comfortable with yourself first. If you decide to leave. Then do it in peace. Don't air your dirty laundry with family or friends. Never say anything bad about the other to your children. This will only back fire against you. If your ex has moved on with their life, then let them go. Absence makes the Heart grow fonder. The old saying is 'If you love someone set them free. If they return to you then their yours to keep.

Good luck to you and yours.

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Rhonda G. Waits

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  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 5 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Hi Cristale and thanks for your comment. You are absolutely right about your comment and I am glad that you are married to a good man now. Thanks fro dropping by and leaving a comment. Comments are most apppreciated.

    Have a nice day.

  • Cristale profile image

    Cristale 5 years ago from Florida

    There are some really bad men out there. My ex lied, cheated, and took my only child. It all depends on the person, and if they want it to work. I am now remarried to a wonderful man...and I am happy now. Because the best thing in life is to love and to be loved in return. Your relationship is only as strong as the weakest person!

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thanks Janell for your comment. You have very strong words, that are very moving. I hope my article helps. I wish you a great life. I hope that Mr. Right finds you one day.

    Thanks and God bless.

    Have a great day.

  • Janell Rhiannon profile image

    Janell Rhiannon 6 years ago from CA, USA

    Sometimes, divorce just sneaks up on you both. You literally wake up and look at each otehr like strangers, probably because neither of you had the courage to call it before it was too late. I donlt miss my ex or my recent ex...just the wishes for I life I wanted to have.

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thanks IdeaMorphist for your comment. Thanks for taking the time to stop by.

  • IdeaMorphist profile image

    IdeaMorphist 6 years ago from Chicagoland

    Definitely some great insights, thanks for sharing them all with us :)

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thank you KoffeeKlatch Gals for your delightful comment. I appreciate your thoughts and comments into my hub. I wish most couples would look before they leap, into a divorce. Thanks for stopping by my hub.

  • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

    Susan Haze 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Rhonda, you have included some wonderful advice. Maybe some of these marriages that do end in divorce would be whole if they had had this to follow.

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thanks Juliette Morgan for your comment. You are right, man kind did start in a garden. Thanks for stopping by my hubs. Have a Great New Year.

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    Juliette Morgan 6 years ago

    How true, after all a garden is where mankind started.

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thanks Edna for your comment. Thanks for reading my hub.

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    Edna Lynard 6 years ago

    Great insight Rhonda you give great advice. Thank you.

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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thank you fireball for your comment. I hope that things get better for you. It is hard at times when we think theres no way out. Or are we making the right decisions. I wish you well. Merry Christmas and many blessings to you.

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    fireball* 6 years ago

    Thank you, it helps me a lot.I feel wonderful knowing I am not alone in my point of view about love and marriage.Thanks again by dropping by to my hubs, and shared to me this very helpful, inspirational hub for me to ponder before making any decision that i might regret it later for the rest of my life.

    Merry Christmas and a very bless New year!

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thank you Gail for your comment. I am glad I helped you. Your comment and compliment means so much to me.

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    Gail Minor 6 years ago

    Thank you for writing this. You have helped me before in life's decisions. You always help me.

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thank you for your comment. I wish you and your spouse a great life, and a happy new year. Thanks so much. I am glad I helped you.

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    anonymous 6 years ago

    Thanks you just saved my marriage.

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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thank you Elizabeth for your comment and thanks for stopping by my hubs.

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    Elizabeth Jernigan 6 years ago

    A wonderful article.

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    Joy Dans 6 years ago

    Thanks for your hub. It is such a blessing to me.

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thank you Kaltar for your comment. Thanks for dropping by my hubs.

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thank you anonymous for your comment.

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    anonymous 6 years ago

    This is beautiful loved it.

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thanks Lyn Adams for your comment. Eric is a great guy. Hes also very handsome. I will continue to write. Writing is my outlet. I am glad you enjoy my articles. Thanks for stopping by my hubs..

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thanks Rajnil for your comment. I agree we sometimes do take people for granted.Thanks for the follow and thanks for stopping by my hubs.

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    Lyn Adams 6 years ago

    What a lovely couple you two are. Hes very handsome. Thanks keep writing I will keep reading.

  • Rajnil profile image

    Rajnil 6 years ago from Ahmedabad, India

    Hey Rhonda, you know your article was such a treat to read that i was lost in thoughts of my ex girlfnd, the way you compared married life with a garden was wonderful. We do take people for granted and sometimes it back fires. LIFE has given you a second chance so GOOD LUCK..great thoughts and lesson learnt. thanks for such a wonderful article. keep writing and I will love to read them...god bless both of you.

    Rajkumar.

  • Rhonda Waits profile image
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    Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

    Thank you everyone for your comments.

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    anonymous 6 years ago

    I agree wonderful article

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    anonymous 6 years ago

    I agree wonderful article

  • LSpel profile image

    Lydia McCarter 6 years ago from The Murder Mitten

    Great insight, and I completely agree. I especially like the bit where you refer to marriage like a flower :)

  • profile image

    anonymous 6 years ago

    Some great advice for everyone

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    Eric Musch 6 years ago

    Beautiful article babe love you

  • dablufox profile image

    dablufox 6 years ago from Australia

    Some very good advice.

  • A.A. Zavala profile image

    Augustine A Zavala 6 years ago from Texas

    Very informative and insightful. Thanks for sharing.

  • DizzyLizzy profile image

    DizzyLizzy 6 years ago from Canada

    Very useful advice, and speaking from the point of view of someone married for the second time, I would say don't repeat the mistakes you made in the first marriage. Learn from them, it will help you grow and move on.

  • Inspired to write profile image

    Dale J Ovenstone 6 years ago from Wales UK

    Good advice to ponder over thanks for sharing, especially the fact that it takes two, thanks again. Dale

  • Rosie2010 profile image

    Rosie Rose 6 years ago from Toronto, Canada

    Hiya my dear friend Rhonda, very useful hub. Some people think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Some just outgrow each other. But there are some marriages worth saving. Relationship is a work in progress. Good hub gf!

    Have a nice day!

    Rosie

  • MysticalWhitewolf profile image

    MysticalWhitewolf 6 years ago from Moses Lake, Washington

    Rhonda,

    You pointed out very good ways to help keep a relationship alive. There are times when one just knows when to walk away. It is due to no one fault other than the two are not meant to be. I was married for 28 yrs. to a man I knew was not in love with me, oh he loved me, but not the way he loved another. Since the divorce he has come to understand what I meant when I told him you are not in-love with me. We are great friends and will always remain so, but I could not stay in a married where I knew I was not the most important woman in his life.

    Your article is wonderful and has very important information for a couple to keep the spark in a relationship. Love is nurtured, it is like a garden if not tended nothing grows.

  • profile image

    yaseen196882 6 years ago

    Coerce Lover

    Neither think in deep nor request for sympathy, people are wise, may be you be first sinful , complain to aristocrat lover, Coerce Lover is always slave of you, true feelings, good hopes for you, that is JaMaLi

    Lover is coerce....

    Neither I getting leave by school,

    Nor I come to meet you,

    Before on Sunday,

    Make an excuse of sickness,

    To meet you,

    Teacher is too strict,

    He forbid me by saying this,

    Have need to call out your dad,

    If I have a fever,

    May god wish for us,

    While making a condone by family,

    There be a lovely fair,

    To meet you on Sunday,

    You all are thinking,

    I am 14 yrs little child,

    But I am 41 yrs coerce lover,

  • prasetio30 profile image

    prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

    I still single right now. But I want my wedding become the first and the last in my life...amen. You talk about fact and I am glad to learn this from you. I hope the best for us. Take care!

    Love and peace,