ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Tips for Christian Guys Getting Back Into the Dating Scene

Updated on March 30, 2019
erinshelby profile image

Erin Shelby is highly experienced in living the single life. She writes about relationships and other topics.

Are you a single Christian guy needing dating advice?

Do you need advice about how to get back into the dating scene? Maybe you've never dated at all, and your lack of experience is making you nervous. Perhaps you've been busy with other goals - things like college and work may have been more important than your social life. Or maybe you've been through a break-up or a divorce, but now you're ready to date again. Take these tips for single Christian guys and have some fun while you try to meet the right girl.

Dating Tips for Guys - Be Honest With Yourself

Before you get started, it's important to be honest with yourself. Living life as a Christian makes an impact on your love life, so it's important to keep this in mind. That alone may drive some people away from you, and that's ok. It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong, or that anything is wrong with you. It just means that those people aren't right for you, and vice versa. You need to remember who you are, so you don't lose yourself in the process.

Being honest with potential dates - no matter how old you are - that you won't live together until you're married is going to change things. It's very common today for people to live together before they're married. Trying to find someone that you have chemistry with, and that you'll have a solid friendship with, isn't easy. People who go to church aren't guaranteed to be good people, either. Finding a Christian companion who loves Jesus but won't judge you for your flaws is no easy task. True love is like a butterfly - it seems to land into people's lives when they're not trying - so it's important to be honest with people about who you are and what you want. Before you start - or re-start - dating, remember how special you are and how much you have to offer a prospective partner.

Dating Tips for Guys - Be Yourself, Be Friends

Time after time, we see men and women on TV and in the movies who have gotten together after becoming friends. It's not just a fake story, because this happens so much in real life. So, if there's someone who catches your eye at school, at work, or at or church, get to know her. Try to become friends. Talk to her, and if there's any opportunity to hang out in a group setting, accept the invitation. It's common to try to rush things into a romantic mode, but you might also find your chance if you take your time and really get to know her.

There's a romantic high when you find someone attractive and start dating, but there can be lots of benefits of building a friendship before you chose to date. A lot of guys have taken a permanent break from dating and pursuing love by becoming part of the Men Going Their Own Way movement. Burned by women, some of these guys have decided that it just isn't worth it to try to find a woman worthy of love. Maybe you know some of these guys. But there are lots of good women out there, and you can find one, if you take your time.

Part of the benefit of becoming friends first is that you can sit back, without getting sexually involved, and watch a woman's character. You can figure out who she is, what drives her, what she wants out of life, and how she conducts herself. You can watch her and see if she's someone worthy of being part of your life and opening your heart up to.

Dating Tips for Guys - Avoid Common Mistakes

When you meet someone you like, do you feel nervous and eager to impress? Whether you're having a long dinner date or a short conversation, you can avoid common pitfalls that can derail a potential friendship or a budding romance:

  • Don't embarrass yourself by trying to act tough. It's attractive to be masculine, but if you try to act tough by putting on a front that doesn't match who you are, you may embarrass yourself.
  • Don't demean her because you're trying to hide your feelings. Being mean to someone you have a crush on is something that elementary school kids do. This is totally different from having a fun banter with someone, which makes them laugh. Fun, two-sided banter can build a friendship. If you are hurting her feelings, or if you're trying to "tease" her but she isn't smiling or laughing, then you need to stop.
  • Don't try to pretend to be what you think she'll like just to impress her. Eventually, she'll find out what your true interests are. Pretending to be loud and outgoing when you're really quiet and introverted will become exhausting. It's one thing to take an interest in what she likes because you want to broaden your horizons, or because you want to show you care by investing your time in something she cares about. There's nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you're not pretending to be something you're not. Don't lie about who you are or what you like.
  • Don't resort to stunts like bragging about how much money you make or how much you spent at the casino over the weekend. This could fail. While you might think it makes you look impressive (it shows how much money you have, right?), it might make you look financially unstable and irresponsible. If you want to impress her with your material possessions, these items will speak for themselves, and you won't need to mention how much they cost.

Dating Tips for Guys - Be Ready for That Special Lady

Guys, even if you haven't met that special lady yet, keep your eyes open. You never know when she might appear. Are you ready for that someone special to enter your life? Do you envision yourself with someone really great, or just ok? Amazing women want amazing men, so prepare yourself for such.

Envision yourself with your ideal lady. How will you introduce yourself to her? If you're at the phase in life where marriage (or a second marriage) might be a possibility, is your career in order? Do you have a stable job? Are you ready to be a dad? Are you respected at your job, or could you take the steps needed to improve your life (job training, working on your resume, etc.). Quality women respect a man who has an awesome work ethic, and who can consistently provide.

How do you feel about yourself? Everyone has flaws; no one is perfect. The key is to love yourself and accept yourself as you are. Don't settle for a girl who doesn't have a plan for her life; look for a woman who is mature, virtuous, and seeking to improve herself throughout her life. Look for a woman who will respect you, and who respects herself. Quality attracts quality, so it will be harder for you to find a quality woman if you do not respect yourself.


Dating Tips for Guys - Ask Her Out

If you're thinking about getting back into dating, it might help to pause and think about how Christian women might be approaching dating. There is advice that persists in some Christian circles you should be aware of. Teachings in churches vary dramatically, but it's still important to be aware of what some ladies are being taught:

  • Some Christian ladies are still being told that they should not ask a man out;
  • Some are being told to not pursue a man;
  • Some are being advised that it's the man that must ask for the date because men are to be the leaders in marriage, and this begins in asking for the date.

Wait, wait, wait, you might be thinking. Really? It's true that both men and women can ask for a date, but the fact is that for these reasons and more, some Christian women just aren't going to do the asking. So, if you feel some chemistry between yourself and a woman, and you're both single, but nothing happens, she may be waiting on you to make move.

Guys, I know dating today is probably much harder than it was in the past. I know it's scary to potentially be rejected by someone you admire, like, or even respect deeply. But I truly believe that there would be so many more dates - and potentially happy couples - if men would feel empowered with the courage to do the asking! So gentlemen, if you're single, she's single, and you think that there's some interest, ask her out! Take the initiative, and go for it!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • erinshelby profile imageAUTHOR

      erinshelby 

      6 weeks ago from United States

      Thanks, Dianna Mendez! Have a great day.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 weeks ago

      What a wonderful article and it is filled with wisdom! I am passing this on to singles I know who could use the advice. God bless you for your sharing.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      8 weeks ago

      "from now on"

      There was no criticism in my comment about this article and there sure was nothing in it to suggest that I did not believe in God.

      My only observation was sometimes people make it difficult on themselves by pursuing those (they) are attracted to but who are NOT (like minded) with the hope of changing that person.

      Matthew 6:33 - “But seek ye first the kingdom of God…”

      Luke 17:21 – “… the kingdom of God is within you.”

      Essentially what I was saying is a person has to look inward and be true to them self when using their mate selection/screening process. Knowing what you want should determine where you shop. erinshelby understood what I was saying.

      It's actually self righteous people like yourself "from now on" that push others away from Christianity and other formal religions.

    • erinshelby profile imageAUTHOR

      erinshelby 

      8 weeks ago from United States

      Hi dashing scorpio, I agree that forcing values on someone else wouldn't make for a happy partnership. I have written about this before... I call it "expecting someone to change." I wouldn't expect that of someone else, and I wouldn't want them to expect me to change, either. Have a good day!

    • tsadjatko profile image

      8 weeks ago from now on

      Despite dashingscorpio’s criticisms which are what I’d expect from an unbeliever, your article is great advice even though you left out what probably is the most important thing to a true Christian seeking Gid’s will above his own - that is prayer.

      https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/seven-prayers...

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      8 weeks ago

      "Being honest with potential dates - no matter how old you are - that you won't live together until you're married is going to change things." If two people {share the same values} it's not a problem.

      Nice guys finish last because they don't pursue (nice) girls!

      "Isn't it ironic...we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us."

      - Ellen Hopkins

      If you're a Christian man or woman it should not be too hard to associate and date (only) other Christians!!!

      The problem is it's human nature not to want to take the easy route. In fact romance novels and Hollywood movies make their money by selling us love stories with "obstacles". They love each other but can't be together because...etc. Overcoming obstacles and challenges, going through breakups and makeups are seen as stepping stones to eventually reaching happily ever after.

      The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship you want, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

      Compatibility trumps compromise.

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

      After saying this one young woman in the audience told me.

      "I need someone who will {challenge me} and {make me grow}.

      So basically she wanted someone who did NOT agree with her. She wanted to fight/argue because natural compatibility bored her.

      If you're a Christian and (choose) to pursue people who are not Christians don't get upset when they refuse to change. There are Christian dating sites and churches with singles groups.

      It's not your job to (sell) someone on your values or vice versa.

      The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.

      As for being "friends" first my theory is if someone wants to be your "friend" its because they don't immediately see (you) as a potential mate. Otherwise they would not risk leaving you on the open market for very long. There is no such thing as being "exclusive friends".

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)