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Top qualities of a good wife. From the viewpoint of husband!
The -always -in-demand qualities of a wife
'Wives are young men’s mistresses, companions for middle age, and old man's nurses.’- Francis bacon
Have you ever thought about the expectations of your husband? I am sure you haven’t. You feel that there is nothing new you can do and think that you are perfect in fulfilling your responsibilities as a dutiful wife.
What do you think your husband expects from you?
- He wants love which I give him in multitude.
- He wants good food which I cook for him.
- He wants physical satisfaction which I fulfill.
- He wants me to share his financial burden which I do.
- He wants me to look after the family which I do with dedication.
‘These are the things my husband expects from me and I never lag behind in fulfilling his wishes. What more should I do?’. You vehemently want to prove that you are a wife your husband yearns for. You are right when you say about the expectations of your husband. But there is something more he wants.
Do you know what qualities your husband seeks from you?
Your womanly characteristic has undergone a sea of change with the newly found financial independence you enjoy now. It has made you confident, courageous, assertive and ready to face any problems that come your way. But it has also made you overlook some qualities man will never cease to seek from his wife.
You say that you are as equal as your husband and you cannot be treated as a subordinate by him. You want equal rights and clash headlong with him in getting those rights. Why should you struggle for your rights when your husband is ready to crown you as the queen of his life? But the crown he has in his heart cannot be had that easily as he wants something in return from you.
What does he want from you?
- He wants your respect, so that his male ego is boosted in contentment.
- He wants appreciation from you so that he feels that he is a worthy husband.
- He wants to be known as the head of the family.
- He wants you to respect his family.
- He wants your support when he is undergoing stress and tension.
- He wants you to give him some breathing space.
Do you fulfill these wishes of your husband? It is indeed sad that these qualities are not given importance by you. It is very true that you do not have the luxury of staying at home to look after the family. You have to rush to work and come back to yet another session of household work which make you fatigued and drained.
But if you want to enjoy a good married life, you must be able to understand your husband from a male perspective.
He wants respect from you.
What sort of respect does he want?
Your husband likes you when you do not back answer him when he is angry, as it fuels his anger. When you are calm in his anger, his fury disappears quickly and he feels sorry for the harsh words he had spoken and also for the annoyance he had showed. He adores you when you do not let him down before relatives and he feels absolutely drawn towards you when you spring to his support when anyone comments negatively about him.
He loves you when you do not barge with forceful dominance into his interaction with his friends or colleagues. When you listen with a smile and add joy to the conversation with a friendly repartee, he feels that you are friendly without being dominant and this is the sort of respect he likes.
Do you appreciate your husband for his meaningful gestures and his caring attention to his duties?
Few words of appreciation can create wonders in the heart of your husband. Does he look after the children while you have some work? ‘Thank you honey, I do not know what I would have done without you’, such simple words has a far reaching capability.
You should not overlook the small, but worthwhile contribution your husband makes for the family. Never let him feel that he does nothing for the family and nag his male ego about it. When he buys you gifts, you should not calculate the cost and think that it is an innocuous present, worthless and useless. It is his remembering you that should melt your heart and you should hug him in happiness. You can literally feel the happiness of your husband when you do so.
Do you nag him?
This is one quality that he cannot tolerate. When he does something wrong, you start nagging him till your voice jars his ears. When you nag it makes him unwilling to listen to you and he shuts his ears and mind when you talk with him as he is sure you will not stop your nagging . Instead if you say something in a soft voice and do not prolong your complaints he feels absolutely enamored by you and vows never to repeat the mistakes again.
Do you appreciate his looks?
He will love it. It makes him feel very manly and masculine. Your look of appreciation does wonders to his male ego and he feels at the top of the world.
Marriage is complicated when you make it complicated. It is always a give and take policy. You give what your husband expects from you and get what you want from him. This is the basics of marriage and when you are able to comprehend it properly you will understand the inner yearnings of your husband which makes you a truly understanding wife.
© 2013 mathira