- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Ways to Make Him Want You
Why is it almost always the girl or the woman pining after the guy? This goes for both real life and movies. Maybe it’s biology, maybe it’s psychology, but either way you can’t deny that there’s an imbalance among the sexes that puts women on one side and men on the other--at least most of the time. And the sad part is, both girls and women fall into the same trap a lot of the times. Don’t worry, it’s nothing new under the sun and you’ll have to admit that you’ve fallen victim to one or more (or all) of these things at some point in your lives. I’ll admit that I have, and I’ll also admit that I wish I had someone to give the advice that I’m about to give. Not that we necessarily adhere to it even if we know it, and most of us don’t (or can’t) appreciate tips like these until we’re older. Either way, seemingly sexist or not, the imbalance still exists, and I have no doubt that we still fall for some of these same traps. So I’ll help you, and all I can add to that is, I hope you take these morsels and apply them. Trust me, you’ll be grateful in the end.
1. Continue Living Your Life
You’re supposed to incorporate him into your existence, not allow him to take it over. If you want to make him want you, don’t just sit there staring at him. Do what you normally do. Show him that if he does end up wanting you back, and snagging you, that you’re not just going to sit there…staring. Don’t assume that girls have fallen out of the trap of ditching their friends, their jobs (it seems almost farfetched, but it’s true), extracurricular activities, or even their family to hang out with a guy. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and he’ll probably grow fonder of you knowing that you’re more than just his girlfriend--that you have more to offer than company. Living your life means that you’ll actually have conversations about something other than how good he looks or what he’s wearing tomorrow. Who wants someone who does nothing but stick behind them like a leech anyway? I wouldn’t.
2. Be Yourself
It’s cool when you have things in common, but don’t fake it. Whether you realize it or not when you’re doing it, if you stay together long enough he’s going to eventually figure it out and you’re just going to look like an idiot. He’s not going to just remember that you lied, but he’s going to know that you’re not even confident in your own interests and opinions to share them with him. If he dumps you because of that, I don’t think you can be mad. If you’re not into sports at all or if you loathe them, don’t pretend you are and end up sitting outside freezing at a football game if you genuinely hate being there. There will come the day when you’re not going to be able to take anymore and that won’t be cool either. Also, don’t pretend to like something you don’t just to get his attention because you’re setting yourself up for failure, a doomed relationship from the beginning because it’s based on a lie. Being fake and being supportive of someone else’s interests are totally different. You shouldn’t have to like everything he likes, but you should both respect one another’s opinions and accept their likes and dislikes even if they’re not your own.
3. Have Some Fun!
A lot of girls and women have this notion that they must sit back and have their guy entertain them. That’s so Stone Age; it also dates almost back to that time period as well. I’ve also noticed that anytime you talk to a girl about what she wants in a guy nearly every one of them will have “a sense of humor” on their list. What about yours? Nobody’s telling you that you have to be an absolute clown, but you don’t have to be a dud either. Don’t just sit there and expect him to make you laugh or go out of his way to please you--reciprocate. This is where the whole wet blanket syndrome comes in as well; it can also fall under the category of getting/having a life. If he’s going out with his friends, don’t start pouting and sit at home waiting for him to check up on you or nag him about tagging along, go out with your friends or do something other than sit there waiting on him to get back. Don’t you have anything else to do than to just sit there like a log? If you’re out together and he’s playing pool, don’t just hop up on a barstool being a spectator--join in. The whole purpose of you wanting to be together is to, well, be together. And if you haven’t made him yours yet, sometimes having him see you have fun is the best way to get him. Just remember that’s the way to keep him as well.
4. Don’t Be A Pushover
Give an inch, most people will take a mile. If he’s treating you like a doormat before you’ve even started going out, don’t think it’s going to get better if you start seeing one another officially. For some guys that like pushing a girl around this quality will more than likely attract them, but trust me, those aren’t the kind of guys you’re going to want anyway. Some guys test the waters to see how far you’ll let them go, same as bosses, friends and family members and if they think they can use you for sex they’ll do that and just leave you alone. This applies for any age in any case. Stand up for yourself, but you don’t have to be a bitch either. But believe it or not, a lot of guys fall for girls that are acting like bitches because they’d rather be with someone who’s not going to take any crap than have someone who’ll take any abuse thrown at them at all. No guy is worth losing self respect over and don’t think only teen girls have to be told this; I’ve seen grown women taking crap from guys they like or guys they’re with and it’s always disconcerting. If you let him, and he wants to, you’ll end up being his lapdog and I don’t think that makes for a really enjoyable union.
5. Share Your Thoughts
This is more than about having things in common, this is about getting to know one another. Relationships aren’t supposed to be one sided, and personally if a guy wasn’t into getting to know me and was so fixated on himself and what he wanted that would be a major turnoff for me. Before you’re together most people try to get to know one another: who wants to be with someone who just looks good anyway? Relationships, real ones, are more than just about the outer packaging, but what’s inside. But hopefully, you already know that.