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- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
What EVERY Woman Wants and 9 Ways to Start Giving It To Her Right Now
What men really want to know....
I recently started a new blog called "WomanSpeak", that I thought to start up as a humorous but truthful educational source for men who are looking to understand women better. We women have our own unique language that shifts and changes and dances, and all of our awesomeness can often confound members of the opposite gender. And seeing as we women love being us, we aren't likely to change any time soon. So it's only fair to share what I know with the guys of the globe, in hopes that some of my information might benefit some relationships. To even just provide long term happiness for only one single couple in all the world, would a great accomplishment.
I was contemplating what sort of blurb that I wanted to post for my readers next, when it dawned on me, that I knew exactly what it was that men most desire to know, and what they really NEED to know in the same token.
And it's so simple, I had to laugh that it wasn't my very first post. What men really want to know, is what in the world women REALLY want. Thankfully, that knowledge is easy for me to give, and now free for anyone to have in my recent post:
How to Give Her What She REALLY Wants...
Now, that blog post gives the WHAT and the WHY, but what it leaves out, is the HOW. I did that for two reasons. The first, is because the human mind is amazing, especially when left to it's own imagination. The second reason, is because I wanted to share the HOW with my favorite writing community - Hubpages (plus this is a great example of how to create a "traffic circuit" between a blog and a hub).
Which is good news for you! Since you're about to be endowed with ten ways that you can fulfill your lady's deepest desires. Don't take this lightly and remember - once you know, you must act.
1. Plan For Forever, Live For Today
Every woman wants to be married, but it has very little to do with the ring, ceremony, insurance discounts or legalities. It has EVERYTHING to do with the level of commitment that she feels she is giving to her relationship, and the reciprocation of receiving that same level of commitment from her man. She feels like she could be at risk of leaving, if she is not weighed down (if only in her mind) by that ring of commitment she wishes to proudly display on a particular finger, and she fears equally that she is only a place holder for her mans love until he does the same. She wants to know that when you wear your golden commitment, you do it not only because you love her, but because it reminds you to be chaste and loyal to her always.
In a woman's mind, marriage means devotion. It means you've both committed to seeing the relationship through thick and thin, safe and dangerous. It means an everlasting supply of love, intimacy, passion, connection and romance. She wants to know that you plan on being with her forever (even if you're not yet married and/or aren't yet ready to be married), but she wants you to love her as if today was your last day on earth and the only thing you can think of doing is loving, touching and appreciating her. She wants you to bare your soul to her, and accept hers in return. She wants to feel like the seductive sorceress who enchanted your heart, and the sexy Queen who always catches your eye, but secretly, for she wants to still be the pure princess in the eyes of others.
How can you give this to her?
- When you must part, kiss her as if it might be your last chance.
- When you meet again, kiss her as if you've only just found your way home after being abandoned on some tropical island in the middle of no where.
- When you are away, make it a regular habit to communicate with her in various ways (calling, texting, emailing, skyping, facebook, etc...), but then on infrequent and spontaneous occasions - be still and wait for her to contact you.
- Make time to have lunch with her everyday, and try to refrain from asking her where she wants to eat. She wants you to make that call, so make sure you choose places that she likes to eat as often as places you want to eat.
- Don't just tell her that you still find her attractive, show her by acting as if you just can't get enough of her. Touch her slyly when out in public, grab her possessively when you find her doing the laundry, be playful and flirty with her no matter whose around.
- Make plans to go on vacations with her, with friends, with family or with the kids if you have some. She wants adventure in her life, so make sure you to explore the world with her, and don't forget to surprise her with spontaneous getaways and impromptu road trips when you can.
- Tell the world how talented, smart and attractive your woman is.
- Tell your woman how sexy, beautiful and amazing she is - at least once per day.
2. Be Semi-Mysterious
This is a tricky one to master, because although every woman wants her man to be completely and totally open, honest and loyal to her, she also wants her man to still have some mystery about him. Though it needs to be positive mystery, which is specific.
Most women are well accustomed to the mystery of not knowing what our man is thinking, why he gets distant from us or why he is so hot and cold emotionally. And while these are interesting mysteries once in a blue moon, they quickly turn into negative energy when a woman is constantly without a concrete answer. You see, a good mystery always has a resolution. A good mystery is always fresh, new and exciting. So you're challenge is to find ways to be mysterious for your woman, in positive ways WITHOUT being dishonest or closed up (emotionally or physically).
To help you with your quest to fulfill your woman's fantasy, I've got some suggestive mysteries you can try on for size:
- On your way home, go to her favorite place for food and order out. Then stop at your local video-mart and buy a romantic-comedy. Then send her a text or email (which ever she would get faster) and tell her you have a "surprise" for her when you get home.
- If you can, sneak home before she gets home from work (or errands, etc..) and cook her a meal (any time of day). Then give her a call or send her a text and tell her that there appears to be this strange man your/her kitchen, who seems to be cooking this delicious meal. It may not be a complicated mystery, but she'll still love it!
- If your woman comes home from work and is upset (or you come home from work and she's upset), sit down and REALLY listen to her and let her vent, but ONLY for ten minutes. Then start looking at your watch, the clock or your phone and tell her you need to go somewhere really quickly and that you'll be right back. When she asks you where you're going, kiss her passionately and tell her it's a surprise. Then go out and get dinner (if it's not already been made at home), buy her some flowers and candy, go get her favorite comfort dessert or find/do something else that you know will brighten her day - and bring it back to her.
- Plan something HUGE for her birthday, and make it something that takes a lot of planning. It could be a trip to somewhere new and fun, or maybe a party at a near by mansion-for-rent where you've invited all of her friends and family to come and share in the wonderfulness that is your woman. Whatever you decide to do for her birthday, make sure it's a large enough endeavor that it takes at least 3 months of planning, so that you can busy yourself with the secretive planning, calls to her mom that you need to take outside where she can't hear and the strange way you've started working more often (to make money to pay for her present). Spread out your actions as much as you can, with plenty of over-drama so that she is compelled to follow her feminine nature to figure out what you're up to, then leave her subtle clues to what you are doing. If it's a trip to vegas, you could buy some new shirts with dice and cards on them. If it's a trip to Hawaii, you could buy some new swimming trunks in the winter or start getting tans - you get the idea. We women are often on the look out for strange behaviors from our men, especially changes in our partners behavior patterns. Just make sure that you don't stop loving her emotionally, physically and spiritually, otherwise she'll think you're cheating on her, and that IS NOT a fun or positive mystery.
3. Rescue Her
A true man always rescues a damsel in distress, and every woman is a damsel in distress in need of rescuing. Now, she may not be locked in some crumbling castle tower being guarded by a hungry fire breathing dragon, but that doesn't mean she doesn't deal with other perils throughout her day. Your woman has battles and challenges and struggles that she deals with every day, just like you do. Though out of all the battles and villains and monsters that she has to defeat, there is one opponent that always seems beat her and one war that always seems to overwhelm her - the opponent is Herself, and the war is being waged over which side of herself will rule her mind.
That's right - your woman is her own worst enemy. It is the side of herself that demands she focus on what's wrong in her life, what's missing and what she lacks. The battle is bloody and although her better side usually wins out, sometimes her inner good and evil go to war for days, months or even years without any peace in sight. It is during these times when she needs you to rescue her most.
Here's some ways you can do it:
- When she is quiet, ask her what she's thinking about.
- If she seems anxiously chatty, find as many ways to kiss her as you can.
- When she seems upset, ask her if she wants to let it all out to vent to you.
- Is you find her furiously furrowing through the household chores, come up behind her and wrap your arms around her in a supporting embrace that says "I love you" in every way.
4. Let Her Rescue YOU
Yes, we are all damsel's in distress, but that doesn't mean we want to feel the weight of weakness all the time. In fact, most of the time, we would much rather feel like the might Warrior Princess who can strike with any broad sword and take out a small army only with her strength equal to that of ten women. We love knowing that we are needed for more than just our feminine qualities, that our strength, persistence and cunning are also necessary in our relationships.
Women especially love knowing that even if they don't feel they can be brave, courageous or heroic in most parts of their lives, that they can at least be those things for their men. Now, this is a hard one, because in order for her to rescue you, it means you must be vulnerable. Thankfully, you can strengthen your relationship AND have some fun while being her dude in distress.
- Send her a text during the day and tell her how crazy it is at work, and how much you wish you could be with her.
- Pretend that your car battery has died and that you need her to bring the jumper cables to help you get the car going.
- Ask for her help in picking out presents for your family and friends birthdays (and for holidays)
- Open up and share your true feelings and emotions with her, tell her about what's been stressing you out the most and then ask her how she would solve the same problems if they were hers.
5. Encourage Her Dark Side
Like playful Puck, you need to become an artisan at flirtation, a master of seduction and creature of creativity. You'll need those cunning features if you're going to open up your woman and get her to show you her dark side. We all have a dark side (men and women included), and our dark sides are not bad or negative, they are simply the aspects of ourselves that we find reasons to keep hidden. They could be social taboos or just things that are only for private moments. Either way, our dark sides are often neglected, and this can cause a huge imbalance inside us that can have an effect on our relationships. It could be that she has seductive thoughts, she wants sexy talks or to try out spicy new bedroom adventures. It could be she wants some playfully-aggressive bantering or a trip to an erotic film festival, or all of the above. Your mission, should you choose to except it - is to use your powers of deduction to figure out how deep her dark side goes, and then to encourage her natural bad girl to come out and play...
6. Be Her Prince Charming
Prince Charming is the eternal symbol of all that is great about men. He's brave, charming, loyal, dedicated, strong, handsome, well-groomed and is a hopelessly romantic. He rides a great white steed and is always there when his maiden needs him. He would risk life and limb to make sure that his woman has all that she needs, and if you want to be her Prince Charming, you're going to need to:
- Flirt with her every chance you get
- Dress attractively and keep up your health
- Even if she's sleeping when you leave for work, kiss her
- Offer her your jacket or your warm embrace when she's cold
- Make her chicken noodle soup and toast when she has a cold
- When you look at her, smile and think about how much you love her
- Rub her aching muscles and tell her how beautiful she is when she has the flu
- Hold open car doors for her whenever she gets into or out of the car (or any vehicle)
- Hold open doors for her whenever you're going into or out of any stores, restaurants or buildings.
- Make sure your vehicle is always maintained (after all, what is a prince without a trusty steed?)
7. Be Her King Oberon
For those who aren't sure, King Oberon is the mighty king of the Seelie Court in the legendary romantic drama known as A Midsummer Night's Dream. The faery king is well known for his temper, libido and magnetism. He's an explosive and unpredictable character who at times is coldly cruel, but never so much so as to become a villain. Then at other times he is majestically merciful, but never enough to be truly likeable to anyone other than his queen (and even she questions herself occasionally). He is a complex character, who has some serious issues and he represents the man who needs to be saved from himself. He's an eternal bad boy-good guy combo, and just one role that she really wants you to play in her fairy tale.
You can be her King Oberon by:
- Being a little possessive of her - Not enough to smother her or make yourself seem domineering (remember, you don't want to be the villain!), but enough so that you can fulfill her need to feel possessed by you (which all women have, even if society teaches us to suppress the need). You can do this by making sure you're close to her when you're out at parties, sending her a query text or call when she's out later then expected and buying her jewelry (an ancient symbol of possession). Don't take it too far, but make sure she knows that you love her enough to think of her as yours.
- Be the King of your Castle - The best kings are the ones who take where it is appropriate to take, give where it is needed most and show mercy where it is merited. They walk around their homes with pride, a watchful and a regal stature. They are picky about what and who is around them, and they rarely deal with any thing that isn't the best or any issues that are not of the utmost importance. They are heavy-handed in their judgements, but they take the time to make wise decisions before doling out consequences and they are more merciful then forceful in most cases. You can be the King of your Castle by making sure you're always properly groomed, fashionable and that you carry yourself well. You'll need to have expectations for your life and be a leader of yourself and your home. Most women make several dozens of decisions throughout their day, when you two are together, she wants you to know what you want and have it all planned out so she can just enjoy the time with you - and just like you enjoy it when she makes herself presentable and attractive for you, she likes to see you do the same for her, even if she doesn't say so. A king doesn't have to be told - a king is already that cool.
- Show her your cards - Seriously, show her your weaknesses and allow yourself to be vulnerable to her by not hiding your emotions or pretending to be someone your not. Women actually prefer a guy with some vices or problems (within reason), over a guy who is practically perfect (how boring!). Not only is life more interesting when there are challenges to overcome, but her basic nurturing instinct drives her to want to be able to "fix" you, even if nothing ever really needed fixing in the first place. Now, don't take this the wrong way and go out and get yourself a gambling, drug or drinking addiction - that never makes for a good happy ending. You'll also want to avoid problems that include infidelity or criminal activity - they tend to kill the mood. No, you want to go for problems that are maintainable and easy for you to keep without causing any true damage to yourself or your relationship. This could be an a hot rod project that you have a habit of working on, or that slight temper that seems to flare up unexpectedly. It could be that you have a thing for buying vintage records or that you talk too much. Maybe you're really a mama's boy or you can't help but flirt (innocently) with everyone (men and women) where ever you go. You get the idea - make it something she can fix, then find something else to challenge her with - Oberon always has a problem.
- Be your own man - I know that we women try so hard to work you into our perfectly molded model men, though truthfully, we love it more when you are bold, extroverted and you do what you please sometimes. So much of a relationship is the "we" and "us" that both partners forget about the "you" and "me" part. Now, I'm not suggesting that you flout your woman to go drinking at a strip club with the guys every night, but I am saying that there are times when you should just do what you want without her permission or without worrying about what she thinks. Do it because it betters who you are, because it feels right and because it strengthens your connection to yourself. Just make sure not to take it to far, clearly you don't want to make any huge life decisions without including her - like buying/selling a house or moving to Bermuda.
8. Be Her Rowdy Rhino
This term may seem strange and new, but really, it's been floating around dive bars for years. It's the name for a man who would be the counterpart of a Cougar - an older woman who prowls her territory for "cubs" (younger men). In some circles the term "cougar" is an unflattering name for someone who is out of her element and trying to revive the past, though thanks to many trendy and tasteful cats, the name has grown to be more affection and playful. The same has happened with the term "Rhino", which was coined to describe older men who stomp around in search of "calf's" (younger women). Like the term cougar, "Rhino" was originally coined as a derogatory joke, playing off the characteristics of the unusually ugly, aggressive and "horny" (pun intended) older males who spent most of their time trying to seduce young women. And just like with "cougar's", the dating scene has taken it's own keen liking to the term "Rhino" and it has taken on a more positive and playful meaning.
For the purposes of this hub, and in order to help you out the most, I want you to focus on the symbolism of the "Rhino". You don't have to be older, your woman doesn't have to be younger than you and you don't have to be covered in heavy plates of armor. No, the idea is that you should always be pursuing your woman, always interested in physical affection and always "ready to go" should she give you the green light. Many women might not tell you this, but when it seems the most like they are rejecting or rebuffing your attempts to woo them, they are actually signalling for you to try harder, pursue further or be more aggressive in your flirtatious endeavors. Think of an actual rhinoceros - they're tough, they're persistent and their horn leads them everywhere. Trust your male intuition and make sure you:
- Stay in good health, watch your weight and eat to keep your libido happy
- Read up on different ways to woo a woman (like you are now) and try them out on her (even if you've been together forever)
- Tell your lucky lady how beautiful she is and how much you want her everyday
- Pretend that the relationship has started over every time you see her or come home from work - It may seem like a lot of work at first, but it will be fun finding all the ways you can seduce her as if it were the first time every time.
- Don't be afraid to be more aggressive with your flirtation - four play is the key to female arousal and many women present tough exterior attitudes that they want you to get past.
- Don't be afraid of a challenge - if she's mad, figure out how to make her happy, if she's sad - make her laugh, if she's happy - flirt and play with her more.
- Work on your self esteem - not only are you already a great guy (I can tell cause you're trying to figure out how to please your woman), but women love a man who is confident in himself and his body.
- Success Coaching - online expert advice by The Strategist - Amanda : Online Coaching Network
Happily Every After is ALWAYS just around the the river bend, when you have help.
9. Seek Support
Remember, there are times in life when we all need help. These tips are just a piece of the passionate and complex puzzle that is your woman, as I only have so much room in a hub and every woman has unique qualities that make these suggestions vary in their effectiveness.
I would love to share with you all the ways in which you can be everything your woman truly wants you to be, and all the ways in which you can fulfill her deepest fantasies. So when you're ready, send me a jingle and we can chat about the ways in which you can begin manifesting the fairy tale fantasy that is perfect for your own happily ever after.