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What Is a Ho Exactly?

Updated on May 17, 2014

Ray J Blasts Kim Kardashian In Song

Slut Shaming

This term is fairly new, and it refers to the act of belittling a sexually adventurous woman. A woman who is honest about having sexual encounters prior to marriage and children is subject to slut shaming. The issue I have with slut shaming is that I'm not entirely sure what a slut is. In today's society of casual dating, there are so many definitions. If you ask a religious person, any sex with a person you are not married to is whorish behavior. If you ask a "modern" person, it is based on a range of factors. Some people believe if you have double-digit partners at any point in life, you are a hobag. Then there is the time frame between partners. I have dated a guy who felt if a girl wasn't inconsolable for at least a year after the relationship ended, she not only never loved him, but was a certified skank.

The Battle of the Sexes

The video above speaks volumes about slut shaming in today's society. A man openly admitting he has been in cahoots with a women known for her ravenous sexual appetite is not concerned about how he looks. He is immune from judgement, and all negativity goes to the woman. Read some of the comments beneath the video. The Ray J Alliance is cheering him on for degrading his ex girlfriend whom he courted for 5 years and had sex with on film. Moments like these in my young college life often confused me on how I should conduct myself. If I have a healthy respect for sex and am passionate, am I a slut? Can I have sex with more than one person in life and still have respect? If so, how many people? Is there a magic number? How long is long enough to wait between relationships? Should I "go all out" during sex, or only do missionary position so the guy I have dated for years on end doesn't get the wrong idea?

Kim Kardashian has been around the block, but since I define ho in my own way, I can't say if she is or isn't. I don't think a woman who is from a well-to-do family and only sleeps with the upper echelons of society is indiscriminate. I also don't think a woman who doesn't announce who she is dating but dates often is a ho. If I were on the market, every guy I met up with would not be in my daughter's life or meet my parents.

Based on the way Kim Kardashian has been portrayed in media, a woman who enjoys sex with non committed partners is a ho. There also seems to be an undertone of a power struggle that bothers the male populace. Let's face it: women control the sex and babies, but men have dangled money, cooperation and that damn coveted ring in the face of the female race for hundreds of years. Now that the economic and social views are changing, the leverage of a man is off. The potential marriage situation is now a take-it-or-leave-it situation in the eyes of many financially stable women. The days of feeling forced to marry someone because you have a child are over for many women. In short, a man cannot destroy a woman with his lack of commitment especially if she has her own money and status. The shift in power dynamics is a blow to the man's fragile ego in my observation.

Stripper Turned Model Wife

After her relationship with Kanye West imploded, Amber Rose carried on with her modeling career, landed a Smirnoff campaign, met and married Wiz Kalifa and they have a son, Sebastian.
After her relationship with Kanye West imploded, Amber Rose carried on with her modeling career, landed a Smirnoff campaign, met and married Wiz Kalifa and they have a son, Sebastian. | Source

Kanye's Ex

Speaking of Kim, Amber Rose is another success story that the male audience was quite vocal about. Florida comedian Duval took to social media saying that Rose would be a thing of the past because Kanye essentially made her who she was. That statement was made over 5 years ago, and she is not only married but doing well in her own rite as a model.

Amber Rose admitted to being an underaged stripper at one point in her life. It seems that wearing a scarlet letter is not only necessary for a woman in the eyes of men, but it is the natural order of things. The price you pay for sexual voyeurism is a life of stigma, dirty looks and not being taken seriously, and any man who loves you will be met with constant warnings that he has made a huge mistake because of a perceive threat based on acts performed during your wild youth.

My Definition of a Ho

Let me preface this by saying a ho can be physically and emotionally slutty. Here is the list:

  • Any woman who uses her charms, be it sex, conversation, good cooking, etc., to divert a taken man's attention from his lover and/or responsibilities
  • Any woman who disregards the greater good of a family (i.e., has no problem approaching a man in front of his children or significant other)
  • Any woman who falls in total love without any courtship
  • Any woman who does not know the paternity of their children
  • Any woman who lacks boundaries based on technicalities (e.g., if you're not married you can't cheat)
  • Any insecure woman who sleeps with taken men because they believe there aren't enough men to go around
  • Any woman who accepts partial relationship with a man with no regard for the woman who is actually entitled to being with him.

I could probably add more, but you get the gist. Opportunists, not strategists, are hoes. Desperate behavior is ho behavior. Taking what you can and only offering your body is ho behavior. Lying to yourself and ultimately others about your true intentions is ho behavior.


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    • RealestMotherDear profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago from Louisiana

      I totally agree. I'm working on it now.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      4 years ago

      That should be interesting! I know when I was growing up most guys were afraid of graduating from high school still being a virgin! LOL!

      Even those who had sex pretended like they had more experience than they did and some virgins also lied about being active.

      Male virginity has never had a high value in our society. In fact the older a woman becomes less value is placed upon her virginity as well! No one is clamoring to hook up with a 35, 45, or 55 year old virgin whether they be male or female. If being a virgin was truly valued it would not have an expiration date. Most valuable things increase in value overtime. :-)

    • RealestMotherDear profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago from Louisiana

      Food for thought. Thanks. I'm writing my next hub about the male virginity

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      4 years ago

      More often than not when someone resorts to calling a person names such as "ho" it's because (they) don't like/approve of them, are angry with them, or have been hurt by them in some way and possibly jealous of the male attention they're getting. Women can be very catty at times.

      I've seen instances where men were cheating with a woman who had no idea the men had a girlfriend or wife. When the man's mate busts him she automatically calls the other woman a "ho" or "bitch"!

      In other instances women have been known to call other women a "ho" based upon how they're dressed. In both these scenarios they know nothing about these women. Before every awards show there is a "red carpet" stroll where women sit around and rate other women's gowns, makeup, and hair. When People Magazine comes across two women wearing the same style dress they'll say; "Who wore it best?"

      You don't see that kind of thing with men nor do you hear of men cutting down other men for being promiscuous.

      For the most part only women are concerned about being called names with regard to sexual behavior. You can call a man a ho, a no good dog, gigolo, hound, "Tomcat" or whatever and most of us will wear that title like it's a badge of honor. It simply means we get laid a lot!

      Essentially it could be stated that a "ho" is a woman who sexually behaves like a man!

      There will never be gender equality with regard to sexual behavior as long as women attack other women or worry about what men think of them. It makes one wonder what it would be like if women didn't put down other women?

      Women are threatened by the "ho" because she gives men "options". Life is a personal journey and everyone should be entitled to live their life on their own terms. It's really none of our business how someone else chooses to live her or his life. One man's opinion! :-)


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