ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Marriage»
  • Happy Marriages

What Make a Happy Marriage Relationship

Updated on July 7, 2017

I am an open book to all who know me personally, they all know that my marriage now is the third and am talking only about the legal marriage. I have had some relationships that unfortunately ended before it could have been legalized if not for some fortuitous events such as death and geographic separations that cannot be resolved due to bureaucracy. I am talking about my British fiance Colin Carroll who died of cancer and my Swedish fiance Bengt Nillsson whose country has a very high requirements for a Filipina like me to penetrate for marriage. I was just unable to meet the government requirements as far as my documents are concerned.

The reason why I mentioned about my relationships here is to show that in a way I am in a position to discuss romantic relationships per experience and studies in humanities combined.

My ex-husbands vary in nationality and culture including educational backgrounds. The first was a Filipino having a poverty-orientation despite his success in business. The second was a Kiwi, a New Zealander engineer whose lifestyle was extravagance. The third which is my present is very diligent and money-wise, neither extravagant nor stingy.

Now I am going to talk about what make a marriage relationship a bliss. It is a given premise that no marriage is perfect because nobody is perfect. We have personal flaws so do your spouses. These flaws vary from physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual and it's worse when your spouse comes from a culture different from your own. When two people marry they carry with them the cumulative experiences that may conflict with the partner in the long run.

Marriage is not a one night stand, it is meant to be long-lasting if not till death do us part but why the separation or divoce that gets rampant these days?

It is human nature to search for those things that make them happy and these things include marriage. For some reasons lots of people stay in their marriage even if they are not happy anymore in the relationship. They still try to save the marriage and would exhaust all their efforts to keep the marriage intact. In my opinion based on my experiences, apparently I don't stay in a marriage when I feel and know for a fact that this relationship just diminish my self-worth in a daily, if not moment by moment basis.

When you are not happy anymore in the relationship ask yourself these questions. What are the special characteristics of my spouse that I can appreciate and thus convince me that they also make me a special person?

Following are suggested mental flows that can make you happy in your marriage relationship:

  1. Look for all the good qualities in your spouse, physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.

  2. Express your appreciation in words.

  3. Hugs and kisses regularly or anytime there is a good reason to do these are another expressions of showing your love.

  4. Forgive his personal flaws remembering that nobody is perfect just like you.

  5. Workout your relationship consistently with the objective to live a happy and blissful life for both of you. Remember that you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving.

If you lost your interest in doing all these then it's time for you to consider letting go of such a relationship, I did.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Jynzly profile image

      Jenny Pugh 9 months ago from Marion, Indiana, USA

      hi dashingscorpio,

      Thanks for the comments and the insights.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 9 months ago

      "What Make a Happy Marriage Relationship?"

      Choosing the "right mate" for oneself!

      The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

      Compatibility trumps compromise!

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      The (choice) is up to us. Choose wisely!

      In my opinion there are 3 main reasons why couples divorce.

      1. They chose the wrong mate. (Lots of incompatibility issues)

      2. Someone committed a "deal breaker" in the eyes of the other.

      3. Over time "fell out of love" or stopped wanting same things.

      Each of has our own "mate selection process" or "must haves list". However people have been known to "change" over time.

      A divorce is nothing more than a public admission that a "mistake" was made by one or both people in the mate selection process. Human beings make mistakes in all areas of life including choosing a spouse! Every ending is a new beginning!