- Gender and Relationships
What Men Should Know Before They Start Online Dating
With online dating becoming more and more popular it is important that you know what you are getting yourself into before you invest your time and even your money into one of the many dating sites. Online dating may seem very straight forward and easy, but there are a lot of things you may not know.
You are outnumbered
Online dating sites have a lot of women on them but there are a lot more men then women. This means that your chances of finding someone on these site is slightly lower if you are a man than a women. The number game is definitely not the Achilles heel of online dating. We will get that later. Let's just put it this way, if you are planning on getting messages from women when you join these sites you are most likely mistaken. The supply of men is a lot more then the supply of women so you are already at a disadvantage.
Women receive hundreds of messages
You are a great guy. You have plenty of things going for you and are what some consider to be a catch. You notice a girl that seems great. She likes what you like and doesn't look half bad. You send her a well thought out and interesting message but you still don't get a response. How frustrating is that? At least when you confront a girl in real life you at least get the option of being let down easy. A brief moment of closure that allows you to get on with your life.
An average women gets about 100 messages from guys every week. That is insane amount of attention without any effort at all. What does this mean? This means that they can pick and choose exactly who they want, when they want, and how they want them. Online dating essentially puts all the power in the hands of the women. Not to say this is entirely bad, but for me personally, I would not enjoy being put in this situation and I am sure many guys would agree.
Now lets reverse this and look at how an average guy fairs on an online dating site. He will have to send personal and tedious messages to many different girls in the feint hope that he will receive a reply. If he does receive a reply, he then has to fight against the other ten guys that this girl is talking to just to be a dating option. Poor fellow....
Some people on these sites purely join just to get attention. That is all fine and good for them, but for the people that are serious about finding someone it is really just a virtual slap in the face. One of my friends that is a girl joined a dating site when she already had a boyfriend just to see how many messages she got and to be gawked at.
Even free sites are not "free"
If you google something like "free online dating" I am sure many sites will come up. The thing is, that even the free sites make you pay if you want to get any use out of the site. Some free sites even make you pay to message someone. When is the last time someone charged you to go up and talk to somebody? Online dating seems more and more like a scam. This is because it is in a lot of ways. They have taken the fundamental need of people to seek companionship and turned it into a way to make a profit. You are essentially spending money to attempt to get a girl to like you and maybe go on a date with her. Do you see a problem with this?
My suggestion if you are really serious about online dating is to join a payed site. These sites are a lot better managed and seem give you a better shot at finding someone. Free sites tend to be full of zombie profiles as well as people that are not even remotely serious about finding someone.
Dating the old fashion way
My solution to this is to just do your social interactions where they were meant to be done; in person. This gives you the chance to really communicate your personality to a women and show her what a great guy you are. Do not be subject to the online dating system that manipulates guys into thinking they have a great chance of finding someone special. I am not saying you can't find someone on an online dating site. I am just saying that it is a lot more difficult.
Do you think online dating is good?
In the comments bellow leave your story with online dating. If you had success or failure. I would love to know your experience with online dating and if you think it is worth it or not.
Thanks for reading