What One Won't Do, A Second Will.

This morning is quite a bit different feeling than the past couple of months. I feel relieved! I feel enlightened, I debated going back to bed knowing I am working later today, but instead I chose to venture out in the cold and get some much needed coffee. The drive-thru was as per usual, insanely backed up to the road. I felt different about it, yeah, saw the positive. Many others feel as I do. A Tim Horton's coffee is worth the agony of waiting... patience.

But, I didn't choose to write about coffee and it's enormous effect it has on my good morning status. I write to reveal the true definition of the old saying, "Wake Up And Smell The Coffee." Apart from it's numerous meanings, I want to focus on the one I have just experienced.

I write, write, and write. I've finally self-published my children's story, and each day, when I make time, I type new entries to add to my existing novel projects. It is with my deepest chagrin to admit that matters of my own heart and not just a wild imagination is the driving force behind my chosen topics and story-lines.

Relationships are definitely one of my biggest failures. And , finally, I woke up and smelled the coffee! Another one bites the dust! I was in a go no-where relationship, I felt it the whole time I dated him. I was certain, intuitively so, that he was not on the level with me. Why I ask, did I stick it out until I had proof? Was he worth it? Was I afraid to be alone? There was a lesson to be learned?

Everything about my failed relationships, time and time again somehow this very morning has revealed a certain message to me. I believe I am meant to go through these trials and tribulations as research for my novels and writings. Why else on earth would a person continue to love and get very little return... I love because it's a feeling I love to experience. I am a giver, and I must say that I am awkward about receiving....perhaps because crumbs are the only thing I am accustomed to receiving.

Anyways, I am remaining positive, There has been a far bigger purpose than anything I could have consciously been aware of behind these tumultuous affairs of the heart . The second cup of coffee order, at the moment when I made the decision to get two instead one an amazing thing occurred... A light switch effect of the brain... Why live with one emptied cup when life gives you choices to always have more. A purpose, there is always!!!