ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Defining What Exactly is True Love?

Updated on February 15, 2013
Defining True Love: Is it the fairy tale we have been to led to believe? And if not what does it actually look like?
Defining True Love: Is it the fairy tale we have been to led to believe? And if not what does it actually look like? | Source

Why do we even care what True Love is?

It is an age-old question to determine do we have true love. Did we meet our Prince or Princess? Do we finally get to stop looking? True love is a challenging concept to define and many have tried to define it before, the writing of songs, poems, and fairytales all in the name of love.

Is true love a fairy tale?

Can true love be defined?

Looking at the four definitions of Love from the Greeks holds some answers:

Agape, this is the word for general affection, being content whilst holding someone in high regard. This is definitely necessary have part of the recipe for true love. It is also broad enough to incorporate other close relationships. This has also been procured to use for the unconditional love of God.

Love is the Beauty of the Soul by Saint Augustine

Eros, this is the passionate element, with sexual desire and physical intimacy. Which in a True Love, happily ever love, this is a requirement. It cannot be the only thing working in the relationship or you will end up resenting everything, yourself, your partner, and yes even sex.

The real lover is one who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling in to your eyes or just staring in to space. Marilyn Monroe

Philla, this is the love you have for friends which is an affection love.

If you judge people you have not time to love them. Mother Theresa

Storge, means affection through familiarity. This is not used often in Greek Literature, however has been used in times such as putting up with a despot because they are familiar.

The following attributes are on display where there is True Love:

- Speaking well of the person you love

This shows respect, and is more effective at “staking your claim” than a flag or tattoo. People hear the way you speak about each other and show a strong relationship.

- Respect

Despite what your true love does, you need to be able to respect them, for what they do and who they are.

- Holding in high regard

This is very similar to respect, however it is placing their reputation up, and never speaking down to them or about them.

- Intimacy

To be alone together privately, by talking together and sharing erotic moments.

- Acknowledge efforts

Be thankful and appreciative of each other’s efforts even if it doesn’t work out the way it was intended.

- Relax together

Do things together, which are relaxing: such as watching movies or reading books.

- Respect each other as individuals

You won’t always like the same things and you both need time to do your own thing, and it is about respecting and trusting each other to enrich each other’s lives and come back later to discuss it.

- Trust

Being mistrusted is a feeling none of us appreciate and it really doesn’t help the relationship. You need to discuss things, which make you feel mistrustful, with your partner.

- Honesty

Open communication, be honest. This doesn’t mean to discuss your day by 5 minute incriminates, although if something happen which the other person would feel concerned about or cares a lot about, share it sooner rather than later.

- Communication

This includes listening, not just talking and being open to problem solving.

- Passion

Closeness, wanting to spend time alone with kisses and cuddles.

- Togetherness

Be united don't take the mickey out of your True Love in front of others and if you don't agree with them discuss it in private.

- Shared goals

Have some things you do separately but goals around family, children and finances help to have shared goals.

The first true love needs to be you and this is why:

Stephen Chbosky - "We accept the love we think we deserve."

This quote is not a popular one a some stages and I would not use this in relation to anyone in really terrible circumstances. Being manipulated and tricked is not a loving action and being in a violent relationship is different. Relationships along with people change, sometimes not for the better.

In general if we don’t love ourselves or we don’t believe we are deserving of love, we settle for situations less than desirable and convince ourselves it is all we are worth. Most people are able to read other people and this will be picked up quickly and you may be about to settle for a life of meeting someone else’s needs which is not love.

If you don’t love yourself. How can you help somebody else love you in a way which is meaningful to you if you can’t?

It would seem all the communication, and getting to know each other seems to go by the wayside.

To be wooed, romanced, down to the breakdown daily tasks all needs to be discussed with the person you wish to create true love with.

The final point, follow this link to find out why True Love is a choice.

5 out of 5 stars from 1 rating of a good definition of true love?


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks Hrymel, I absolutely love that the Greeks took the time to split it, in English speaking countries we love is a word which seems to be Taboo, and most often identified with sex when it is so much more and could revolutionize our lives!

    • hrymel profile image


      5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      I knew about the Greek types of love Agape and Eros, but I had no idea about Philla and Storge. Very insightful, and I learned a lot.

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks Prospectboy! I really believe if we don't know ourselves, how can we expect somebody else to love us in a meaningful way? I kind of like there is a definition for loving a tyrant, because we do love them however, for our own sake we need to set boundaries about their role in our life. Thanks for your comments! :)

    • prospectboy profile image

      Bradrick H. 

      5 years ago from Texas

      Very nice hub. I learned something new reading about the Greek meanings of love. As far as my opinion goes, I definitely agree with a good portion of what you wrote. Especially the ending when you talk about how we need to love ourselves first. I think this is something that a lot of people have gotten away from, which has lead to a lot of people "settling" like you mentioned. I'm a firm believer that everything in our lives should start with us first. Therefore, we should always love ourselves first. Great hub. Voted up!

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks LisaMarie724, I do plan to continue to explore this theme as I feel we define our love and worth on those we give love to. Neglecting investing in ourselves.

    • LisaMarie724 profile image

      Lisa Stover 

      5 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      I agree with you, you need to love yourself first before you will ever find true love. Well written hub, thanks.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)