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Why do most Women Neglect themselves after Marriage?

Updated on April 3, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Marriage is Mostly Cultural

· Why do women neglect themselves after marriage?

The blame is often on married life.

''I am married and have a child and my life is different.''

One of the most popular phrases I have heard from a few married women.

They eat at different times; let themselves go in weight, health and appearance. The little bit of romance once enjoyed is no longer present.

These women don't care for their attention.

At the end of the day, most women arrive home and continue their chores, or second job, and time flies by with no spare time for them.

· Where is their time-out?

Many women work that way, then one day look at their images in the mirror, and realize how much they have changed.

· Is this cultural?

Once she has her man she fails to look good anymore.

· Her husband has let himself go, why should she bother to look any better?

What is good for the goose is good for the gander!

There is no doubt, that having children does change the lifestyles of many married women.

Women should not have to let go to the extent where they forget about their own normal lives.

You may never look like you once did before having kids came along, in shape or size, but in certain ways you should still learn to feel good about yourself.

· Lose the insecurity and look good at all times.

Marriage should not be blamed for what you had to let go off, and had failed to be in control of.

When men tell their wives they will love them no matter what, this makes women feel good and relieved and slowly neglect themselves.

Women feel less attractive when they don't receive compliments, automatically, compliments are forgotten and they lose themselves in the process.

The lack of dressing up is a problem.

Some women are depressed with such stressful lives that they don't see what they really need to feel normal or good again.

Some women handle stress better than others, and would continue to live their healthy lifestyles. After marriage many problems appear and disappear.

Romance dies out slowly, hugs and kisses becomes a thing of the past. It is the little hugs and kisses that disappears quickly, and makes most women feel less appreciated.

· What appears to her can make a woman feel emotionally wrecked?

Once the individual marries, he or she thinks there is no need to look good any more.

Women who let go of themselves easily. It is up to the individual to sleep well, eat right, and be active daily.

Marriage should not be looked at as a bad image to any woman's life.

People go through phases, it all passes by, get back up on your feet immediately. Don't let anyone or anything hold you back from looking good at all times.

If your mother let herself go that should not be you.

I know of two married women born in the same generation as I.

Sadly, they look ten years older than me. In many cases it is cultural to be that way.

From one generation to the next, the women forget about themselves. It is quite different for me to even have a conversation with these women.

We are from different backgrounds and don't have anything in common.

That is what makes us unique in some ways. One may think being in the same generation makes it possible for us to get on with each other.

However, in such cases it is not possible.

The stressful lives these women live by are strange to me. Often they are in a panicky situation when attempting certain tasks. It is difficult to make conversations with such women.

Most husbands don't care of how their wives manage their days or their spare-time.

· Their lives don't exist personally except for when with their husbands and children.

I live a completely different life to that of theirs. I have a least stressful life. I enjoy dancing, meeting people, and going out. My life is fun and most enjoyable.

My time is very important to me, and I always take care of my appearance and keep fit in eating correctly. I avoid indoors as much as I can to stay positive, and to feel good about myself.

My positive thoughts allow me to live and be this strong individual. I have gained the confidence I need through my struggles.

I found myself when I came to Croatia, and will not let go of myself. It is the way I think and feel about myself.

I take pride in my dressing, and with great confidence I feel my best.

Marriage changes everything in an individual's life. That happens if the individual allows such changes to take over their lives.

From what I know, it is not who you marry, and who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Instead, it is all up to the mind of one person and that is you.

No one is going to make your life worthwhile, and happy only you can do that for yourself.

If you let your life fall it will fall badly.

If you put yourself on that pedestal you will always be on top.

When raised in a neglected family with bad childhood memories those years tend to affect your adulthood. You should not hold onto the past, and let that ruin your good self.

The best is to move on and live with a clear and free mind.

The lack of love, and attention can make you feel alone in your world. You should not depend on your husband to make your world the rosy one, do it for yourself.

Once you have gained your happiness in your own married life that would be a good lesson.

Blaming marriage for letting go of yourself is not the answer to your problems.

Women who let go of their lives tend to be lazy in their marriages. If a woman is comfortable in her marriage she let go of herself.

Look at yourselves from the inside and outside, because if you had let go of yourself then you have from both sides.

You feel less motivated and less confident for the littlest of things.

Marriage is challenging only if you make it out to be that way.

You are in that position because you let it get there.

Yourself image should not be taken away from you.

Don't think secret eating is going to solve your issues, this can affect you horribly, psychologically, emotionally and physically.

More communication and more listening are required to avoid hassles in a marriage.

· Why lose weight after a divorce you could have tried that while married?

Look appealing before and after marriage with your own mind.

Being married to your man does not mean you should also lose yourself.

Women can still look good and feel good while married. Weight gain is the number one cause for women losing themselves after marriage.

You know your life is now with another being, but that does not make you dead inside. You are still alive inside, and need to be yourself and avoid thinking, ''Oh my mother let go of herself why should I be any different?''

Times have changed and there is still so much to enjoy, and to look your best in life.

Don't let marriage put you down.

The less-educated women can think differently, and depending on culture it can make a huge difference.

It is sad to know and see those women who have lost their precious years, especially after marriage.

You can avoid an unhealthy life by living the healthy lifestyles daily.

Be positive!

Never feel unloved or less loved, always think you can do it and you are the best.

· Dress smart and think smart.

The choices of clothing also play a huge part of a married woman's life.

The way she projects herself into society explains her character.

Marriages are learning lessons

Marriage Should not Affect your Lifestyle

Have you let yourself go in your Marriage?

See results

Women Should not let go of Themselves

© 2014 Devika Primić


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    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thelma Alberts you are so right most men don't want their wives to look good or are jealous I have seen women do that to themselves like once married they forge how to look good again Thank you for sharing your comment I appreciate you coming by.

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 

      5 years ago from Germany and Philippines

      That´s a good question I asked myself every time I see a friend who physically changed after the marriage. Maybe because the husband don´t like that the wife will still take care of herself beautifully. Jealousy and so on. I asked a friend once and her husband said, "why, she´s already married." She used to be a modern and an up to date woman and now...You can imagine. Thanks for sharing.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Good Morning CharronsChatter I feel sad for those women who gave up after marriage it makes them look down and much older. Thank you for a meaningful comment about women who let themselves go.

    • CharronsChatter profile image

      Karen Robiscoe 

      5 years ago from California

      DDE--what a great and TRUE article! Women are pretty--and should present themselves that way.

      When i am out, and see a sloppy woman in sweatpants and no make-up--well, I just wonder why she gave up. You don't have to dress to the nines to look beautiful--but you do have to have good grooming and upkeep!!

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello lovedoctor926 thank you for comments so kind of you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      MsDora thank you for sharing your valuable thoughts on his important topic

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      DDE, this is really an important topic. I hope the married women will read and take heed. Thank you.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Good tips & suggestions. I agree with Faith.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway thank your kindly for your continuous support on my hubs

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      5 years ago from USA

      The neglect of physical appearance is a common symptom of depression or other health concern. Depression is more common in women than in men.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello tobusiness so well said and true about what was and what is there are many challenges for couples more now than before thank you for sharing your thoughtful comments on Why Do Most Women Neglect Themselves after Marriage.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      5 years ago from New Delhi, India

      This is a valid question and may be many women still neglect themselves after marriage. But I think times have changed to a great extent.

      Today' s women is not only a wife or a mother or a daughter-in-law. Women love to have an identity of their own and work towards it. They want their husbands and children to be proud of them always and thus take measures to maintain their looks, weight, health etc. Moreover they want to live a life, which makes their own self happy, satisfied and fulfilled.

      A nice and insightful hub- enjoyed going through!

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 

      5 years ago from Lincolnshire, U.K

      Devika, there was a time when hubby comes home from work and the little wife had the dinner on the table, the kids washed, powdered and in bed. The man was out earning a living and the woman looked after the home and still manages to look a million dollars when her man comes through the doors. These days, in our current economy we are all having to work to pay the bills.

      I think the modern woman does pretty well, all things considered. There is no such thing as having it all, something have got to give. However, I agree that we must prioritise our health, and good health comes with looking good.

      Yet another thought-provoking and interesting hub. Well done.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Shyron you are lucky not all men are like that helping out in and around the house thank you for the vote up, and more,

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Faith Reaper well mentioned points from you and so true about keeping up the good appearance so the husband does not look the other way. Thank you for the vote up, shared and more always appreciated. You too enjoy the weekend hope you have good weather from your side?

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      kidscrafts the reasons you mentioned are part of it all thank you for comment have a lovely weekend.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      billybuc thank you very much for sharing your continuous support at my hubs

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Ericdierker thank you so kind of you to stop by.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi rainsanmartin so agree with your comment and that is what many women should keep up to a good appearance thank you for sharing your comments here.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      5 years ago from Texas

      Well Diveka, most women when they marry, take on more responsibility than a man will. A woman get tied down with cooking, which most men don't do and after the cooking and eating most men (CAN) go out for fun and get exercise that way and the women are left to clean up after them, and have little time for themselves.

      Thank God my husband is not like that, he does not cook, but he does help with everything else inside, and does most of the outside work.

      Good information in here, voted up +++ and will share.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      5 years ago from southern USA

      Very good hub here and so true, as we do tend to let ourselves go, which is actually a detriment to our marriage. Men are attracted by sight, whereas women are attracted by touch. So, it is very important that we dress nice and keep ourselves looking good for our husbands. It is hard, I know, with children and such, but if one wants for the marriage to last and keep one's husband's eyes from straying elsewhere, this is a good point to be mindful of indeed!

      Up and more and sharing

      Have a great weekend,

      Faith Reaper

    • kidscrafts profile image


      5 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      Good question.... may be because some women think they caught their man and they don't have to keep the apparence? May be for some women it comes after having babies; they are so busy taking care of the children that they don't take care of themselves! There are probably several answers to this one!

      Enjoy your weekend, Devika!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I don't know about the word "most" in the title, but I definitely know many women neglect themselves after marriage. You raise a valid question, one well-worth answering. Well done!

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hmmmm!? I am always suspicious why my wife takes such good care of herself and always looks so good. I would love her no matter what and she knows it so who is she getting all dolled up for? hihihi. Maybe it is so this old slob follows suit. (of course she does work in sales)

    • rainsanmartin profile image

      Rain San Martin 

      5 years ago from Fort Wayne

      There is much truth in this article. Though it's not my favorite part of the morning, I've always kept the habit of getting ready completely, with makeup done, hair fixed, and dressed at the first of each day, so that I will be ready for anything. Yes it takes discipline to stay in shape and put ourselves together, but the effort is continually rewarding.


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