- Gender and Relationships»
Why You Need To Meet The Family
Meeting the family of your Intended, not just Mommy
and Daddy, but the whole genetic interplay, is better
than gazing into a crystal ball.
Looking at them, you can see 'the future'.
You can see where s/he will be in twenty/thirty years.
Not just physically, but emotionally, intellectually;
what s/he will become is portrayed by parents and other relatives.
If you don't like what you see, get out now.
He might have the body of an Adonis, now.
His parents are fat and lazy.
Don't think that after you marry him he'll keep going to the gym.
Think of it like this; when you graduate
High School, everything that was so
important to you when you were in class is now meaningless.
You don't need to sit a certain way, or walk a certain way, or remember that on Friday you have to bring.......or that if you talk to Bernice you can't talk to Michelle.
So too may be his current concern about his or her appearance.
Many people put themselves on the 'dating' market by becoming their most beautiful
version. That fashion model may, once the ring is on her finger, dive into those cakes and pies she had denied herself.
That hunk may feel that having married he no longer
needs to keep toned, and turn into a couch potato.
It may start slowly. Cutting down gym visits, putting on a few pounds, but soon enough, if your beloved comes from a fat family.....
That Size Zero may soon be squeezing into Size Six..
BTW; let me emphasise; make sure you see her family, not just her mother; for your beloved may take after her father's side of hippopotami.
How a man deals with his mother is often a
signal of how he will deal with his wife.
The Man who respects women is prized.
However, the man who can be labeled
a 'Momma's Boy' is in a different category.
He will always put his mother above you. He will always take her side.
If she rings him up at 2 am, he will leave YOU 'home alone' to see about her.
Often his mother will see you as a 'threat' and to prove
that she comes first will pull a number of stunts.
There is no reason to put your life and mental health
Never marry a Momma's Boy unless his mother likes you better than she likes him.
Man; look at the females of your prospective bride
If your prospective Mother-in-Law is divorced or has had a rough time with men, you can bet that your wife will ALWAYS put her female relatives first.
She will ALWAYS treat the visits of her mother or sisters or Aunts or Grandmother as Royal, and you can go sleep with the dog.
Women who are brought up by women who see men as 'the enemy' can easily marry you and play the wife, but will never really trust you or bond with you, and always expect you to deceive them, use them, dump them, so become fairly mercenary.
You will never come first. You will always come after her family.
Ladies; Watch His Father
How does his father treat his mother?
Does he defer to her?
Treat her as a slave?
Does he abuse her?
Listen to his words, watch her responses.
Is he sitting in the living room ordering she bring him a beer and is she racing to obey?
Does he say things like, "Honey, you're too stupid to understand this."
Does his father 'appraise' you as if you're on sale? Is he caustic? Insulting?
Whatever you see is what you are likely to get. Keep your eyes and ears open, and your radar on maximum.
Hearing the father say, (in a carefully controlled voice) "Didn't I tell you...." suggests that as soon as you leave he'll beat the crap out of his wife.
You can expect the same thing from your darling gentle fiancé in twenty years.
Are these physically active people or couch potatos? Are they close knit or just happen to share some DNA? Is everything done as a group or does everyone do their own thing? Are they important to each other?
Entering active families means you better be active. If they can sit in front of a T.V. for hours stuffing their faces, this is what you will find in your living room in twenty years.
If they are deep into each other, this means that either they accept you and make you part of their network or you will always be an outsider. If they can forget about Uncle Harold because he voted Democrat or cut off cousin Debbie because she married outside of the religion, the person you are about to marry has the ability to cut you off too.
Who Judges Whom
Although we are imbued with the sense that we are brought before our intended's family as a puppy being adopted from a kennel, it ought really work the other way.
It should not be, 'are they going to welcome me into their home', but ' Do I want to join that home?'
Too often, so nervous, trying to make a good impression, we come before our intended's family and miss all the evidence that these are the last people in the world we want to know.
When you are taken to meet your Intended's family you can babble about;
"I hope they like me..."
but in let your mind be as analytical as Sherlock Holmes.
Think; "Do I like them? Do I want them part of my life?"
Remember; seeing your intended's family is looking at your future.