- Gender and Relationships»
Women and Sex After Marriage
Women and Sex After Marriage
You meet the man of your dreams, you can’t get enough of each other.
Life is bliss, you marry, have children. The careers change or grow. Years later the kids leave home, you’re grandparents.
During the years, you had a hysterectomy. Now you’re older, hormonally challenged, over weight and libido is just not what it use to be.
The hubby is still going strong, or maybe his desire has increased. He’s thinking an empty house - several sexual events a day seems just right.
But you, now middle aged, been married 20 or so years, you’re thinking - once or so a week is more than enough.
Fussing increases, love and sex are two totally separate issues, but when one’s sexual needs are not being met he thinks it’s “him.” He thinks maybe you don’t love him any more. He questions your love, you question his needs.
You still love each other deeply, but the desire is just gone. Do you try hormones, with their health risks? Natural herbs?
So weight seems to be an issue. Diet after diet leaves you fatter than before. Alcohol eases the stress, but seems to decrease the libido even more. And the weight gain increases.
Some suggestions that may help, take those natural herbs. This can include black cohosh, ginseng, gingko, licorice root, and/or a specially designed combination for women with low libido. It’s worth a try.
Next, start a healthy eating pattern. No fad diet. No lose weight quick scheme. Add walking to the plan. Walk 4-5 times a week for at least 30 minutes. Try to walk at fast speed. Don’t go so fast you can’t keep it up, but fast enough to get your heart pumping.
My guess is that over the years, you and hubby have little in common as far as hobbies go. Find something you both enjoy and do it together. Follow a sports team, watch a new TV series together, get out and walk together, find some music or art. What ever it is, find it and do it.
Plan a date night. Enjoy some romance, maybe a candle lit dinner. It doesn’t have to be expensive, you can even do this at home. After all, the house is empty now.
Talk about each other’s needs. Acknowledge that time has changed some things, but also time has strengthened things too. Agree on setting goals that suit both your needs.
Maybe now would be a good time to introduce some “toys” into the bedroom. Agree to surprise each other with something once in a while. Don’t be pushy, you both must feel comfortable with any new things, and strive to please each other.
There are plenty of relationship therapist out there, tons of self help books, and forums. Just don’t let your marriage suffer or end. Time changes our bodies, but we shouldn’t give up. Work together, find a way that makes you both feel loved and satisfied. Most of all, be able to talk open and honestly with each other.
Please feel free to share your experiences, tips or suggestions in the comments.
*As with any diet or exercise plan, speak to your doctor first. Tell the doctor of your intentions to take herbal therapies and ensure they won’t interfere or interact with your prescription medicines.