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Break up advice for men

Updated on August 20, 2013

“She left me…Yes…left me and here I am alone…Again…”
I can hear those break up thoughts even now swirling in my mind, although many years have passed. The pain has vanished, the wound has been healed, I have a beautiful life now and everything is in the past. I wrote this break up advice article mainly for those whose heart is still spiked by her scorching words: “…You know…Let’s be just friends for a while. I even think we should separate”.

Do not panic

What can I tell you? Here is some piece of break up advice for men that saved me during these frantic days, weeks or even moths.

First, do not panic. It’s not the end of the world. Sometimes girls need that – to be alone, to think about your relationship, to assess the seriousness of your intentions and to listen to their heart. Just try to stay as calm as possible and don’t wine in her face, it’s foolish. Accept coldheartedly her suggestion. Anyway, they always feel better; they are more intuitive and even more practical. If she really loves you and is serious about you, this temporary drawback is necessary and in a while might turn into a sweet comeback of your loved one.

She does't love you

 However, it maybe the other thing around. It could be that she really….does not love you and is not attracted to you anymore.
There might be many reasons for that: your clothes and the way you dress annoys her, she hates your smell or breath (Ouch! Maybe you don’t brush your teeth regularly), she is irritated and hates the way you look, walk, talk, listen, drive, sing (if you can, of course), cook and talk over the phone. She is irritated by your manners which were never even noticed by your closest friends. The moments, when you were intimately chattering sweet nonsense about everything and she loved just about everything in you are gone, and now even your sneeze makes her teeth grind (well, at least figuratively speaking). This condition could be characteristic of the last relationship straw, still the break up may happen much earlier – it just depends upon the girl.
If she likes to tease and play with you, even being aware, that nothing is going to work out – then my advice is to stop everything as soon as possible. If it’s obvious – then downright and frank conversation with her would save you both the trouble and time. Sometimes a girl does not know what she wants – in this case you will have to dig it up somehow. Anyway, you would still need to sort everything out, and if she feels like drifting away from you and you suspect that – try to talk. It’s the same with the bad tooth ache – if you need to pull it out – better hurry, while the pain is still bearable.

Hold on

 Well, if everything is sorted out and she waves you goodbye – hold on buddy. You are going to face some tough days and if you think that you are strong – thing again. It’s not the physical pain you will be dealing with; it’s the inside, the psychological void after the separation. It will seem that the whole world does not understand you, and doesn’t even care. You are left alone with your thoughts about the glorious past and the poised millstone size rejection feeling on your head is getting heavier every minute. That’s what I felt.


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The good news:

1. You are not the first, neither the last that went through this experience. Everyone has been left or abandoned by a sweetheart in some way and most of us have wounds in our souls. You have to realize that life is not all roses and every human being hurts.

2. This one is very important. It would be better if you had some real friends, not just some opportunists, but the ones, who could stay with you in some lousy restaurant and hear your heart breaking story without any artificial sympathy. Friends or friend that would just listen to you and take part of that burden upon themselves. That’s what you need – TO TALK IT OUT. Yes, talk about it, the places you have been, your plans together (if any), your strolls in the park, etc. Talk it out and let your friends comfort you. Let them speak about your relationship, just hear everything what they want to say – maybe they will speak about their suspicions of the future break up, they might even tell you that she is no match to you. Well, just speak it out. It may take 1 day, 2 days, it depends upon a person. By all means, try to stay alone as little as possible.

3. Advice no. 3 is almost the same as the second except it always comes after the first – you need to talk with your friend(s) about everything, but her. Try to forget her. Some weekly holiday trips or excursions with your friends could do a world of good, if it’s not possible – some hanging out will do.

4. Activity. You know how drug addicts are being rehabilitated? They work every day and have their daily schedule filled up with different activities. This way they do not have time to contemplate about drugs and how they felt back then. Find some additional job, try to write some articles (Hubpages, for instance), read a book that interests you, try to accomplish some project at your work, which is lagging behind, do some fishing with your friends, especially if it’s summer.

5. Please, do not try to find some other girlfriend to date with. Be honest – in most cases men do this just to attract attention of their ex. Are you willing to ruin the life of another girl just for an attempt to get back the one who dumped you? I don’t deny – you could fell in love with another girl, and if it happened – congratulations, you are delivered from your burden. Until then – follow the steps and you won’t even notice when it’s gone.

And remember this last, but not least break up advice for you - the best medicine is time. I recommend reading some heart touching quotes on website - you may find one or two thoughts regarding your broken heart or unanswered love.


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      6 years ago

      All good advice it seems to me. One of the most difficult things for anyone during the aftermath of a breakup is getting to that precious point when you can laugh at yourself a little, swallow your pride and accept your new freedom as a gift and get back out there in the stream of life.


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