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I found the love of my life, who is now my beautiful wife, in another country

Updated on October 28, 2014
My wife when I met her
My wife when I met her | Source

Love has no boundaries in regards to race, religion or country of origin.

Most men and women get married in their lifetime and for some it comes unexpectedly and not who you imagined it would be. This is my personal story of how I met a women that I fell in love with instantly and happened while I was on vacation in the Dominican Republic in 2002. It is much easier to adapt with a person of similar culture and race but if you love someone, everything goes out the window and you work together to overcome any obstacles. I will now start describing how we met and the obstacles we overcame and are still very much in love after 10 years of marriage and 4 children later.


How my wife and I met

I was a single bachelor in my mid 20's and wasn't looking for anything serious at that time in my life. I loved to travel to other countries and had a lot of online friends from various countries. I decided to travel in 2002 for a trip to the Dominican Republic and never being there before I asked on a message board or two, typical tourist questions. What are the best beaches to go to, sites/places that I should see, where the best architecture was because I am interested in historical places like castles and cathedrals, etc? I had a few replies and a couple local Dominicans told me where to go to and places to see that most tourists overlooked. One of those people was someone named Yesenia. After a couple of emails about things to see and do she finally offered to show me around on her day off when I got there and gave me her phone number in case I was interested and to call her when I got there if I needed help. Now we don't know what each other looked like, our interests, or anything like that. After a couple emails all we knew were eachother's age and occupations. She was a smart cookie being an accountant, educated, was bilingual in English and shared an apartment with another woman. A day or two before my flight I called and said," I'll take you up on your offer" and we agreed on a mutual meeting location.

I landed in the Dominican Republic and got settled in my hotel and was tired. I was going to call her and cancel but decided not too. That was the best decision of my life. She showed up and I didn't believe in love at first sight. I believed in lust and you grew to love someone. I had seen many beautiful women and had dated some stunning women but when I saw her, my mind blanked out. I know Spanish but I couldn't get my bearings. Her smile and eyes had that special something. She showed me around various places and I felt so comfortable like I had known her forever and her personality was so positive and bubbly. Plus she was pretty as well. I asked her to go out dancing because I wanted to practice Merengue and Salsa. She agreed, and we had a great time. Then the moment came and she said something to the effect of that she had a great time and if I wanted that she could show me around another day. I agreed without hesitation. She beat me to the punch because I was going to ask her anyway. She had mentioned she had to work the next day and I knew where she worked because she mentioned it. I said I would meet her after her shift. I met her after work and within a few more days I told her I felt about her because I felt the feeling was mutual. It was mutual. The funny thing is that we both are planners and not impulsive. Both of us were not looking for love at that time in our lives but it happened. This is the story of how we met but making it actually happen and overcoming cultural obstacles is the next section.

Practical Marriage Books that are helpful

Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic, and Interfaith Relationships
Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic, and Interfaith Relationships

Great book. The only one I own that I am featuring but a must have. You won't regret it if you are in an interracial relationship or marriage.

 
Making Interfaith Marriage Work
Making Interfaith Marriage Work

Another on my wish list. Though we are both Christians there are differences between various Christian faiths like Protestant based ones and Catholic. If you are married with someone of another religion like Judaism or Buddhism, etc this book is for you.

 

Obstacles that we overcame

We kept in contact with daily emails and phone calls. I decided to check out paperwork to bring her to the US. Normally it only took a few months to sponsor someone on a K1 visa before the Sept 11 attacks. I met her a few months after this horrible occurrence and the INS was now the BCIS and were changing everything around. They were now a branch of Homeland Security and were changing protocol and this caused a huge delay for her to get here. I put paperwork in around June of 2002. In the meantime I had visited her again and she became pregnant. It broke my heart to not be there for the birth of my oldest son. We became a family together in the US in April of 2004, 21 months after filing paperwork. It should have been great that my wife was now here and we had a son together but it wasn't that easy.

Marriage is hard work. I had never planned to get married to a woman of another country and from a different culture. Marrying someone different than you brings some complications in that you wouldn't expect. I never expected to have issues and conflicts with things because I was so worried about bringing my wife and son here that I didn't reflect on things that we might face when actually living together. We had a different cuisine. This may not seem like a big deal but Caribbean food and American food is totally different. It is hard to cook as a family if you don't like something and she doesn't like something. Americans like to use expressions and she was clueless about things we say all the time. Someone asking you what does that mean or why do you American's do this can get on your nerves. We take it for granted because what we say and do is just normal for us, but to others it may seem strange and silly. Likewise another culture's traditions we don't understand.

I knew my wife was Catholic but didn't realize how that would affect us. I am a Christian but not a Catholic. I didn't realize how this would affect us when it came time to baptism of our children and various things the Catholics do that I don't. I hate stereotyping but we all do. I control my emotions much better than my latina wife and she could go from super happy to angry in a moment and start in on me in Spanish. Missing her family takes a toll because if they are from another country it generally costs money for regular air travel. It wasn't too bad when we only had one child but buying 4-5 tickets, twice a year became a bone of contention with the costs involved. We had to compromise and she visits twice a year and we go as a family one time a year. My wife sometimes experiences racist remarks because she has an accent and is not your stereotypical American. She works in customer service and it hurts her when dealing with people saying things like I want to speak to an American, not a Mexican. She isn't even Mexican and they speak differently and have a different culture but that's beside the point. She didn't realize that in America people are still like that. These are just some of the obstacles we have overcome and there are many more but it would take a long time to detail everything. If you love someone you can overcome your differences. We will face more obstacles tomorrow as do all married couples but if you work on them and learn how to compromise, you're over halfway there.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

See results
Building a Marriage That Really Works (40-Minute Bible Studies)
Building a Marriage That Really Works (40-Minute Bible Studies)

I would like to purchase this book. I believe God in a Marriage is essential but to each their own.

 

Would I change anything and concluding thoughts

I love my wife and our children. If there was a time machine I wouldn't go back and change anything. I had dated women that were similar to me but never felt that spark of love and devotion like I do with my wife. Why would I want to give that up? We may have initially had more obstacles to overcome than others but using a quote "this too will pass" Overcoming differences and working together with compromise I believe has made our marriage strong. If you love someone: religion, race, ethnicity and difference in culture doesn't matter. With God in your life, compromising, and telling your significant other you love them everyday with a hug and a kiss, you have laid a great foundation for a loving marriage that grows stronger with time.

Making Marriage Work For Dummies
Making Marriage Work For Dummies

If you need help starting from the basics this book could work for you. Has good reviews.

 

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    • profile image

      Eric678 3 years ago

      Very interesting story..obstacles are part of life..if you strongly love someone, such obstacles does not matter at all. i am happy to know that you are still together.

    • profile image

      AttractThatPerson 3 years ago

      What a lovely story of finding true love! Just goes to show that you never know where you're gonna meet that person that's right for you. It could be somewhere nearby or at times miles away. Sure compromise is often required. But, in the end it's often worth it.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Lovely story.

    • profile image

      mariazmess 4 years ago

      Thanks for the lens, telling your story and for the links to other lenses. I don't feel so alone now!

    • Charlieee LM profile image

      Charlieee LM 4 years ago

      Goodluck!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Best of luck to your family! Dating across borders is true long distance romance. My wife is from Mexico and we've been married 12 years. A lot of patience and respect of cultural differences goes a long way!

    • opatoday profile image

      opatoday 4 years ago

      cool

    • profile image

      oegukeen lm 4 years ago

      I am a European female in a relationship with Korean guy. I started squidoo lenses and a blog trying to show people that cultural differences are nothing when the two people are right for each other.

    • TwistedWiseman profile image

      TwistedWiseman 5 years ago

      Well me and my wife are still waiting for my visa to go trough, until then we are separated :'(

    • Rangoon House profile image

      AJ 5 years ago from Australia

      All the best to you and your family. Love at first sight definitely exists.

    • nyclittleitaly profile image

      nyclittleitaly 5 years ago

      What a nice lens and a great story of you and your wife.

    • Jadelynx-HP profile image

      Tracey Boyer 5 years ago from Michigan

      Very interesting and uplifting, thank you for sharing.

    • kevingomes13 lm profile image

      kevingomes13 lm 5 years ago

      I like your story thank you

    • bluefire1020 profile image

      bluefire1020 5 years ago

      Thanks for sharing this lens, heart warming! Me & my husband are having the same issues, but you're right, with God at center of the relationship, everything will just work out fine. And he always tells me he loves me with a kiss. =) squidlike

    • rainbowbutterfl1 profile image

      rainbowbutterfl1 5 years ago

      " With God in your life, compromising, and telling your significant other you love them everyday with a hug and a kiss, you have laid a great foundation for a loving marriage that grows stronger with time."

      I wholeheartedly agreed. I am happy to read a love story like this and thank you for sharing but unlike you, I wasn't fortunate to have a happy ending in my long distance relationship.

    • canoz profile image

      Heather Bradford 5 years ago from Canada

      I think your last sentence says it all. I agree wholeheartedly. You may like my lens also that tells the story of my husband and I. It's called 'most of all you're my best friend'. I think that sums up our happy marriage. Our international marriage has had it's difficulties with family and distances too but to imagine it any other way is impossible. I can't contemplate a life without him or our children now that it has been. Thank you for sharing.

    • desa999 lm profile image

      desa999 lm 5 years ago

      Thanks for sharing this absorbing story. Nice lens

    • profile image

      jimmyworldstar 5 years ago

      This is a touching story. It sounds like you have cultural problems just like any other couple from other countries or descent. It's good that you two are trying to push that aside for the sake of your love though. And yes immigration and green cards can be a pain. I've had many foreign friends who have been trying to bring their families over for decades.

    • profile image

      ouriloilo 5 years ago

      I have an Australian boyfriend with Chinese lineage. Reading about this makes me thing more about a future relationship with him

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Lovely lens! Thanks for sharing!

    • profile image

      grifith 6 years ago

      Liked. Thank for the great lens

    • profile image

      SusanBlackburn 6 years ago

      What a beautiful love story... thanks for sharing!

    • retro-gamer profile image
      Author

      Howard 6 years ago from Michigan

      @JimDuke: Sorry to hear that. Everyone should be careful of who they get involved with. My relationship has turned out great, thank goodness, after several years of marriage and 3 children together.

    • bkarsono profile image

      bkarsono 6 years ago

      Great story. I also fell in love with my wife instantly when I met her. Then I kind of "drop the ball" a few years later. But recently, I've been madly in love with her again. It's amazing. We've only been married for 20 years (80 more years to go... LOL).

    • JimDuke profile image

      JimDuke 6 years ago

      sweet lens-I'm a single man who just escaped from a love at first sight, nightmare at the end. Be careful what you think love is-make sure you know who that person is before you commit to them legally!

    • darciefrench lm profile image

      darciefrench lm 6 years ago

      LOL!! I'm laughing out loud because I see that my hubby is on this page!! (Total coincidence.. or the same divinity that's at play when it comes to love at first sight?) Too cool- love it, thanks.

    • profile image

      vohraaish 6 years ago

      awww... i love to hear or read about people's love stories..

      marriage is hard work.. but if you really love your partner, you can get through all obstacles..:)

    • davidangel profile image

      davidangel 6 years ago

      Woohoo, first to comment on love at first sight! It's so true, when you find "the one" it's like nothing you've ever thought possible. To all the naysayers, I say... keep looking, you'll know when it happens.