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My Husband is the love of my life.

Updated on December 31, 2013

Long-Lasting Love Through Sun and Rain.

"Famous actor seeks divorce !"................."Famous actress seeking $20,000,000 payout and wants to keep the dog."................."Mr and Mrs everybody splitting - up. Battle over custody of the cat and the lawnmower. !!!""

O K These are not real headlines but don't we see this TYPE of headline once too often these days. ?

Forget the newspapers, magazines, and t.v. reports. Just look around your own neighbourhood or sometimes sadly your own family. "Till death us do part" does not have the meaning it once had. The reasons are many and varied. People getting married in the 21st century are living in a seriously different world from the one people were married into 50 years ago. It's not unusual for someone to marry, divorce, remarry and sometimes divorce again..

It was heartbreaking for us as parents to watch our son's marriage unfold and fall to pieces. Three children involved, our beautiful grandchildren. So much pain. Only a few years later we watched our daughter go through the same process. Thankfully there were no children involved this time, but she still carried the pain of 2 miscarriage of very much wanted babies.................I wondered what I'd done wrong for both of my children to feel he need to divorce. (Is it a 'mum' thing?, I was so convinced it must have been my fault somewhere along the line of their upbringing)..

I know that my husband and I are not perfect or anywhere close to being perfect, although we tried hard to work through many of the problems that cause divorce with lots of people., Thankfully we won . I can only think that a major factor in our togetherness after 40 years is that we are both very tolerant of each-others shortcomings and we laugh a lot. If we didn't laugh in the crazy world that is modern life, I think we'd cry.. Laughing is better. It's good for your health.

Recently we were laughing at a memory from many, many years ago. we'd taken a trip to Paris, France. Just recalling the events made me feel as young as I was at the time, though a little too much vin rouge ordinaire means we could do with going again for one particular sightseeing trip. We'd been having a nightcap at the hotel bar when most people had left. We recognised one man as an actor from a British t.v. series. He had a few friends with him and as we were the only Brits around he asked us to join him. Nothing wrong with a few bottles of wine between fellow countrymen and talking late into the night ....except...........when you are booked onto a coach leaving the hotel at 9. 0 a m and I'm looking at the clock at 4 0 a m trying to persuade my husband that we should cancel the day-trip,.. or go to bed, like, NOW.

Oh boy !!! It was July, there was a heatwave in the area and my wonderful fun-loving, loopy husband insists we'll be fine. Ouch !Heatwaves in cities and a coach full of tourists don't go well with hangovers.. Try not to be sick, dear, oh! my head. The destination was a few miles outside Paris, The palace at Versailles.. It was beautiful but I couldn't really appreciate the splendours when all I really wanted to do was drink lots of water and go to bed. So , all these years later we're thinking of the bits we can remember. , The incredible Hall of mirrors. A must see if you ever are in Europe and we laugh at ourselves.

When times have not been such fun or no fun at all, downright horrendous, my husband has been my rock. He's stuck with me through a nervous breakdown, worked long hours when I took care of his bedridden mother and our 2 children .Not to mention financial ups and downs. Millions of families go through these type of problems every day. Many marriages feel the strain. We did too., but we were blessed with the kind of love that drew us together when times were tough. If you can do that, it is so, so worth it.

When I see an 18 year-old girl now, I always think she looks incredibly young to even be thinking of marriage, but that's partly because I'm so much older (all the policemen look like young boys to me too, my dad said that was a sign of old-age creeping up on you)

Only yesterday I found a torn, really old piece of paper forgotten at the back of a draw. The date on it showed that I was 18 when I'd written it.....It read......

If I can sit and grow old with you, ignoring the human rat race,

then I have found the love of my life.

I won't bore you with the following 3 sloppy verses but I'm sure you get the picture. I have a fridge magnet that says "grow old with me, the best is yet to come"

Not too sure about "best yet to come, since we are now like creaking doors every time we stand up. Getting out of bed is like climbing a mountain.. My wonderful husband does all the cooking, partly because he enjoys it but mainly to save me pain in my arthritic hands.

A young man shouted, swore and argued with my husband outside our front door------ all over a parking space.. We thought if we go in and close our door it will be forgotten. It was so trivial.But within minutes the young man had climbed over 3 walls to get to the back of our apartment, the patio doors were open, he was IN.

3 or 4 inches taller than my husband and waving a hammer over his head. The thug obviously thought he could overpower an 'old man' in his 60s. He hadn't bargained on the spirit and guts that are still inside 'my man' whatever his age. The young man was forcibly pushed out through our doors and onto a low wall on our balcony. I was terrified he'd fall the 20 ft drop and my husband would get the fault.

By this time, thankfully, the crazy boys' brother had jumped over the walls to retrieve his brother, asking us please to not press charges as his brother had 'problems'. "Yes, dear I can see he has problems, , the pupils of his eyes are enormous and he's staring straight through me. I may seem ancient to you but I'm a flower child from the 60s I know "stoned" when I see it. !" The brother hauled the nutcase away.

My husband by now was sitting with a brandy taking deep breathes. He's done it again, I thought to myself. After all these years he's physically defended me the way he used to in bars when we were young, if ever someone was paying me too much attention and overpowering me, he'd come flying seemingly out of nowhere in the crowd and give the silly would--be Don Juan the fright of his life. (not good really is it?, but does make me laugh, still)

So how could I not still love this man. Haven't quite worked out why he still loves me. I only hope that more and more young people will think of marriage as something for life.., not temporary till things get a bit sticky or someone else catches their eye. I feel sure they would be so much happier as I am with the Love of My Life. Hobbling into old age together. Well that's what I wanted isn't it according to the 40 year old poem I found.


My husband with a cow lying in the road, in India.......... as they do........
My husband with a cow lying in the road, in India.......... as they do........

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  • profile image

    Khathuka 

    3 years ago

    Thanks so much for your downright page;this is the stuff that keeps me awake trguohh out the day. I've been searching around for this site after asked to visit them from a colleague and was pleased when I was able to find it after searching for some time. Being a avid blogger, I'm cheerful to see others taking initivative and contributing to the community. Just wanted to comment to show my approval for your page as it's very interesting, and many bloggers do not get appreciation they deserve. I am sure I'll be back and will spread the word to my friends.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    3 years ago from Great Britain

    I hope there is a way you can get well, Ahesha.

    Thank you for reading my work.

  • profile image

    Ahesha 

    3 years ago

    Wow, just found this site. I have been suffering with NDPH for aaotpximprely 10 years. Last year I was hospitalized 5 times. To see all these posts makes me sad that so many other people are suffering but gives me some solace knowing I am not alone. I live in NH but went to a headache institute in MI for treatment and it is the only time I have ever met other people like me. I try to keep it in perspective but it is getting harder. I never make plans and take each day as it comes. I work from home or would never be able to function. I wake up to excrutiating head pain several days a week. When I have a respite, I do all the things most people do in a week. Fortunately I have a loving supportive husband but I have told him to go on with his life and do the things he wants to do. This disease has held me back for so long, I don't want it to take away anything from anyone else. I will pray for you all. I try to never give up hope. God bless,Rose

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    7 years ago from Great Britain

    Oh! Dream On., You are so sweet.

    No wonder your wife still loves you. May have lots and lots of happy yars ahead of you together.

    Thank you for all the encouragement you give to me.

  • DREAM ON profile image

    DREAM ON 

    7 years ago

    You are so on point.I just wrote about my wife and how I know I need her so much.How we constantly battle are ups and downs.Reading your words from 40 years ago I was seven at the time.You have reminded me what I also believe to be true.Pull together instead of pulling apart.Help out instead of hindering.Listen instead of bickering.Showing love instead of all the pains that we feel each day.I never stop loving the people who shape my life.That is you Dim who makes me feel nice:,)

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    7 years ago from Great Britain

    What a lovely comment. ¨¨You give me hope......¨¨

    That really is encouraging for me to think l´ve touched someone. ´´The best is yet to come always.

    Take care and thank you again for the feedback

  • profile image

    Mrs H Jones 

    7 years ago

    Very inspiring.. And much needed right now. I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have been married going on 2 yrs. It is indeed hardwork but the fruits of the labor outweigh the hardships more often than not. You give me hope to hold on and see it thru. Marriage is meant to last for as long as the people in it do and I intend on seeing it thru to the end. "The best is yet to come"... How I truly believe those words even I won't know until we get there!

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    7 years ago from Great Britain

    A youth pill ., to give us the energy we once had would be a god start. EH?

    Thank you very much for your comment.

  • Heremia profile image

    Heremia 

    7 years ago from New Zealand

    Getting out of bed is like climbing a mountain - I can so relate to that. Thanks for a great read.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    7 years ago from Great Britain

    Hee hee,!! What a lovely comment. Thank you. x

  • vocalcoach profile image

    Audrey Hunt 

    7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

    Dim - This is so beautiful and a joy to read. No wonder that the two of you are still together. I love it! :)

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    8 years ago from Great Britain

    Hee Hee. Love you Micky. My husband actually found this hub embarrassing. He thought I was a bit óver the top´. But facts are facts and the next drugged up Rasta that comes at us with a hammer, hopefully wil get the same treatment... Take care, God bless all you vets.

  • Micky Dee profile image

    Micky Dee 

    8 years ago

    Hi Dim! I just stopped by to pat your husband on the back! Tell him I think he has to be a grand man! God bless Dim's Man! God bless this couple!

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    8 years ago from Great Britain

    So kind of you. l think we have a kínd of put up with eachothers faults relationship but now and then he smiles and says.ýour hair is still so, so gorgeous.

  • frogdropping profile image

    Andria 

    8 years ago

    Ahhhh I'm so glad I circled around your profile page before I wandered off Dim. What a lovely hub, such a pleasure to read! I'm sure you have oodles of qualities that make your husband go weak at the knees even now. And if that's not the cause ... perhaps age is sneaking up on him just a little!

    A wonderful hub, rated up and awesomed :):)

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    8 years ago from Great Britain

    Thank you RDB for such high praise. Most of the time, I write as I feel, and then panic that it will seem nonsense to someone else. Your feedback and that of other hubbers is a great encouragement.

    We have recently had some problems here, including a fire at our factory. It looks like we'll be living in "GREAT BRITAIN' again within a few months,. Aaaaaaaargh !!!!!

    Twenty years since we lived there. That'll teach to me to write as I feel, Eh? Hee! Hee! You have to laugh.

  • Run Down Battery profile image

    Run Down Battery 

    8 years ago from UK

    So exquisitely written... this touched my heart, and more so, I am envious of the pair of you. The one time my wife called me husband was when I was at death's door in Greece. For me , that was the perfect time to die. Things have moved on since but we will always be, if you understand me. You have a way of cutting to the chase which is a gift, that's why I read you.. Oh by the way, your article about returning to the UK precisely describes how I feel, as I am, washed up on those bleak shores again... We must correspond. I could learn a lot from you... Cheers!!

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    8 years ago from Great Britain

    Hi Justine. Can't believe I didn't post anything to your comment on this hub. Considering yours was 1st. Thank you so much x

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    8 years ago from Great Britain

    oh! Thank you so much, Tantrum.... Cheers

  • tantrum profile image

    tantrum 

    8 years ago from Tropic of Capricorn

    Hey !!what a lovely story !!!congrats to you ! :)

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    8 years ago from Great Britain

    Hello prasetio30, nice to meet you. Thank for your comment

  • prasetio30 profile image

    prasetio30 

    8 years ago from malang-indonesia

    I think he is a good husband for you. Nice to have husband like him. Thanks for share.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    9 years ago from Great Britain

    Thanks for your comment. Glad you also have a happy relationship. It's not always easy these days is it ?

  • Shalini Kagal profile image

    Shalini Kagal 

    9 years ago from India

    It feels so good to read a hub like this, Dim - when so many marriages around me are either falling apart or just hanging together for the sake of it. I think you got it right when you said laughter is necessary - and maybe the protective bit as well. I'm so grateful my husband has both qualities. Sometimes though, with all that, things don't work - I know the nicest people who just can't get on. Karma? Fate? Who knows? It's still sad - and one can only be profoundly grateful for a happy relationship that lasts!

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    9 years ago from Great Britain

    My dad gave the same 'it won't last' speech but eventually shook hands with my husband. I think was after about 20 years and 2 children. hee hee

  • Suki C profile image

    Barbara C 

    9 years ago from Andalucia, Spain

    As a fellow flower-child, with all the fun we had in those days, you've touched a chord with me once again.

    Despite all the free-love etc. of that era, we have been together now for 36 years - seven of those living in sin - shock, horror!!!

    My mother said 'it'll never last' but even she had to admit that she was wrong before she died.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    9 years ago from Great Britain

    Thanks for thinking we'll have such a long life that we've got 20 years left. It will make me 79 and my husband 84.!!! Hope you and I will still be hubbing too. x

  • bayareagreatthing profile image

    bayareagreatthing 

    9 years ago from Bay Area California

    This is so touching! I love how you two love each other. There are no survivors in divorce that come out unscathed. How i wish the rest of the world felt as you do :) God bless you dear friend and your next 20 years!

  • profile image

    Justine76 

    9 years ago

    Loved this. Divorce is truly heartbraking. Im so glad to hear a story of someone who made it!! If you cant laugh, what else do you have?

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