Unsolicited interference

1. 59

   hack writerposted 10 years ago

   Should I just mind my own business and look somewhere else when I see relationships are hurting and things don't get addressed?

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   1. 58

      Dale Hydeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Not sure what you are really asking.  I presume relationships between support and authors?  Have you posted a glitch or a problem that has not been addressed?
      
      There are staff monitored forums for technical issues and such.  Posting in those areas will usually get a response.
      
      I may be entirely off base in my ability to comprehend what you are asking, however.
      
      If you are talking about personal relationships, well, I would give it some time and effort then simply look elsewhere.  It has worked for me in the past.  Hoping on something that will not happen only wastes one's time.

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      1. 59

         hack writerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         I am talking about personal relationships.
         
         In particular the ones in which I just care about a person involved but have no business poking my nose in.
         
         As an example should I keep poking when I see that a coworker has unresolved family issues?
         
         Common sense says no, I should not. I know. But isn't it almost like a bully-bullied-bystander situation? Isn't the bystander part of the problem to a certain degree?
         
         I know I am hurting myself doing so. I am wasting my time and energy and possibly put the relationship with the coworker at risk. But I think it might still be worth it for a chance of improving the issue in question.

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2. 66

   psycheskinnerposted 10 years ago

   If you can actually help, help. But maybe that is by being supportive not trying to "fix" things.

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   1. 59

      hack writerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      So you're saying I should say/feel "I support you. No matter what. Even if I think it is hurting you."
      
      I am not so sure. Because this is maybe what brought the person there in the first place. If everyone just always gives a supportive "I know, boo hoo." how is this helping? Why not try to suggest a new way of approaching the problem.
      
      I am not saying I try to fix things for the other person. I just try to point things out. Even if it is not comfortable to look at what went wrong.
      
      I agree that it is important to make sure the other person knows it comes from a caring heart. Like I should convey " I love you no matter what. I love you, if you keep doing what you have been doing for many years and what has led to this or that problem. And I love you, if you give this a try.... I love you no matter what. My love isn't effected by your actions."
      
      The right way of communicating the right thing is half the battle, I guess.
      I can mean so well but if I don't get my good intentions across I fail in my attempt to help.
      I can have bad intentions and wrap them up in smooth manipulative talking. Not good.
      Or the best approach is I can ask the other person if she/he is ready to hear my tough approach/solution which is based on the good intentions. Then be gentle.
      
      Thank you. I think I see clearer now.

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