Whats the best way to introduce yourself to a man without coming on to hard?
Depends on the situation. If it was at a social gathering, I would ask to be introduced, have a few seconds of pleasant conversation then walk away so you don't appear on the prowl.
Then if you run into him again at this place, you can visit a little more and suggest coffee together or something very general and non-threatening. I wouldn't act overly interested and needy.
Its ok to approach a man directly. Use humour or the first thing that pops into your head... friendliness sincerity and authenticity will always yield a positive response.
have a friend or acquaintance introduce you. If you don't have someone like that available than just say hello and talk about the context you guys are in.
Never talk about the world outside of your current bubble. This bubble includes you and him and the context you guys are in.
If it's a house party then you might ask how do you know so-and-so.
if you're at a bake sale then you might ask; did you taste the apple pie?
Then move on to questions about the person. Slip in some open questions here and there. Like "how do you feel about..." these questions elicit a detailed response.
Always listen actively and on occasion deliver a follow-up question with the answer he just gave.
he said - the Dutch Apple pie was delicious
You say - yea the Dutch Apple pie was pretty good have you tried the New York style cheesecake?
This is meant to make you engaging.
don't monopolize him. Excuse yourself once in a while and then come back to him.
I want to know the answer to this very question...
Tho I would answer it as just be yourself and be subtle!
Ive never introduced myself to a man before, but I use to watch best friend do it all the time, and the men would really be turned off, men are hunters, they like to hunt. I think men see women as desparate when approached, even if your not. Hope you find a good answer
be straight up, most guys aren't used to being approached. maintain eye contact and break. i am a huge advocate for eye contact but i noticed that when women don't break eye contact with me it can almost be a bit unnerving. i like presence but there is a degree of intensity that can be a little much.
note: i am very aware of my intuition so that could play into it for me as well so take it with a grain of salt. besides the best advice is to trust your heart and you can't go wrong.
There is no one best way. It will always depend on the person you want to meet, who you are, and why you want to meet them.
I will proceed by assuming that you are an attractive woman who wants to make a male friend in the USA, which I could also have deduced from your profile. You have already begun the process when you patiently but discreetly observe him. When you have exhausted your opportunity for observation, for pehaps you have been noticed, or run out of time/patience/clearance, you need to make your move. First, however, define your exit strategy. More about this later.
You must then initiate a greeting that invites conversation, something like, "Hi, I'm Jenny Craig. I have been here a few times before and this is the first time I've seen you." There are countless other opening gambits, but any genuine expression of compatibility, commonality or candor is usually appreciated. One of my favorites in the South is, "Do you think it's hot in here?"
Be sure to smile and maintain eye contact during the greeting. In the USA it is considered ok to extend the right hand for "the shake," but this is optional for women.
I believe it is dangerous to remark on personal attire or physical attributes, or to direct the conversation immediately onto other people. It is better to ask for opinions about something else in which the subject is presumably interested. (*Which you no doubt discovered during your previous period of observation.)
According to the best authorities I have read on pick-up technique, you should not attempt to extend the first conversation beyond a few minutes. As soon as you are comfortable doing so, activate your exit strategy. Apologize for needing to leave, admit how much you are enjoying the encounter, and ask for an exchange of phone numbers.
In the worst case scenario, the minutes would fly by and you might find yourself having to turn down an invitation for a nightcap, which could destroy any chance of a long term relationship.
I would look for a visual cue as to what he might be interested in, or talk about what he's doing when you see him, or talk about something else going on in the environment like one time I met a guy by asking him "Do you typically like these kinds of parties?" Asking a question about something he might be doing or interested in is great. The attention is directed away from you at something else, but it shows that you're interested in at least something he likes or is doing. Look for a clue in what he's wearing, lot of guys wear shirts of their favorite bands or teams.
A "hello" would be nice. Also, try to come up to a topic that you both can talk about, with as little confrontation as possible. Too much diversity = "she is too opinionated" But if you agree with him all the time = "she is a total pushover." Everything in moderation, but if he shows no interest whatsoever, don't embarrass yourself by trying harder, just movie on. There are more fish in a sea.
Just say "hi". Men are easy. Hope that helps... I am being serious.
Each man is different! I would like a woman to be direct. Saying "hello" is a great start. A nice smile goes a very long way with me.
I don't like game playing and being on the "hunt." A woman isn't "prey." Nice, simple conversation goes a long way.
I would suspect that quite a many woman has missed out on a great relationship by not being direct. Direct doesn't have to mean pushy. It means approaching someone, making conversation, waiting for a response and then making a determination from your intuition what should happen next.
Start with a "hello," and stir up a light conversation. See how things go from there.
Just say hi, but don't seem forceful. The thing about guys is that, we don't like to be told what to do, in the dating world, we like to be the one calling the shots. So, just let him know you let him, someway and if he like you, he would do something about it
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