Time heals all wounds so they say and I tend to agree. However when it comes to parents I think it works better when we grow up and move away several miles from our parents. When I was 21 I moved 2000 miles away. I didn't go back home for a visit for 8 years. During those years I put some things in perspective. There is no such thing as "perfect parents". Their primary job was to provide food, clothing, and shelter while I got my education prepared for my transition into adulthood. I also realized (I get to control) who I talk with and spend time with. Just because someone is related to you does not give them a free pass to treat you like crap! Being independent also leads to emotional freedom. Susan Forward wrote a book titled "Toxic Parents" http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Ove … 0553381407
I believe that we all hold our parents responsible for our own shortcomings . My anger with my father survived until just before he died of old age , I believe because I chose to stifle my anger , bitterness and blame for a lifetime of alcohol abuse on his part . The emotional rollercoaster , the stress , the drama and untimately ,the emotional detachment that became me ! I chose a couple of years before he died to work through my anger ! Forcing myself through the uncomfortable times ! Good luck !