What do you think of Attachment Parenting?
Does it promote optimal emotional health or an emotionally "unhealthy emotional over-dependency" on the mother?
When I see these topics, two things come to mind:
First, somebody's making a heck of a lot of money from this nonsense;
Second, it's generally nothing more than overcompensating- and sometimes in a negative way.
One important point, which I haven't seen anything about in recent years, is a child's basic personality is "set" by the time a child reaches three years of age.
In a child's earliest years, he/she needs to bond with his/her mother-- and it's not something that can be "taught" or "made up for" at a later date.
I think the current focus on this topic is mainly due to more & more babies and little children being in out-of-home childcare. Not only do most mothers who spend time with their little ones automatically know their needs, none of this (dare I say) modern junk is going to do the kids any good when they do not have their mothers' presence in their earliest years.
It has gone from natural and healthy to unnatural and unhealthy (like "co-sleeping" for example).
I think that attachment parenting hinders children. I have a three almost four years old and I am proud to say that he is pretty independant. If parents are so attached then how will kids get to that stage? No I will not always hold my child they have to learn that they will not always get everything they want, when they want it because of a wimper. No I will not breastfeed if the child can ask for it! I understand the good the milk gives children but if you would like to continue, pump and give the kid a cup.
But I parent they way I feel is right and other can do the same.
simple stupidity but like anything else, people will get into it.
When I first saw Times photograph it reminded me of a friend who swears by Attachment Parenting. She had a 4 year old daughter who breast fed constantly. I couldn't believe those saggy socks she called breasts had anything nourishing in them.
She and I would be having a conversation and all of a sudden this big kid walks up, yanks out a nipple and latches on. My friend never missed a beat in the conversation,either. When the kid was done she went back to bullying the other kids or whatever. My daughter looked at me as if to say, "Oh God, we're not doing this now, are we?"
Mind you, this kid was no longer in diapers and was in pre - school. The child had a number of behavioral issues because she was a bully and demanded so much attention from the teachers, I think its a by-product of Attachment Parenting. I think there is certainly a such thing as over parenting. This kid is a prime example.
If you choose to cripple your child and have him or her living in your basement at 35, you're free to do that, but as far as breast feeding to bond...save that for quiet time at home, that's when mommy and baby...operative word, baby, can bond privately. We don't need to share your private moments at the playground.
I was kind of weirded out one day when my friend shared with me that she would sometimes become sexually aroused by her breast feeding four year old - which told me, there was no end in sight to the breast feeding. Friendship - Deleted.
I really believe that this entire movement is spawned by psychological and emotional needs of the parents and any claimed benefits to the child are all just smoke and mirrors in order to mask what's really going on.
We live in a day and age when broken homes and various forms of abuse have run rampant through out nation for more than one generation now. I think that the lack of a proper relationship between kids and their parents has left people feeling a sense of emptiness. Internally, they know that what they experienced growing up as a child fell well below what might be considered the standard of healthy parenting but they can't really go around complaining about it, so they make the best of it and move on.
It just so happens, however, that when they have kids of their own they begin to look to compensate and attachment parenting seems to be "the thing" which they can cling to in hopes that there will be no repeat of the damage they experienced while growing up in the lives of their own children. It's also possible that this whole thing serves as a type of therapy for the parent; a type of vicarious parenting that tries to fill that emotional gap left between the new mothers and their own parents by riding the Attachment Parenting wave to the fullest.
I think the whole thing is bad in that these parents are shifting the focus from fixing the real issues which caused them to have these painful issues in the first place such as divorce and abuse. The result is that these big problems are not begin address. In fact, our society is being hammed by the media and so-called "progressives" to ditch the idea of the traditional family which has served humanity well for thousands of years and opt instead to allow group of individuals to call themselves a "family" and demand that everyone else affirm the label.
I think it promotes something we already have too much of in this country, which is a bunch of lazy, coddled, pampered prima donnas and adult titty babies who constantly need to be pacified.
Are you mom enough? First of all, something must be working because that is one big Kid. I'd put money on the fact that he's sneaking a happy meal in every once in a while... In fact, I'd bet mom there is really nothing more than a glorified milk shake.
Honestly that 3 year old is 4 and half feet tall!
This Breaks the Norms of our Society and thus, I have a knee jerk reaction to it. The truth is that I am not educated enough to have a really informed decision about it. However, as a father of 4 I can say that it would seem that it would have been unhealthy for my kids. Especially my boys.
It's not Sexual now for this little fellow and it would be ludicrous to suggest that it is... but if you are still milking at mom's breast at 5 and 6... then when it does come time for Sex and Bada-Bing... Bada-Bow... he's confronted with them in an entirely different way, in an entirely different setting... Well, then that could become just a little bit awkward.
The real issue is how people have decided that it is Just Okay to bring this out into the PUBLIC... that no one takes into consideration how there public actions are going to affect those around them.
I know that you have to breast feed and that it is your God given right (if you believe in God that is) and you also have the right to do it right out in front of God and Everyone else... BUT... and this is something that people have forgotten... just because you have the RIGHT doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do.
We used to be discrete... not because we were ashamed or embarrassed but because we were Considerate of others.
For instance, I have the right to Pick my nose and scratch my testicles wherever I choose... but I choose to attend to my basic hygiene needs in Private...
It doesn't hurt me to go to the restroom and blow my nose and adjust my 'self'... and then when I'm finished... I wash my hands and rejoin Society...
Ladies, it wouldn't hurt you to breast feed discretely... we don't mind... most of us... but if the child has to get off his bike and bend down to reach you... maybe it would be best if you found a quiet place... it's not like you can keep typing or even walking for that matter while they are latched on.... especially if the child in question weighs as much as you do.
This is just so really wrong. Just so wrong. This kid is going to have mental problems when he grows up. I'm not a parent but it's my 2 cents.
As an educator working with children with disabilities, I have to say that I find this concept very disturbing. We already have so many children who enter school with emotional and behavioral disorders, and most of this is NOT due to chemical imbalances or any medical diagnosis. In my opinion, Attachment Parenting has the potential to cause serious problems for children, every bit as serious as those problems caused by neglectful or abusive parents. Perhaps this model works in other societies, but it is not prevalent here, and I believe these kids will have a hard time fitting into their preschool and kindergarten classes.
I have an article on it with many very famous celebrities practicing it. If someone does not learn about it, they can get confused by its name. Over 10,000 years ago all people lived in tribes or villages and all children were brought up this way. Within the tribes the children never fought and people never stole. They shared everything.
The idea behind it is that if you give the child what it needs as an infant, then when it is several years old, it will be much more mature than other kids and it can practically raise itself. It will be a very independent child. There is a whole science behind it that needs to be learned for people to understand it. Except children raised this way do not need to learn this science since they have lived it. My article is called Attachment Parenting Creates an Abundance of Self-Esteem. This is why so many have a lack of self-esteem.
Celebrities practicing it (according to photos of them) include Angelina Jolie, Kerri Russel, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Garner, Kate Hudson, Jessica Alba, Beyoncé, the highest paid model in the world, Gisele Bundchen and more. Some are upset that Bundchen said that they should make it a law for mothers to breastfeed. Although every mother did this for many thousands of years up until recently.
Note that picture on the cover had only one purpose-- to sell magazines. That is all.
by Shawn May Scott 9 years ago
We have all heard of attachment parenting and co-sleeping etc. But is it too much to be breast feeding your almost 4 year old son??? In my former profession as an RECE I have met many women who have done this and I have seen the results of this process, not always so positive especially in later...
by G. Diane Nelson Trotter 4 years ago
Is poor parenting the reason children don't value education?Are the growing number of absentee parents and uneducated parents the reasons most children in urban schools do not value education?
by nightwork4 10 years ago
Do you think parents are trying too hard to be friends with their kids instead of actual parents?i don't think parents should be friends with their kids but rather be parents who show their kids what is right and wrong.
by romper20 10 years ago
I don't have pre teen children, but I say spank away.
by hinckles koma 11 years ago
I have experience breast feeding, and iam sure other women here also, so if you have any questions about it ask please. Love all.
by ngureco 8 years ago
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