Fiance and I are a Choleric-Phlegmatic couple. Which temperaments exist in your own relationship?
There are four temperaments: choleric, phlegmatic, sanguine and melancholic. My fiance and I are choleric (male) and phlegmatic (female) and we find that most of the articles online really do hit our differences, likely issues and similarities well. While he is by nature, the driver of the relationship and likes to accomplish things asap, I, on the other hand, take my own sweet time to "smell the roses." As a result, this may sometimes result in misunderstanding. To remedy this, we try to understand each other's temperament and be more understanding. It does work.... sometimes. Share yours!
This is a very interesting question! I find this little legend you've used to be a great resource for mapping personalities. My husband and I probably most identify with melancholic (male) and phlegmatic (female). I will say, though, that not all of the descriptive words used for "melancholic" are 100% my husband. Even though we are both semi-introverted, our personalities compliment each other almost perfectly. He is a realist and I am definitely an idealist.
Congratulations! The phlegmatic is good in any relationship combination (that's what the book says, and I believe). Just remind your partner about how stressed out you both would be, if you were both like him. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman would help you understand how to appreciate your differences.
For me, also a phlegmatic (bet you're not surprised), I've had good relationships with cholerics and sanguines. They have skills I'm attracted to, but don't have. They criticize me for being too laid back, but after they exhale, they agree that I'm the best one to come home to. Phlegmatics are synonymous with balance.
by Irene cobham 9 years ago
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