How do you get your man to do what you want without manipulating him?
Do for him. Cook him dinner, clean up after him a little, anything you know he loves. Then, because men tend to be more direct, just casually let him know once in a while that you would love it if he took out the garbage more, etc. If he feels like his efforts are reciprocated, he is more likely to "volunteer" to do that which you desire.
From a man's perspective, and as all the other answers will probably point out, you can't.
The best advice is to find a man who (already) does the kinds of things you want. Trying to get someone to do something they don't want to is the same as trying to "change" them. I've never met anyone who said; "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
Most people want to be loved and accepted for who (they) are.
When we attempt to change someone it usually leads to frustration on our part and resentment on the part of our mate.
All we can do is directly ask for what we want. There are basically 2 reasons why your mate wouldn't give you what you've asked for.
1. They don't have it to give. (In other words it's not who they are.)
2. They don't believe you are worth the effort.
More often than not it's #1. If someone thinks you are worth the effort they will generally make the effort. However no one can give you what is not in them to give.
Only you can decide if not getting what you want is an actual "deal breaker". Keep in mind perfection is an illusion.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships; we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. We either stay or continue our search.
Have a heart-to-heart talk at the right moment and tell him you need his help. Men don't seem to notice things that need to be done until you point them out. I use honey-do lists and he enjoys checking things off. Works for me most of the time, and when not, bribery is also effective.
I know it's not deep and poetic, but -- I just ask him. If he doesn't want to do what I want, then that's totally his right to refuse. It's then up to me to decide why I wanted it, and decide if it was even important or if I need to come up with my own solution. Thankfully, my husband and I have a very direct relationship -- no amount of manipulation or coercion would move him anyway. He will give me a good reason if he says no, and if I can't accept that then it's my issue, not his. I can't control him if he doesn't want to fall into lockstep with my program.
You can only ask him directly to do it for you. You could persuade him by pleading with him.
Any other thing short of that falls within the framework of manipulation, most especially when it clearly against his will to do that which you want him to do.
You could also make it easier for you to get him to do it for you if you first do him a favor in which case he will feel the need to return the favor but again that's subtle manipulation.
Cajoling, comparing, insinuating, nagging, crying, withholding sex, silent treatment, etc, all fall within the framework of manipulation.
Well I just do it myself, and then he feels bad and does it. I guess it's a nice way of manipulation, but it work better than most things.
by Patty Florence 9 years ago
Does having more roles in your life worth the effort?I know we women have several roles in life when taking care of our families and working. But what if...it clashes with your occupation but you still want to do it?
by Yvette Stupart PhD 9 years ago
How could a couple deal with control issues in their marriage?
by thom w conroy 10 years ago
Have to wonder if writing here is worth the effort...Okay, I have tried just about everything to get natural traffic but to no success. I get the whole "write better hubs, longer hubs, seo friendly hubs" etc. but this just feels wrong to spend an enormous amount of time in the hope of...
by ngureco 14 years ago
Do You Think Paper Trading Stocks Is Worth The Effort And Time?
by suncat 12 years ago
What is more romantic, if a man takes a woman out for dinner or if he cooks for her?
by ghostoftolkien 9 years ago
I love to write, and I'm seeking a platform within which to condense and organize my thoughts, and through which to appeal to those who may have an interest in what comes from my heart and mind. I may actually end up with a legitimate article or two. In any case, I appeal to Hubdom with...
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |