What is the chance of someone with a hair-trigger violent temper eventually hitting their spouse?
I keep beating myself up because I broke up with my ex to join a cult, putting my life in danger. When I tell this to people, they say there must be a reason why I broke up with him in the first place. I did it because we disagreed on too many fundamental things, like his blowing up over silly things. He has since married, to a Chinese woman who barely speaks English. He admits he still has a violent temper. Did joining the cult get me out of the fire into the frying pan???
Generally speaking verbal abuse is the foreplay before physical abuse. If as you say he had a "violent temper" it most likely would have only been a matter of time before he physically lashed out.
Sticking around (waiting to be hit) before you leave someone is not smart. The whole idea of observing "red flags" is to heed their (warnings). You're supposed to get out when you see the smoke.
With regard to choosing to join a cult I've found that people always do what "they think" (at the time) is their BEST option. However in hindsight we often reach the conclusion that we had more options. I suspect a lot of people who join cults just want to (escape) from the pressures of life.
The cult leader becomes a surrogate father or mother providing food and shelter while the other members become a surrogate family. Naturally turning over your mind/life to someone else can be risky and dangerous. Thankfully you were able to get out alive.
I think joining the cult was your sub conscious mind telling you it was better for you to leave. We all have a sixth sense and woman are known more to tap into it. You followed your intuition and took another path. He moved on so I think that you beating yourself up by wondering if you did the right thing is kind of "Just that" beating yourself up!
Trust me if you realized he had a short fuse and this worried you then you did the right thing by leaving. Go have fun and find someone who will make you feel comfortable and safe. You deserve it.
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