What will I do when my man shut me off during tough times of his life or facing

1. 60

   Fila Militarposted 10 years ago

   What will I do when my man shut me off during tough times of his life or facing problems?
   
   Does it mean he doesn't need me as I always need him? As if no sharing at all?

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2. 60

   C.V.Rajanposted 10 years ago

   First of all, it is generally the nature of men, unlike women who always want an outlet and a close one nearby to share their woes. Men think their problems should be solved by themselves. Some times it could be their over bloated ego that prevents them to share their concern and solicit advice.
   
   Or it could be over-sensitiveness to receive criticism (again ego only). Perhaps some men think that they will be ridiculed/ criticized/ blamed for the predicament in which they are caught now. It could be that a man's partner would have warned him beforehand about his earlier intended action that had the potential to backfire. Now, if he goes and shares his problem, he may have to listen the unpalatable "I told you so" and his bloated ego does not want to listen that!
   
   It also depends on the extent of free, fair and frank communication channel that has been existing between the partners so far. If there are blocks already, men won't feel like consulting.

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      Fila Militarposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      yes i agree,but i always remind him that i am always here to listen that i will not judge him.but when i asked him to tell me how he feels,he just keep telling me"again,questions".we never talked since a week,that my every word irritates him..

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3. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   There are a couple of reasons why this may happen.
   The first is your man may consider it to be a form of weakness to show you he has fear, uncertainty, or being vulnerable.
   Some guys always want to appear as though they "have it together" when they're around their women. The "strong silent" type.
   Another reason is he may not feel there is anything you can do so why bother bringing it up! It's been said men are "solution oriented" where women might find some solace by simply airing their concerns.
   He may rather you be his "distraction from his problems". Oftentimes this need to "escape" is given for the reason why some cheat. They want to go somewhere to have a break from their problems.
   One thing a person has to do is to determine if this is really a "change" in their mate's behavior or if he's (always) been this way.
   If he used to open up and talk to you about problems and then he stopped that might be an indication that things have changed for him. On the other hand if he NEVER was a big communicator concerning his problems then YOU are being (unrealistic) by expecting him to become someone he is not!
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept or move on. The choice is up to us!

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      Fila Militarposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thankyou,It enlighten me..yet break a part of me that maybe i am a distraction.Telling me to leave him alone makes me crazy.he doesnt even tell me what s the matter,so have this "?".he tells me "tired of myself,i dont want anyone else",what wil i do?

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   2. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      If you want him then you have to accept him for who (he is) and not what you wish he were. Being someone's "distraction" or the place they can find joy in the midst of their problems is a good thing! It's better than him finding that with another.

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