Do you agree that people can't give what they don't have or don't know when dating?
People can not give or duplicate what they have never known. While no one is able to choose their family setting or background, one can seek help for the situations that created their "norm." If you date someone who has mother or father issues, left unresolved, this person will have issues with the opposite sex. If you experience significant differences in lifestyles and upbringing someone may not find it natural to interact in a healthy relationship given the fact that they have no example or reference point of what a healthy relationship is-they have never seen it.
To a large degree I would say one can't give what they don't have. However I would also add people are not inclined to give someone something (they can't imagine wanting for themselves).
If for example you don't expect to receive a nightly call from the person you date it's probably not going to be a main priority for you to (call them) on nightly basis.
More often than not we approach people with the mindset of "treat people the way you want to be treated". If something would not upset (us) we don't understand why it would upset someone else!
A very important aspect about dating, relationships, and marriages is being willing to accept the fact that your needs and your mate's needs are usually different. The only exception is if you have chosen a mate who is just like you when it comes to the majority of things.
This rarely happens!
Therefore so much time is spent on (learning) what each other wants or expects and (needs) in order to feel loved and appreciated.
Oftentimes we realize what they want/expect that is when we can determine whether or not we are the right person for them or vise versa.
I tend to say there are two reasons why someone would not give you what you've asked for after explaining it's importance to you.
1. They don't have it to give. (In other words it's not who they are.)
2. They don't believe you are worth the effort to give it to.
A mistake a lot of folks make is they expect their mate to "change"
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them as (is) or move on. The choice is up to us!
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