What’s the different between love and lust?

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   Mary Harryposted 4 years ago

   With sex being such a heavy part of modern relationships. Many get fooled into thinking they’re in love when really it’s just good old lust. How can you spot when somebody is truly in love with you or just lustful towards you?

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   1. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      "How can you spot when somebody is truly in love with you or just lustful towards you?" Lust like hunger and thirst is a physical urge/desire.
      Love is an emotion or feeling of well being and comfort.
      
      Having said that "lust" is what distinguishes romantic love from platonic love or the love one has for their parents, siblings, and others in their life.
      
      Most people want to be {physically desired} by their mate or spouse.
      They want to hold hands, snuggle, be kissed, make love, and spoon.
      Oftentimes people want to have intimate/meaningful conversations.
      
      Each of us has (our own) definition and "expectations" of what love is.
      We have our idea of what love is supposed to "look like" and how couples in love should "act like" and what love should "feel like".
      
      There is no UNIVERSAL {definition or expression} for love.
      
      Ultimately it really doesn't matter what is in your mate's heart if YOU don't feel loved. What we're actually looking for is for someone to "love us" the WAY (we) want to be loved. It's why people say:
      "If you loved me you would..."
      They're expressing (their definition) of love.
      
      Several years ago Gary Chapman wrote a bestselling book titled:
      "The Five Love Languages". In it he espoused the belief there are five basic ways people interpret and express love. Discovering what one's mate needs in order to "feel loved" is a real challenge for many people.
      
      The next thing we have to consider is our strategy for getting the love we want. Some people believe communication and making demands is the key while others believe the best strategy is to find someone who (naturally) expresses love {the way} you need in order for (you) to "feel" loved. This goes (both ways). Are we expressing love the way THEY need?
      
      Just because someone doesn't speak our "love language" doesn't mean they don't love us. They simply are not the (right person) for us.
      
      Our options are to stick around and hope they believe we are worth the effort to learn to express love (the way we need) or should we "move on".
      
      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.
      Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
      Each of us has our own mate selection process & "must haves list".
      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".
      
      Only YOU know what YOU "need" in order to (feel) loved.
      If your "needs" aren't being met YOU (chose) the wrong partner.
      This is especially true if they are unwilling to make the effort.
      
      
      
      
      
      
      

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      1. 64

         Mary Harryposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Dashingscorpio I love reading your discussions! That was very clear thank you

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   2. 82

      peterstreepposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      What's the difference between a chair and a table?
      Love and lust are different things. There is nothing wrong with lust, being horny, wanting. And there is nothing wrong with love.
      Lust and love exist in different forms. Without lust, people would not procreate. Without love relationships between humans wouldn't last long.
      In the end, we are animals. And there is nothing wrong with that.
      Lust is longing, wanting. Love is a milder version. And although people can do romantic about it, love is still driven by lust. Without lust no love. But perhaps there is lust without love.
      As with everything, to much love or to much lust is a terrible thing.
      And in balance. If two persons lust for each other you will have a great time together. If only one person lust you can call it rape. Same with love. If in a relationship one person loves the other but is not loved back, love is a terrible thing to give and not well spent.
      Love can make blind and let people do things that are not very wise. Chasing a person for years, in the meantime closed for other opportunities.
      Having a sexual desire and lust for someone elsewhere in a longtime relationship is also not a fruitful thing.
      As with all human emotions, they are great and make us alive. Don't moralize them but use them and control them when needed and let them run loose when needed. Humans are complex beings. That's what I think.

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      1. 64

         Mary Harryposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Woww that’s very true, thanks for your input Peter

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2. 74

   Chika Nwankwoposted 3 years ago

   Love has to do with God because God Himself is love. Anyone that does not know God will find it difficult to love genuinely. Love is unconditional and never as a result of what you alone will gain. God must be in the center of it before it becomes genuine.
   
   Lust has to do with strong desire just for your benefit alone without considering how it will affect others. God is not not in it.

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3. 75

   Castlepalomaposted 3 years ago

   Lust can't wait
   Love can wait.

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4. 80

   Kathryn L Hillposted 3 years ago

   "With sex being such a heavy part of modern relationships. Many get fooled into thinking they’re in love when really it’s just good old lust. How can you spot when somebody is truly in love with you or just lustful towards you?"
   
   Its a very very good question. You actually can't and that's a scary thing.
   I could go on and on about this topic and have written a lot of poems regarding the sadness
   of being
     fooled
       and tricked
   and manipulated.
   And feeling lost
   and used
       and uncomfortable
   and distrusting
   and frustrated ...
   
   
   
   Watch Two and a Half Men.
   You will recognize the endless pitfalls and miseries resulting from "Free Love."

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   1. 75

      Castlepalomaposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I think a little lust is healthy with your partner. It keeps it romantic and alive. Personally I can only barely hang on to one woman at a time. Lusting over other woman is a invested waste of time.

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