Ok, this has been a major issue for me! I'm getting married in July 2011, and originally was going to have a guestlist of over 100, in the city I live in, but cost prohibited me. Now I'm doing a destination wedding, but I'm limited to 25 guests. Here's my dilemma: I think, with that limitation, only family and friends who are like family can come, but I have more family! And the issue with the more family is that we're not close, don't talk, and generally have interaction only at holidays when we're all able to make it. But you know how family is - because some of them didn't get save-the-dates at the same time they already assumed they weren't invited, and it just becomes a petty fight topic forever. What do I do???
I think you're forgetting the two most important people in this scenario - you and your partner!
If you let them know that it's going to be an immediate family function only, they'll be more likely to understand than if you pick and choose from your extended family. Put your foot down and invite only parents and grandparents.
Another idea is to have a larger post wedding party back at home after the wedding and invite all those who weren't able to attend the wedding.
make the destination wedding locale somewhere in Libya...
no one will want to go... problem solved
Another reception later on when you can invite a larger group seems like a good solution. You can even share wedding photos then or a well edited video. All of the best with your wedding and new life with your spouse!
I think when you have a destination wedding you should send invitations to everyone, even if you know they wouldn't attend because of costs or maybe people don't like to fly but it is best that they have the choice to say "No" . Then you do not have to hear "I didn't get an invitation".
For budget purposes, it is smart to cut the guest list from the beginning and it may hurt peoples feelings but at the same time, you should not feel obligated to invite people you do not speak with on a regular basis and also you should not invite people for the sole purpose of them inviting you to theirs. Nowadays it is very hard to have weddings so people go the destination route as well as maybe put plans off for 2-3 years so they can save for what they want.
I have a family member that thought of the destination route and many obstacles arised so now they are putting it off and saving the money for a house first. The destination weddings add up with flight and some hotels tend to add extra fees when you want to book reservations at resturants for your guest to be included every night. They don't tell you all this at first. Then you would have welcome bags for your guests and extras for ceremony/reception. Destination weddings make it seem like it is cheaper bc it is all inclusive but then it is not. Do much research and speak with the planner at the location you are thinking of having it before making any decisions.
I hope everything works out for you.
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