firstly im a 33 year old mother of one teenage daughter. I had a T.I.A stroke september last year and lost a fair amount of the gross motor skills we all take advantage of until we are without. I had this stroke at work pulling 12 hour days. Three years ago the abusive man i was with that held shotguns to my head that i never loved left me for a woman who was 12 years older then myself with five children, nothing against her she did me a favour. in the three years i dated two people who lasted less then a month, one when i had my stroke, yes i had sex with them and its no surpise to me that they left. i also resigned my job and moved interstate to my girlfriend of 20 years for medical help as the doctor has said i need someone. i would love to have my family help me but they have their own children to deal with.
i have been in my new surroundings working hard again and saving everything i have to build a home for mydaughter and me.
I met this man online, i have been seeing him for seven wqeeks averaging about once a week due to work commitment on his part and my own, and i will not interfere with his weekends he has with his sons. in this time of seven weeks he has shown me all over the city repeatedly so that i will know my way around knowing that i do not retain information all that well. he has also taken me to lunch and for coffee and agreed to still meet with me after work one night even though it was very cold.
i went out on another date with him last night and he showed me the house that he owns and will live in when his sister moves out. he has also asks on several occassions where i would be moving to when i do finally get there. he has told me his plans how much his mortgage is and i suggested he have someone board with him. last night i waited as long as possible, a first for me in all my years, i have wanted him since i have seen him and i had sex with him.
he has since last night sent me messages everyday as normal when he wakes up and when i go to sleep i get a sweet dreams.
i spoke with my sister concering this because i have never developed any feelings for someone until now. I'm scared he might turn out like my ex and beat me up. in 21 years i have never known a guy to be nice or treat me well i have been abused in every form and i only let him know that i am damaged goods. My sister thinks that i should be upfront and open and tell him the sordid details, where as i beleive that he will stop talking to me now that he has what he wants. the last thing he said to me last night when he dropped me at my front door was we will see a movie and kissed me goodnight. I only told him to let me know when.
If i am wrong with him and im not being used how can i overcome years of habitual abuse. i want to know whether he is wants me or not
You seem to like him and he seems to like you. Don't let your fear of the unknown overpower and weaken you. After what you have been through I think you are very strong to have given another man a chance. Be honest and upfront with him. The longer you wait the harder it may be for him to see it from your point of view. By letting him know now you may be saving yourself another heartbreak or you may be at the beginning of a beautiful relationship. The only way to avoid abuse is to be able to identify abusive traits in people and avoid them like a plague, be independent and strong in your resolve. All the best.
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