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How to get your mind off your ex: How to get over a recent break-up

Updated on August 12, 2015
Dealing with new break-ups
Dealing with new break-ups | Source

How can I forget my ex? My boyfriend / girlfriend just broke up with me, how can I get my mind off him/her? How can I stop thinking about my ex? How do you deal with a fresh or new break-up?

Break-ups are possibly the hardest thing to deal with in the game called love. Almost everyone has had their heart broken or has broken someone else’s heart at least once in their lifetime.

Break-ups are painful, depressing and something we all dread experiencing.

Can you move on straight after a break-up?

Whether or not you will be able to move on completely from the relationship depends entirely on your feelings for each other, the reason for the break-up, the duration of the relationship and many other factors. As time goes by you will be able to better decide whether or not your relationship is over for good, whether or not the ending was for the best and whether or not it would be in your best interest to move on. Time heals all wounds so the longer it’s been since the break-up the less pain you’re likely to feel surrounding it. You might still have feelings for your ex or love him or her (as love doesn't just go away) but you won’t likely be in pain over the break- up though (not as badly as you were initially).

This article covers a few tips in getting through those first few really rough days, weeks or months after the break-up. It won’t erase your ex from your mind and make you forget him or her completely but it’s likely to allow the pain to subside a little.

How to deal with a fresh/new break-up:

· Go out

Going out allows you to get your mind off your ex in that there are constantly distractions. Being at home or alone almost forces your mind to ponder on all that you’d rather forget or not think about – your ex; making healing or forgetting a lot harder.

· Spend time with those who care

During a break-up, especially in the early stages, you need as much support as you can possibly get. Those who care about you or love you like friends or family members could be just the support structure you need. Couple this with the previous tip of going out and you have the perfect ‘ex forgetting remedy’ – a night out can do more good than anything else.

Fun with the girls
Fun with the girls | Source

· Keep busy

Being bored, similarly to being alone, will fill your mind with thoughts and memories of your ex and the times you spent together or of all the hurtful things he/she said or did to you – definitely not what you need.

Keeping busy will allow you to focus your time and energy on other things. Spend more time taking part in a sport or hobby you enjoy and your ex will gradually be able to fade out of your mind a little.


· Write a vent letter (more on vent letters)

There can be nothing as great as a vent letter to help you fast track the healing process after a break-up.

A vent letter is a letter you write to your ex with everything you feel or would like to say to him or her in it. You can then give the letter to your ex, mail it to him or her, or set it on fire and watch it burn out along with your feelings and hurt with regards to him/her.

Vent letters have as an advantage the fact that they allow you to express all your feelings and thoughts (including the ones you may be too shy or scared to tell your ex in person) without being interrupted. The bigger purpose in them is to allow you a sense of closure with regards to the break up and the opportunity to remove the excess baggage and ‘weight’ from your heart.

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· Avoid any additional torture

After a break-up we’re often tempted to keep checking on our exes social network profiles resulting in additional pain or torture depending on what they're posting, who they’re talking to or who’s flirting with them now that they’re single. The best solution to this (even if you hope to be friends in the future) would be to completely illuminate cyber stalking or checking up on your ex. If you really can’t trust yourself on this find ways of working around it: delete your ex as a contact or block him/her.

You will be okay with time

There may be many different remedies or temporary cures for a broken heart after a new break-up; the matter of the fact is that your overall healing time depends almost exclusively on how deep your feelings for him/her were.

Irregardless of your feelings for your ex though, as has been mentioned, time will allow you to move forward with life. Some break-ups take longer to heal than others - you just need to hang on in there.

Are you still in love with your ex?

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