- Gender and Relationships
How To Get Rid Of An Wanted Guest (Pest)
Do You Have An Unwelcome Guest In Your Home?
At one time or another, we all have been a guest in someone's home or have had a guest in our own home. What kind of guest were you? What kind of guests have you invited into your home? You have only two answers to choose from:
Welcome guest or Unwelcome guest.
At first glance, the day of arrival it is difficult to distinguish between the two. However, as the days pass by it becomes easier to see and when departure day comes and goes, you will know for sure.
Let's look at each one a bit closer just to make certain.
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I have a link at the end of this lens where you can purchase this tin sign.
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Have you ever been faced with this dilemma? What did you do?
The Perfect Guest
The perfect guest is usually invited by the host or hostess. They have mutually discussed and made the necessary arrangements in advance. They have allowed enough time to prepare and allow for unforeseen circumstances. The day of arrival and departure are agreed upon in advance.
During the visit the guest demonstrates respect and appreciation by not taking advantage of the hospitality expressed by their host. For example, they adjust to the time schedule of the host by eating, sleeping, waking etc. accordingly. The guest knows they shouldn't take the comment, make yourself at home, too literally. They keep their room straightened and orderly. They offer to help with preparation and cleaning up after meals. Better yet they invite the host and hostess out for an evening as their guest. Making an excellent time to relax and enjoy each others company.
As departure time arrives, the guest shows appreciation by leaving their room clean and free of trash. They may even offer to change the linens. The idea is to leave things as nice as you found them. Another nice gesture of the guest is to show gratitude by leaving a thank you note and perhaps a small gift for their host.
The perfect guest will always be welcome to return if these simple guidelines are followed.
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The Perfect Pest
"Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." Benjamin Franklin
The perfect pest does not arrive in this form but gradually begins to change from guest to pest as time goes on. I don't think it is necessarily done with intention but it can happen none the less.
Due to whatever reason the guest arrives without notice and you might feel obligated to open your home. At this point you could graciously recommend a nearby motel and explain it's just not a good time for you to have guests. The other option is of course to invite them to stay for a few days. This is often the point of no return. The boundaries were not established before their arrival and can become very unclear. To establish some boundaries it is your responsibility as the host or hostess to openly communicate your expectations and limitations to the guest. In the guest's defense, they can not read your mind and if left to their own assumptions, they will not meet your expectations.
At first the issues may be small but as time passes the list of problems will grow. The guest has become the pest. It could be that the television is too loud or may even include something as ridiculous as how your guest/pest breathes. You seriously wonder if the guest/pest will ever leave. You want your home back. You want your life back.
The best answer is straight forward communication. It is far better to be honest and open when communicating than to play emotional games. The emotional type games, scheming or plotting will only hurt you and your guest in the long run. The issues aren't important at this point. Make your conversation about a date for them to depart.
Bless your guest and their future as you say good-by upon their departure.
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What You May Want To Do - But Please Don't
1. Hint Hint : Wow! Can you believe you have been here 3 weeks?
2. Don't include them in activities. In fact, just leave without a goodbye or telling them your agenda.
3. Quit being hospitable, making meals for them asking if they need anything
4. If they help around the house ignore it you didn't hire them as a live in maid
5. Ignore them, cut conversations short with a simple Uh Huh
6. Text or play games on your phone.
7. Reclaim your space move your son or daughter back into his room.
8. Put their suitcases by the door.
9. Drive them to a shelter.
Last straw : Get police escort.
What To Do First
Let's Talk About It
Please remember each situation is different. In most situations the guest is likely to be a family member or good friend. If they have over stayed their welcome, it could be due to some personal problems.
Are they having problems at home? Are they having trouble in school? Are they having trouble with work?
You may be their last hope so again the answer may just be some good communication. Communication like love builds hope and mends hearts.
Hopefully the situation can be solved quickly and you will helped them to a fresh start.
Remember family and friends are forever.
Do as you would want done to you.
I Got The Hint
Have no fear, I got the hint. Extreme gratitude and thanksgiving to you and your family for helping me in the worst moment of my life. It is time for me to move forward to my next moment good or bad. I'm learning to accept the saying, It is what it is.
I may be homeless for awhile, but I can look forward to the day that I can help someone else with their needs. My desire is to help is not just to repay my debt but to do the right thing.
Please quit looking down on people in need. Their suffering is real and not necessarily the result of their past actions. You do not know their heart, their journey or their past. Please quit judging.
When It Is All Said And Done
When it is all said and done and you want to reclaim your home as your own, you may want to hang out a No Vacancy sign.
I suppose one can view this topic as funny but it can be quite serious as people we know and love are usually involved. What ever the outcome of events, give yourself a rest. Let the dust settle before opening up your home and your life to a visitor. As time heals all wounds even this situation can be forgiven and forgotten. Remember every situation can be a learning experience.
Who knows, one day you may come together again and laugh about it.