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how to save your marriage by sacrifice and compromise
The marriage myth
And they lived happily ever after. This is one of the myth of marriage which paint a rosy picture of a happy and long lasting relationship. A picture of continuous courtship where there is no problem and everything is smooth sailing. Many couples enter into marriage relationship with this expectation in mind and are soon disappointed when their expectation failed to become a reality. It takes a lot of efforts to experience success and happiness in marriage. If you want to enjoy your marriage, you must deliberately work hard to make your marriage work.
Marriage has been accepted by anthropologists as the oldest institution in human society. The most cited evidence for the argument that marriage has proven to be a remarkable and durable social structure in human culture is the rate of remarriage after divorce and widowhood. When there is an increase in divorce rate there is also a corresponding increase in the rate of remarriage and when divorce rate decreases remarriage rate also decreases. This evidence attest to the fact that marriage remains an important aspect of life. And if this is so, then your marriage is worth fighting for. You need to fight hard to save your marriage.
The hero lies in you
The best way to begin building a happy and long lasting relationship is to begin to hold yourself accountable for what is not working in your marriage. And what does that do to you ? It forces you to begin to look for a way to turn things around because you now realize that it is your responsibility to do so.
Someone once said, marriage is like cooking your best meal, you add all the spices to make it a delicious meal,and when eating time come, you are treating yourself to an ''enjoyable meal'' .To put in other word, you are the master of your destiny. The architect of your fortune and responsible for your own success.As you make your bed so you will lie on it. No one can make your marriage successful for you and your spouse. There is a saying that "if it's going to be it's up to me". It is all up to you. The buck stop at your table. So to save your marriage and make it better than before, you need to put your shoulders to the wheel. The hero lies in you.
Another thing worthy of note in taking your relationship to a higher level of happiness is to upgrade your belief system and begin to believe in the permanence of your marriage. You should never at any moment contemplate divorce. Marriage is a contract that is supposed to last a lifetime. When you signed the dotted line , it is for better or worse and till death do us part. There is no divorce clause in a marriage contract. If you approach your marriage with this at the back of your mind, it will strenghten your resolve to fight on to save your marriage from falling apart.
You also need to disabuse your mind about the wrong belief that there will be no problem and everything will be smooth sailing. There is no normal marriage without problems and all couples without exception do have disagreements one time or the other. You have to face this harsh reality of life and deal with your disagreements in a good way.
The best word of wisdom my mentor gave me was when he said "the mark of relationship is not the absence of conflict but it's the presence of a reconciling spirit". Are you facing marriage problems? Are you thinking of divorce and then of remarriage? Perish the thought! What is the assurance that the second marriage will not encounter problems? Listen to the saying that the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know! You need to adjust your thinking, your way of life, your way of relating with your partner. There is need for marital adjustment.
You must quickly adjust yourself to married life. Failure to adjust have led to the ruin of many married relationship especially at the early days of marriage when the cord of oneness has to be bind tightly
When I was single, I lived the life of a single man, I was what could be termed the landlord of many local pub. I pub crawled, hanging out with friends, sometimes till the wee hours of many morning. I still continue with this kind of attitude, when i got married, but i later found out that it was taking a heavy toll on my marriage, I had a second thought . I changed my attitude, I adjusted my lifestyle to that of a married life. Since I made this adjustment my married life has changed for the better.
Sacrifice and compromise
Believe me when I say there is no marriage without problem one time or the other. This is one lesson you must learn to strenghten your marriage. And that lead to the greatest secret I've been waiting eagerly to to share with you. Marriage system requires that two people with individual desires, needs and values live together and do everything together. This system like every other system often creates tensions and unhappiness. I'm happy to inform you that every conflict can be overcome by mature sacrifice and compromise.
You need to redefine and give up part of your desires, needs and even your values in order to accommodate that of your partner. You have to sacrifice your time, your money,your friends and even part of your ego in your effort at saving your marriage.
When there is arguments or disagreements, you cannot always have your way.There is need for compromise, to surrender part of your will,to respect the opinion of your partner.Always remember that the days of living individual life is over and you are now in a new era of committed partnership.This is the secret that I have used to stabilize my marriage over the years and it worked for me. In relationship, you have to make sacrifices and compromises. Compromises is an inevitable part of life.
The black and white keys of a piano keyboard work very harmoniously together to produce pleasant sounds. Husband and wife also should live together in harmony and complement each other interests and needs by virtue of both similarities and differences. If you press the white key of a piano keyboard alone you will never get a harmony, likewise if you press the black key alone. You and your partner need to complement each other role to build a happy home. A paradise on earth.