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Love's Fragrance

Updated on November 28, 2010

Love's Fragrance

Love’s Fragrance – By Nicky Bantham

If a synchronization of sound creates harmony in music, then the elegance of its delivery, usually determines the success thereof. So it is with love, the one emotional instrument, we have all encountered, in different forms, and, which, like music, can only be successful when delivered with elegance.

For centuries love has been depicted as a pendulum of extremes, where sanity and insanity usually inhabit the same person, where its sweet aura captures the hearts of rich, poor, young and old alike, and its essence far-reaching and without confinement.

Countless tales of love’s scorn and passion, its poison and rich fragrance, dominates 16th century theatre, where highly acclaimed playwrights such as William Shakespeare, entertained Elizabethan society, both high and low in stature, with scripts like Romeo and Juliet, proving that the search for solutions to love’s complexities, do not only preside in modern day ‘co-dependent’ relationships.

So how is it, that the length, depth and breadth we humans go to for the experience of this emotion, aware of all the pitfalls, landmines either of us could trigger in the other, still makes the quest all the more intriguing to those known to hold high levels of intelligence? The all-time low of course being, that I, prime practitioner, victim and volunteer to the profile described above, have learned nothing which warrants dignity in matters of the heart.

I’ve delegated my way through relationships, completely oblivious to delusions that have shaped my impressions to date. Many suitors from far and wide, have been part of this delusory phase of my life, all starting out with great enthusiasm, promising to hang the sun, moon and stars, but somehow falling short, without fail, each predictably panting for breath, as marathon runners do during the final leg of their race! If I didn’t know better, Id accuse each of them of secretly conspiring to destroy my mental balance, which I have to mention, has been highly questionable.

Despite the effects of regular surreal events constantly catapulting my life into a different romantic direction, coated in promise, hope and well, more delusion, I find myself, face to face with yet another experience of what love is not. ‘Taking time out’, to ‘heal’, would be widely regarded as the wiser course, after ending a relationship or four. But how does one apply love’s rules, which has no logic, definition or basis, to experiences, which are clearly designed and orchestrated by fate, keeping in mind all of the above?

As an evolved species, blessed with high degrees of wisdom, we spend our time in relationships, fuelling our ego with beliefs that separate us from the truth about ourselves. We become dependent on partners who really have nothing to teach us, because they have no interest in growing themselves, but because of societal pressures, stay happily ensconced in relationships no longer serving or making us happy, then wilfully take steps to walk down that aisle, spending thousands of ‘borrowed’ funds to be contractually bound to an institution which says: Till Death do us part?

Living unconsciously in love’s house, means we never have to take responsibility for mistakes, issues or choices we’ve created. We watch our sense of peace slowly eroding as more and more violations to our personal constitutions become apparent. We flatter the ‘lie’ we’re mostly living towards ourselves and mask our identities with ideas which only reflect our poor self-image, as we parade our lists of conquests within a society where judgemental practises are paramount.

If we could view relationships as lessons for personal growth in this Earth School’, then our ‘teachers’, aka former incongruous suitors, would be seen as enablers of our present development, rather than enemies of our pasts. We often turn a blind eye to situations which are clearly signposted as NO ENTRY zones, convincing ourselves that we are quite capable of living untrue to ourselves at the cost of having’ a partner,or worse yet, a husband/wife we have nothing good to say about.

With all of the above in mind, I entered the doors of yet another new conquest, only this time, my modus operandi was completely different. I was going to act out the script of this relationship, as myself, lead star in my own life, for a change, forgetting the iconic figures from ‘Hello’ magazine, that have greatly influenced my idea of what happiness looks like in an airbrushed world.

copyright © November 2010

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    • Nicky Bantham profile image
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      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Thank you, Dynicky!Indeed the path to love is about self love, first and foremost. I'm so glad you've enjoyed reading my articles.I look forward to reading yours too.Have a wonderful Christmas!

    • Dynicky profile image

      Dynicky 6 years ago

      WOW Nicky! Don't change your writing for the entire world. This touched me! I have to felt the same way! Its awesome. The path of love relationships is indeed a path of learning more about ourselves. And the more we grow, and the stronger we become... The better we become and the better relationshps we attract into our experience! This is awesome! Keep it up!

    • Nicky Bantham profile image
      Author

      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Thank you for your comment, Shelley!I've just found out by email, that this article has won!!!

      *Thank you to ALL who have voted for my hub&for the inspiration to continue. I'm deeply honoured by this recognition!!Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the hubpages community and a hearty congratulations to all the nominees, who in my mind ARE all winners!Have a blessed&peaceful Xmas, one and all!!!

    • profile image

      Nicky Bantham 6 years ago

      Wow Nicky...a truly profound piece. I love how you reflect the reality of love...the polarities we experience aloong our unique journeys. I resonate with so much of what you said, which is eloquently expressed and articulated. Thanks for this amazing piece. Continue to inspire with your words of wisdom. xShelley

    • Nicky Bantham profile image
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      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Thank you, Pamela!How lovely of you to stop by and read. You most certainly are welcome to read my other hubs!Have a wonderful festive season!Thank you again.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 6 years ago from United States

      This is a thought provoking hub. I enjoyed it and will be interested in other hubs your write. Congratulations on your nomination.

    • Nicky Bantham profile image
      Author

      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Thank you ripplemaker!I've voted!!Patty's hub was amazing!!!Your hubs on happiness had a wonderfully calming energy. You are very eloquent!Thank you also for taking the time to read my hub and comment.Healing definitely starts within:)Loved it!!!

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      I am so glad that you already know that your hub has been nominated. :) so instead of coming to announce it officially, I'm sending you warm congratulations and best wishes! Being true to oneself and one's definition of love and life does make all the difference. So keep on... :)

      If you love this hub and want to vote for this one, head this way please: http://bit.ly/g2tFIN

    • Nicky Bantham profile image
      Author

      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Thank you Docmo, for your endearing sentiment!!It's an amazing validation coming from someone I do not even know.

      GlstngRosePetals, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. Will definitely check out both your and Docmo hubs!!

    • GlstngRosePetals profile image

      GlstngRosePetals 6 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Welcome to hubpages very good article your off to a good start. Check out some of my hubs

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 6 years ago from UK

      Beautifully written, Nicky, such depth about the delusions and mythology of love and the complex webs we weave. Good luck with the new phase of your life, and if this hub is anything to go by, you are on a winning trail. ...good luck with your nomination.

    • Nicky Bantham profile image
      Author

      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Thank you so much for your inspiring comment, elayne001!I am deeply honoured by the nomination and thankful to those who have voted for my hub!

    • elayne001 profile image

      Elayne 6 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      You are a natural writer. You paint very well with words. Congrats on the nomination and good luck.

    • profile image

      Rosita Rhode 6 years ago

      A touching poignant piece Nicky. Quite honest in its revelations...I particularly liked the part- Living unconsciously in love's house-- and 'we flatter the lie' very true for many relationships today. I will continue to reflect on this one as I feel one reading is not enough to process the full meaning of what has been written. Zita

    • Nicky Bantham profile image
      Author

      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Shakespeare wrote 'To thine own self be true'. Thank you, Poohgranma!You make me happy:-)

    • Poohgranma profile image

      Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge

      So what is wrong with melancholy? Should we hid behind a mask of falsehood to please those who are not brave enough to see beneath? This @ kirutaye, of course Nicky and not you. Your writing is honest and brave and I for one of many appreciate the freshness of it. Wonderful write.

    • Nicky Bantham profile image
      Author

      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Thank you so much Libby!What an honour,receiving this comment from you, with all your awards!Love reading your hubs!

    • libby101a profile image

      libby101a 6 years ago from KY

      Absolutely beautiful. You did a wonderful job on this. Voting up!!

    • Nicky Bantham profile image
      Author

      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Thank you, Dori. Life can sometimes surprise us when we start believing in our ability:-)Your writing is very powerful too!You've inspired me to post a poem:)

    • fortunerep profile image

      fortunerep 6 years ago from North Carolina

      This is beauty in words, i love the part about our "airbrushed world". Welcome to HP, hope you stay for a long while..

      dori

    • Nicky Bantham profile image
      Author

      Serendipitous 6 years ago

      Thank you, Kirutaye!Am also intrigued by your eloquent pieces.Very new to this:-))

    • kirutaye profile image

      kirutaye 6 years ago from London, UK

      This is a beautiful hub, although a touch melancholic. I hope your other hubs are more upbeat.

      Welcome to HubPages and keep writing. :o))