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relationship guidance

Updated on December 10, 2012
Give new love a try.
Give new love a try.
Look to the future; not the past.
Look to the future; not the past.

Things I have aquired over the years

Going into a new relationship can definitely be a scary thing. Especially if your last one ended badly. One thing we often do is take from our past relationships and build walls up in our new ones. Coming into a new relationship and trusting someone right off the back can be a hard thing to do. Now we all know trust is earned over time, but you can't start a relationship without it. This is where we tend to go wrong; we enter new relationships with trust issues from our past one. In order to have a healthy relationship you have to let go of your old relationship and start from scratch in this new one.

Letting go of the hurt you have come across in the past can be hard, but in order to have a healthy new one. You will have to find a way to let go of that hurt. Listening is a big factor in a relationship next to trust. If you don't listen to your partner you can misinterpret things. Now if you don't fully understand what your partner is asking/saying just ask them to either repeat themselves or explain it in a way you will be able to fully understand it in. The same goes for you in your relationship. Use your words wisely and if your partner doesn't fully understand be patient with them. Some times we are always in such a rush; we don't stop to make sure that our partner is okay. Then, not only are you upset your partner now is because you didn't take them into consideration.

When starting a new relationship your new partner doesn't want to hear about your ex-partner. They don't want to hear you complain, discuss intimacy, or anything else when it comes to your ex-partner. Endlessly talking about your ex-partner may show your new partner you still have feelings for your ex. Be sure to be considerate of your partner and leave your ex where they belong in the past. Now if your partner asks about your past feel free to tell them, but do so with caution and limitation.

If you are a parent and are entering a new relationship do so with caution. Some times when we enter a new relationship; we don't take our child's feelings into consideration. Try to prolong the new partner meeting your child until after you find out how your child feels about it. Dating can be a long process and you don't want a bunch of people in and out of your child's life. So make sure when this step comes your relationship is serious. If your child starts acting out after a new relationship. Sit down with them and find out what's going on. Make sure you listen carefully to them and make them feel like their input is important.

In a new relationship don't play games. A person is looking for someone to be with not play games with. If you play games in your relationship 9 out of 10 times you will lose. You shouldn't play with a person's heart. Like I said at the start I know that starting a new relationship can be scary especially when it's easier to just go back somewhere you are comfortable. Like I always say though and I'm pretty sure you might have heard this. If it didn't work the first time most likely it won't work the second time. What's in the past should stay in the past; move forward and try something new. These are just some things I have gathered over the years I have been dating. I hope these help you like they have helped me.

:) Megan

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    • LifeisLovely profile image
      Author

      Megan 4 years ago from Clearwater, Florida

      Thank you, I know I'm also still learning as the years go on, but I've found these useful when I am in a relationship.

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 4 years ago from North Texas

      Agree that you definitely shouldn't share extremely personal info about past relationships too early on and you definitely shouldn't involve your children if you have any with casual dates. Some good advice here, but I get the feeling you still have a lot of stars in your eyes too.

      Voted up, interesting, and will share!

    • LifeisLovely profile image
      Author

      Megan 4 years ago from Clearwater, Florida

      Thank you, and unfortunately people do play more games than anything. That's why most of them lose out and end up with something less than what they had.

    • Maddmatthias247 profile image

      Matthias Zahniser 4 years ago from Kent

      This was an amazing article, you hit every point head on. I especially like that part about not playing games. Its both childish and cause unwanted drama. A lot of people are into that unfortunately. That's why its best to put all the cards on the table. Life is too short to pretend to be someone you're not, or treat people as if they are second rate. Great job, I look forward to more of your Hubs.

    • LifeisLovely profile image
      Author

      Megan 4 years ago from Clearwater, Florida

      Thank you for the follow. I figured since I've been through many different types of relationships I'd share some of the key points on why they didn't work.

    • FullOfLoveSites profile image

      FullOfLoveSites 4 years ago from United States

      Sounds and expertly-written hub about new relationships. I may add -- don't use the new person in your life just to show that you've moved on from your ex. Thanks for sharing.. Voted up and interesting. :)