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Serial Monogamist: Is This the New “Bad Guy”?

Updated on February 14, 2012

I Love My Life...

Nationally syndicated columnist Betsy Hart and author of the new book From the Hart responded to a comment she made regarding George Clooney the in an interview with The Christian Post.

CP: In your book, you talk about George Clooney and why women everywhere should stop sleeping with him. Why pick on him?

Hart: “He's a very high-profile confirmed bachelor, that's why. My theory is that women everywhere in the world should make a vow that they're not going to sleep with George Clooney – or men like him – outside of marriage. These guys go around breaking one heart after another because women don't believe the men when they say they do not want to ever get married. Every woman thinks she will be the one to change him and they don't. Meanwhile, they're living with him and giving him all the benefits of marriage. Of course he's not going to get married. I believe that if women everywhere stop sleeping with George Clooney, he would in fact get married.”

Is George Clooney the new bad guy?

Several months ago I came across an article concerning the breakup of actor George Clooney and his former girlfriend. Over the years it has been widely reported that George who was once married has no intentions of ever getting married again.

By most accounts it appears that George is faithful while he is in a relationship. He does most of the romantic things women clamor for. (Trips around the world, shopping sprees, lounges at his villa in Italy, dinning in 5 star restaurants, attending Hollywood premieres and award shows).

In his spare time when he is not making movies or enjoying the fruits of his labor he is trying to avert a war in Africa. He’s made several trips to Capitol Hill in an effort to get government support. Compared to many in his trade George Clooney is fairly “scandal free”

As was mentioned earlier George makes it no secret he does not want to get married. The women he dates are fully aware of his lifestyle choice. And yet after each breakup there appears to be sections of the population that paint him to be a bad guy.

Besty Hart's assertion that these women are giving George Clooney all of the "benefits" of marriage appear to be outdated in my opinion. Her notion that George would get married for the purpose of having sex harkens back to an era when women were asked to reflect upon the following question; "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free?" This way of thinking buys into the notion that living together will decrease your odds of getting married. However according to recent statistics over 50% of newly married couples actually lived together prior to saying, "I do." For more details read my hub Living Together: Will it Decrease Your Odds of Getting Married?

“Why date if you don’t want to get married?”

This question was actually posted as a comment by one female reader.

It’s almost if she were saying he was wasting these women’s time. I began to wonder if people really felt being in a monogamist relationship which does not result in marriage is a waste of time.

Does it negate all the wonderful experiences a couple shared during their time together? Should people not looking to get married spend eternity going to restaurants, movies, plays, concerts, traveling, and numerous other events (alone) for the rest of their lives? Should they only have sex with escorts or one night stands? Are holidays only meant for families and couples who are married or planning to get married?

Have we really gotten to a point where a man who is honest about "his intentions" up front is considered "a bad guy" because he sticks to his word?

When a man states he doesn’t want to get married assume he is telling the truth! Marriage is a lifestyle choice and not a requirement for happiness. Life is a personal journey. If you don’t agree with someone you are free to move on. There is no “right” or “wrong” per se only “agree” and “disagree”. Ultimately we’re all looking for someone who agrees with us!

I'll let George himself respond to that female reader’s question.

Why date if you don't want to get married?

Life is better with company” – George Clooney, from “Up In The Air”


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      wonderful1, Just as you stated, "do it because you or someone you love feels good about it." Life really is a personal journey. We should all strive to live life on our own terms. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. There's nothing wrong with falling off the wagon once in awhile. It proves we're human! :-)

    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 6 years ago from Southern California

      Rules, shmoolz! I say, do what feels right, and do it because you or someone you love feels good about it. You know, a life lesson that I learned from the cyber romance (although it still hurts), is that there is still hope to find the kind of love I'm looking for, and my innocence (ability to love without holding back) is still in this heart of mine. I thought it was gone, but it was just smoldering for a while. Even in the face of heartbreak lies hope that I can and will love passionately.

      But cavedwelling is OK for the heartbreak faze. Although, I really fell off the wagon last night with my "man diet." Ah foowee!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      wonderful1, I agree with you it does seem like life is someting where the "rules" are always changing. It probably should also be acknowledged that (we) are always changing as well. Some things I thought were "important" seem a lot less so. I guess one of the keys to having a happy life is to always have something to look forward to. Love the cave idea!

      I'll bring the cocoa when my turn comes around. :-)

    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 6 years ago from Southern California

      Oh, Dashing.... you could be my kindred spirit, but you'll have to take a number at this point. Every time I think I've figured out life, they change all the rules. I want to crawl into my cave and hibernate like a bear and drink hot cocoa. Anyone want to join me? We can watch "Gladiator" and "Dumb and Dumber" to pass the time. I don't care. Wake me up when life is easier.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      wonderful1, You are so right! Most people save their "best" for the "beginning" of (new relationships). They settle into a rut and just before things fall apart they try to find a way to bring back the passion, romance, and lust. "It's easier to maintain a fire than it is to reignite a spark". A lesson often learned too late.

    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 6 years ago from Southern California

      I hear you. I used to think marriage was all that. Until it wasn't. I don't want it anymore. Too complicated to end. Fairytales are for books. Real love doesn't need paperwork. The only thing that changes after "I do" is people's attitude.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      wonderful1, Thanks for your comment. I'm willing to bet there are a whole lot of folks in the same boat! As George stated, "Life is better with company". This hub came about after I saw a yahoo shine comment where someone made the comment (Why date if you don't want to get married?)Is there anything wrong with just dating and being in an exclusive relationship? Too many people view dating as "work" you have to endure in order to get married. I suspect what they're really looking forward to is a time where they can "relax" and stop "impressing" their would be spouse. Little do they know... Nothing "magical" happens after saying "I do".

    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 6 years ago from Southern California

      Gee, I consider myself a serial monogamist. All I want is a connection. And intimacy. And exclusivity. And passionate sex. And honesty. I guess I'm too high maintenance.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      findawayormakeone, Thanks for stopping by to read my hub and posting your comment. I agree with you. Men are also guilty of getting with women whom they plan to try and "change" as well. I think we'd all be better off getting with people who (already are) what we want and more importantly they want the same things we do. Thanks for the vote up! :-)

    • findawayormakeone profile image

      findawayormakeone 6 years ago from Washington, DC Metro Area

      I enjoyed reading this Hub. First of all, I'm George Clooney lover--his acting and humanitarian efforts are both amazing. But you brought up some good points. I agree, honesty is all we have. Many women believe we can change men in the long run, because we're "better, more beautiful, more intelligent" than his last woman.

      But in the end, women need to stop with this thinking. Great hub! I voted up.


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