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Tips for Letting People in Your Life Go

Updated on December 22, 2019
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Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 14 years.

How do you cut off ties with someone who makes you miserable more than happy?
How do you cut off ties with someone who makes you miserable more than happy?

Friends and family are a lot like with the only difference being blood and genetic traits. A close bond is common in both arenas due to joint interests and spending copious amounts of time together. What hurts the most with your closest loved ones is when they break your heart. Can you move past the hurt or move past them completely? It's hard to say what the right thing to do is because each situation is different.

Socializing is an important part of life due to the fact you get to connect with a different array of people as often as possible. Sometimes these connections last longer than a New York minute, while others last a lifetime. Developing your social skills is as easy as adding a new friend onto your Myspace page, but what do you do when you want to block them? That's not so easy. Usually the motive to white out someone from your life is when they burn you beyond recognition stemming from stealing your romantic partner or getting the new Mustang you want. How do you forget about all the good times when the few bad ones hurt like hell?

For family members, writing them off is next to impossible when you've to see that person at yearly family functions. It would look bad for you to skip those functions based on your cousin's cruel comments. Imagine your mother or grandmother lecturing you until the next milennium. Not fun in the slightest. Your best option with family members is to keep your distance and still be cordial enough not to tip everyone off that you dislike them. Keep a drink handy to loosen up your anger just enough to get through the family event and leave as soon as possible that way you have some deniability involved.

Learn what you need to do to remove yourself from any dysfunctional equation. Take a step back and a deep enough breath not to do anything rash. Here are five tips to use in order to let someone out of your life with a reasonable amount of compassion and low maintenance fuss. Decide what's right for you before making the next move. You can't take anything back once you begin, so be careful.

- Take a walk or go to the gym to cool off before saying anything regrettable. Never start a confrontation acting like Attila the Hun with the biggest sword possible. Keep all cutlery out of reach so you don't turn to extremes to cut someone out of your life. Cooler heads always win instead of two hot tempered bombs ready to blow anytime. Wear protective gear to protect yourself from getting hurt physically or verbally.

- Don't fall for any tricks. If someone is an expert in deception, realize that they could be pulling another fast one on you. Read between the lines when your friend offers some type of cease fire. Listen for clues in their words and watch for physical cues that they're lying. Are their eyes moving around the room like erratic pinballs? Are they looking at you directly? Does their tone of voice change lack sincerity? Be aware of these things when talking about continuing any type of relationship with that person because you don't want to regret it.

- Remove any opportunity to contact them from your possession. Take their phone number out of your cell phone and block their user account on your Myspace page. Avoid the temptation to reconcile with that person immediately. What makes you think things will be different after a week or two of no contact? Is that person going to change overnight? I don't think so. A leopard never changes its spots. That person won't either. Give up while you still have your dignity.

- Be civil in public. If you can't avoid that person in public, be on your best behavior. Pass them a napkin in the cafeteria at work or wave to them if they wave first. Don't ever say anything derogatory about them because it's beneath you. Act like a mature adult, not a petulant child.

- Resist the urge to cause trouble. Don't seek a fight with your friend or family member just to draw blood. It's understandable you want to hurt the person that's betrayed you, but never sink to their level. Confront them in a neutral setting such as a park or the mall. Walk away if they want to take the confrontation to the next level before you both get carried away in handcuffs. It's a bad way to end any relationship and is a permanent stain on your record. Be mature and leave your golden gloves at home.

Finally, putting the brakes on a toxic relationship is impossible because you've to take into account how the person is going to react to you. Don't even try to control a situation that is beyond your control. Just keep it simple enough to sever all ties amicably and walk away without many scratches.


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