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When Love Has Gone.

Updated on March 7, 2016

Heartbreak.

Your love has gone, do you feel alone, are you prepared to make the first move. This question and more, are raging through your mind when an intimate relationship is over. If you are prepared to make the first move, then you really have to apply logic to your actions.

It is easy to say I know, but you must remain in control of your situation. Do not chase your ex, do not plead or beg. Maintain your self respect, you have to remain strong. Allow your strategy to take over. Disappear from the scene, it might be difficult but do it. Talk to mutual friends but do not see them, this way your absence will be more noticeable.

Mention a new interest.

After perhaps two weeks mention that you might have a new romantic interest but only that you might. By now you will be a focal point of conversation within your group, or circle of friends. If your ex is still interested in you and embers of love still remain, they will contact you in some way. If they do not then please move on, if your ex isn't bothered. It is time to go.

If you are contacted remain in control say that you would like to see them 'for a catch up' without being too blunt, this indicates that you don't consider your meeting to be a 'date' When you meet be totally upbeat in your attitude, look them in the eye and be extremely interested in their conversation. Try to be the person you were when you met. They will feel flattered by this approach and might well open up in there own conversation regarding your break up. Do not be argumentive or unkind, remember they too might well be hurting just like you. It might be that your ex tells you of their regret of past actions. Should this happen remember why you are there, you are trying to rekindle your relationship, so listen and be thoughtful in your replies.

Your self respect is important. Keep it.

If after this meeting you are still not reconciled, maintain your dignity, show some self respect and leave it there. As time passes you will be glad you did.

You might ask how I am qualified to give advice on this subject, when Pauline and I have been married for over forty years. Well over those years we have been lucky enough to employ some amazing young people. We have seen many a tear shed by so many over relationships with boyfriends, girlfriends and yes, wives and husbands too. We are in touch with many of them even today and still some of them drop by for a chat over a cup of tea.


THE MESSAGE WITH THE IMAGE BELOW, IT REALLY IS TRUE.



Is Your Hair Dry or Greasy.








Talk it over it's the only way.
Talk it over it's the only way. | Source

© 2012 Graham Lee

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    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 4 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Rajan. Thank you for your valued visit. I am pleased that you found it of interest. Thank you for the votes.

      Graham.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Hi Graham,

      This is useful advice. Thanks for sharing ways in which those who have lost their love can proceed to see if they can get their love back.

      Voted up and interesting.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 4 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi AnnaCia.

      Thank you so much for your most welcome comments. They are greatly appreciated.

      Thank you for the votes and following.

      Graham.

    • AnnaCia profile image

      AnnaCia 4 years ago

      Hi Graham. I don't know if its because I feel down today or what, but your advise has touched many memories in the past. The way you write is very clear and goes to the point. You move the reader through the words, making sense of everything. Love the attitude. Voted up…following.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hello Lesley.Thank you for your visit and congratulations. I like to joke that our marriage was wonderful, but it's been going downhill since the photographs. Thank you for your vote.

      Graham.

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello Graham, congratulations on over 40 years of marriage - how wonderful!

      Excellent advice, thank you for sharing and voting up.

      Best wishes Lesley

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hello snowdrops. Thank you for your visit and welcome comments. I think your work is first class. Thanks again.

    • snowdrops profile image

      snowdrops 5 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

      Life has its curves, ups and downs. Your hub is full of wisdom. I'm glad that I've found you here in HP.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Christy. Thank you for your valued comment it is appreciated. Yes life can be difficult but decisions have to be made. usually the sooner the better. Thanks for your visit.

      Graham.

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      We really do make relationships complicated, don't we. Wise words spoken here.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Nell. It's actually 44 years married this year, with 'never a cross word' LOL.

      Graham.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, as others above have said, great advice. I always said that if I broke up with someone I would do more or less what you said, but of course my emotions would get in the way! congrats on the 40 years! Wow!

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hello Rosemay50. You have read the hub very well. Thank you for your kind comments, and your vote.

      Graham.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      With age comes wisdom. I enjoyed reading this and your advice is good. That little carrot of 'I might have another romantic involvement' will get the ex to make a move for fear of total loss, and if not then its time to let go with as you say dignity.

      Its just a shame that it takes us so long to learn these lessons.

      Great hub and voting up

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Ciel. How wonderful that could be! Thanks for calling and commenting.

      Graham.

    • Ciel Clark profile image

      Ciel Clark 5 years ago from USA

      Very good advice. Now if I could just go back to certain past events and remember your words!

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hello Angela. Thank you for your valued visit. Yes age helps with so much doesn't it. Thank you for your excellent comments.

      Graham.

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 5 years ago from Central Texas

      What marvelous advice and suggestions -- wish I'd had some of that input when I was young and very foolish -- age does help us I've found. Thanks for a marvelous read. Best/Sis

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Eddy. Thank you for your welcome comments. I am so glad that you have read the poem. I hoped you would like it.

      Best Wishes.

      Graham.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      I loved this one Graham because the lesson is clear.If the love is meant to be ours it will stay intact throughout freedom but keeping love captive will not make the heart grow fonder.

      Life is indeed a learning curve although at times we maybe ignore that specific lesson.

      Be honest to ourselves which takes me to that poem you suggested I read 'The Man In The Glass'.

      Spot on my friend and I've saved it so that I can read again.

      Take care Graham and I am going to look forward to following you on here.

      Eddy.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      I put the last paragraph in just in case anyone thought I might have had 40 years of 'bliss'. LOL.

      Graham.

    • Sweetsusieg profile image

      Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan

      Anyone that can lay claim to 40 years of marriage has earned that right to give advice on love!! Thanks!

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Thank you sofs for your valued visit and comment. You have read it well. Only mention that you might have another interest. Should you say that you have another interest then your ex will not want to make contact.

      Graham.

    • sofs profile image

      sofs 5 years ago

      Great tips here.. I liked the little bait that you threw in there, the mention of the romantic interest.. but maintain your dignity is sound advice. If you love someone let them go if they were yours they will come back to you.. if not.. it is time for freedom.. Great hub. Have a wonderful day!

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi UnnamedHarald. I agree with your sentiments. Thank you for the votes.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Thank you Billy for your thoughtfull comments.

      Best Wishes.

    • UnnamedHarald profile image

      David Hunt 5 years ago from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

      old albion, I can say, from personal experience, that your advice is sound. If you maintain your dignity and are honest with each other and, above all, still love each other, you can weather the storm. If not, move on with grace. I would have read your hub earlier but didn't receive an email notification until just now. Voted up and useful.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Great words of wisdom; there comes a time, with the advancement of age, that we stop and realize we really have learned some valuable lessons in life. Keep speaking the truth so others might learn.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi hoteltravel. Thank you for your interest and helpful comments. thanks for the vote.

      Best Wishes.

    • hoteltravel profile image

      hoteltravel 5 years ago from Thailand

      With forty years of matrimony, you are fully qualified to advice youngsters on love. Let me make it clear that I am not looking for breakup advice. I am happily married to my best friend. I wholeheartedly agree with you that after breakup, both parties should maintain dignity. After a decade of marital bliss, I can say that friendship and mutual respect are the two main ingredients to a happy marriage. Voted up.