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"Alone" Chapter One

Updated on April 26, 2012
© Quill Collection
© Quill Collection

Welcome Again

After releasing the short book titled "The Quiet" here with such great response I thought I would let the next in the series out as well. There has been increase in sales on Amazon and I thank all who have supported me there. This one is called "Alone" it is the next in the seven book series called "Quiet Reflections" of a time in my life where I found great healing and freedom in living in the wilderness of the Yukon.

Welcome to the Fireside, it is evening so the fires are burning all has been prepared and I welcome you to sit and rest after a hard day. Stay as long as you like and Quigley will keep you entertained with her antics. I just carried all her toys and placed them back into her toy box and I see they have already started to be redistributed again. Thanks for joining in and please if you care to comment I would love to hear from you.

May you find peace and joy here...

Alone Cover

© Rolly A. Chabot
© Rolly A. Chabot

Chapter 1: "Within Myself"

Forward

This is the second of a seven book series called “Quiet Reflection.” It will take you intimately into the lives of two Native communities where I was able to befriend some special people.

Follow closely as I travel into the heart of loneliness at those times when I have forgotten the need to reach out and help others. In doing so I have filled the void in my own life.

Listen to my experiences as I find the “Sadness” slowly lifted by serving, just as God calls us to serve.

Welcome, dear reader. May these words bless you and touch your spirit and inspire you to serve in a meaningful way.


Chapter One

“Within Myself”

Alone again, I thought as I looked through the many picture windows of the secluded street I found myself on, the setting was in Whitehorse, Yukon well north of the 60th parallel, a community built on the dreams of many gold seekers of years past.

I had already gone through the motions of telling people that I was not going to be spending the day alone. After all it was a special day—Christmas—special to all who come together.

Yet each year at this time I felt the same loneliness. For me it was simply a day of inner turmoil, a day of deep searching for the true meaning of life. Life had changed for me; this past year had been filled with change. Change so great it left me unsure of who I was or who I would become.

Here I was again on the outside of the celebrations, the family and friends gathered in many of the homes I passed. I knew some of the people, even if simply as casual acquaintances. The north was a place where you could hide and even so a place where people knew each other. People never asked questions, they just accepted each other. If a relationship were meant to be it would flourish.

From the darkness I was able to look in and watch the festivities. I recently heard a phrase that I have been searching for over years; it identifies the feeling I was lost in. "The Great Sadness," It fit what I was feeling today.

I pulled the parka hood over my head as the light snow started to come down heavily again. This had been the fourth day of snow, we had over an 18 inches and the forecast said it would be with us for a few more days. The flakes were huge, as big as I had ever seen. You could almost hear them as they hit the ground, one piling on top of the next. At least there was little wind here in the north, the trees we had kept it away unlike the prairies I had come from.

I was grateful, as always, for the gift of the parka I had received several years earlier from Mino Kesikaw—the wife of the chief of the Taggish Native community located some 70 miles from Whitehorse. It was the capital of the Yukon, which I called home.

The parka was exceptional, made of pure wolf. Only the finest portions of the fur had been used to make it. It was two layers of skin with the fur both inside and outside. I treasured it greatly, especially on evenings like this.

My friend Johnny's wife had given the parka to me as a token of love and appreciation for my help the summer before, after a fire that devastated the community. Lives were lost, lives shattered, but the strength of these people shone through in a lesson that has lasted me a lifetime. Only a few close friends called her Mino, and I was blessed to be one deemed as a friend.

Mino and Johnny are true soul mates. It is special to watch the love they have for each other. They share an inner peace, knowing they belong together, that allows them to communicate through unspoken words. Many times I watched them with envy for what they shared.

Even though Johnny was a quiet man as a general rule, when I asked about Mino he would rattle on for as long as I was willing to listen.

His wife had come from Alaska years before and they met at a Native gathering of chief's in Yellowknife North West Territories, situated as well above the 60th Parallel in Northern Canada. She had been hired on to serve at the gathering, and the moment Johnnie laid eyes on her, he knew love for the first time. There was no turning back from that day. As Johnnie said, “I was smoked.”

In Cree Mino’s name means “beautiful.” It fits her perfectly because she is exceptionally beautiful, with olive skin and long black hair as shiny as the morning sun on water. Her features are very distinctive. She had high cheekbones, full lips and her most unique feature: her eyes. She could capture any man deep within them when she spoke, but great pain and suffering shone there as well. Hidden by the love she had found yet still there when you looked close enough.

Johnny told me that her eyes were what captured his heart. She rarely spoke of the misery she experienced as a child, not even with her husband, but for the first time in her life she had come to know the love of God, her Creator.

There she found the healing she had been looking for. Her sense of peace was empowering to all whom she draws close. I once asked Mino where she found this peace. She touched her heart, pointed toward heaven and began to cry. She shared some of her suffering and looked across at Johnny, that unspoken love in her eyes. Johnny simply smiled.

Without a doubt any man could see the love they had for each other. Johnny was a truly blessed man and he knew it.

******

I shivered and it brought me back to the falling snow on Christmas Day. One house at the end of the street caught my eye as I watched a young lady, maybe 20, playing the piano. Her motions were pure and simple, each keystroke deliberate. The song she played was familiar: “Joy to The World.”

When she finished she hung her head as though in prayer. I watched, intrigued, as she sat quietly for several minutes, and then came waves of tears. Her sobs were uncontrollable, and I felt guilty because I had invaded a very private moment. Before I turned away, she arose and walked quietly across the room to shut off the lights.

I knew what she was feeling; she was yet another victim of the Great Sadness.

I arrived at the end of the street and the edge of town. Just beyond was a mile or so of solid timber, some small outcroppings of rocks here and there, and then the Yukon River.

I decided I would walk on, as there was nothing to return home for: just an empty house, except for Tannis my faithful Cocker Spaniel, who I had left sound asleep at the fireside. It was a rare occasion when I could leave without her knowing. After all it was just another day in my life. Again the sadness fell upon me as I realized I was alone, because of some of the choices I had made in my life had been costly financially and emotionally. Over the years I tended to make bad decisions, driven generally by an inbred negative thought process. Alcohol and drugs added to my confusion and misinterpretation of situations at hand. Thus I acted foolishly. An early marriage at a very young age cost me a great deal of money, time, and years in the courts sorting through holdings, in addition to the emotional pain of dealing with it all. I had to live with what I had done, just as we all have to live with the consequences of our poor choices. Still I knew there had to be something more; this could not be It. Whatever was causing the Great Sadness could not be normal.

But in that moment on Christmas, I simply cast it aside and disappeared into the darkness of the night. It swallowed me leaving only the tracks I left behind which within an hour of this snow would be no more.

I laughed silently to myself as I realized what I must have looked like--a man covered from head to thigh in wolf fur, stepping into the darkness. There have been many stories over the years about the mysterious Sasquatch. I could have been mistaken for such a creature, ambling off into the wilderness covered in snow. I wondered was anyone watching? After all I had been watching others. The feeling of being watched has a tendency to grip a person. We will never truly be alone, as I have come to learn over the years. God is ever present and walks with us at all times.

© By: Rolly A. Chabot.... All Rights Reserved

All the content that is published on this site or in any electronic or paper book form under my profile Rolly A. Chabot or name are my property and are protected by all applicable Copyright Laws.

No part may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission from myself the writer.


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    • profile image

      iamaudraleigh 5 years ago

      I am impressed with your quality of the written word you present. This series should also be as successful. Voted up!

    • profile image

      coffeesnob 5 years ago

      This is great work. I love how you open the pages to real people by your descriptions of them.

      Blessings to you

      Carol

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi iamaudraleigh... thank you for visiting and the comment... the Fireside is open and you are more than welcome anytime.

      Hugs

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi coffeesnob... great to see you again. What a pleasant surprise. Funny I was just thinking of you this morning as I was pushing down on the coffee press (Thats right Kicking Horse 454) and wondering how you guys are doing. So nice to see you and thank you for the comment.

      Hugs from Canada

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 5 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      After a terribly busy morning, it's so nice to settle in with you, even in "the great sadness". Looking forward to another fantastic series!

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Woohoo another story to follow! A great start here Rolly, I'll be at the fireside. (Just a quick note to change 'Chapter !" to Chapter 1"). :)

    • Vladimir Uhri profile image

      Vladimir Uhri 5 years ago from HubPages, FB

      Yes, bro you have an excellent way to put your thoughts down. I have a lot to learn from you. I do not know what happened in certain frame time. Agape you, my Brother.

      You mentioned word “Alone”. I live alone, but I am not lonely, my Lord is living with me. I am very happy.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi lifegate... you are a gentleman i so many ways... thank you for the visit and the comment.

      Hugs

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Christy... thanks for catching that and already done... glad you are here and taking the time to say hello.

      Hugs from AB...

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Vladimir ... as you get into te boo a little further you may get a different view of the term alone... at the time I was very alone and yet know there was someone close by.

      Hugs and Thanks

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello Rolly, it's nice to be at the fireside and to read the first of your 'Quiet Reflections' series.

      Beautiful writing, great work and voted up.

      Looking forward to reading more, best wishes Lesley

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Lesley... Thanks for the visit and the comment. It is always good to see you here with us...

      Hugs

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 5 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Her black hair being as shiny as morning sun on water was such a beautiful picture with words. From a special writer. On the outside looking in, so very sad at holidays. Can't wait to catch up. Voted up.

      Jackie

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Jackie... great to see you again. Just a play on words but a scene that played out so many times. Tannis had a special seat at the front of the canoe and would sit for hours just soaking up the sun... Christmas was always a hard time back then... but have since gotten through it.... smiles

      Hugs from Canada

    • tlpoague profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from USA

      I finally have a moment to catch up with some reading and fell in love with the story so far. I am looking forward to reading more.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi again Tip... you are such a faithful reader... thank you for setting some time aside in your day and finding your way here.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Jynzly profile image

      Jenny Pugh 5 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA

      Hi,

      It's beyond me to imagine the kind of life, place and people, you are living...Even your description of the beauty of Mino and the kind of love she and her husband have for each other, cannot sink in me...Reading your hub makes me feel like I am reading characters and places in a fiction.

      But it's wonderful to hear from a "fictitious" character writing his own life situation for real...

      Wonderful hub...it's like taking me to another world, a world so much different from my own. I would have been dead of loneliness...were I in your situation.

      Jynzly

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Jynzly... welcome to the Fireside and good to have you join us. The life I have written about is a life I lived several years ago. The characters are real as is the writer. It was a wonderful period i my life I was compelled to write about in a book series called "Quiet Reflections" actually 7 books in total.

      Loneliness after all those years is no more than a state of mind really after you have made friends with people such as Johnny and Mino. Their love they had for each other and the creation around them was filled with such peace and joy.

      Hugs from Canada

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 5 years ago from Texas

      This is truly a beautifully written story. It is sad that sometimes we find ourselves alone - sometimes even in a room full of people. It can be a great sadness. I will have to read the subsequent chapters also. Great writiing as usual. Hugs from Texas!

    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 5 years ago from Savannah GA.

      Great story so far...I am envious of you living in Yukon for it a place I always wanted to see but never have. Voted up and Beautiful!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Cindy... heh girl good to see you up and at it again after the blistering 30/30.... Thanks for taking the time to stop by and say hello....

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi HVW... it is a place filled with mystery and has a draw on you after you visit. There are so many opportunities for those who seek them out.... it is a last frontier and should yo ever make it I would say enjoy it...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      Rolly, I am a bit slow in getting stated but plan to read all of this story. Your descriptions make the people come alive and the mystery of the Yukon is revealed. Awesome beginning. God Bless.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Pam... good to see you again and blessed to see you are reading and taking all the offering in. It is a special place... still hold it dear to my heart...

      Hugs fro Canada

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 5 years ago from Finland

      I can really feel the loneliness. It's very beautifully written and enjoyable to read.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      I loved this one and now I definitely look forward to so many more.

      Take care and enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Made... welcome again to the Fireside and hope you have stayed warm... yet another day of snow here and hovering at the 0 degree mark. THanks for joining us and I do hope you read on.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Eddy... welcome to the Fireside and thank you for following along and I do hope you enjoy the book. Glad to have you follow along.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 5 years ago from Finland

      I will read all the chapters. I can't stop now. :) It has been snowing here in Finland all day long, too.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi again Made... Thanks for the visit to the Fireside and sorry for the snow... we are getting it as well this morning so you are not alone... Finland is a great country with so much to offer... Thanks for following along...

      Hugs as always

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 4 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      Nice to meet you, Rolly, Nell introduced you with the golden award and I think a lot of her, so congrats with that.

      I'm glad your book is doing well, it hooks you right in, easy to follow, well written and filled with emotion and honesty. I hope the first book I just finished will do well too! Just ordered a proof from amazon so waiting anxiously. Do you worry about people copying your story off the hubpages? Just wondering! Take care, Kathi

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Kathi... first and foremost welcome to the Fireside and I do hope you enjoy your time here.

      We all have the concern of the infringement of our copyright laws without a doubt. I carry a blanket copyright worldwide and it is monitored by a professional firm who pursue any infractions. Be sure and mark all your work with the © symbol for starters... on a Mac it is Alt G on a PC if I recall it can be found in the Character Map under the start symbol... Will be looking up your work...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      My heart weeps for the sadness

      That over takes one soul. Without our God we are nothing. What a blessing this story is to my heart.

      Debbie

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Deb... thanks for the share and well I think when we are honest with ourselves we have all had those times when we have be so very lonely. In my case it was driven by pride and the failure to allow anyone into my little closed world...

      Hugs from Canada

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