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Kindness Everyday: a powerful weapon
Silence and kindness
Silence and kindness are the most powerful weapons in any relationship.
It takes a lot of stamina from one person to remain silent. Churches preach, raising their voices, about love. Christians devour and fight for acts of kindness and more than ever it is taken for vanity. Public love is vain love.
The true seed of our current lifestyle is the one we cultivate when we close the door, when we get in our cars, when we speed onto the yellow light and when we rush our children each and every day.
Rush is not kind
Each and every day we steadfast with not enough time to be silent, to listen, and to be kind.
The majority of those that surround us only seek for someone that will really listen. Sometimes that person is our son. And every day, we are always in a hurry and we are yet to find the time to be silent, to listen and to be kind.
If we are in the store and a stranger would pass by, we will pull our child by the arm and scream at him: "Move!" Then we will go on to tell our child how it is important to be kind to others and then we are still to understand how come there are dysfunctional families.
We are dysfunctional. Our saying and our doing are not in tune. Our children will soon get it... too soon.
Rush is a lie in itself
There is no need to rush. You will not be more productive solely because you rush. Not because you run faster means you are getting anywhere.
Besides, under the circumstances and today's society, such rush may dictate the last time you got in the car to go wherever.
The stress and levels of violence that surround us should force us now more than ever to be grateful to be alive right now. We are indeed survivors. We should be grateful that our children are alive today. And my most deepest condolences for those out there that have lost a child. I could not imagine, nor do I want to think about such kind of grief in my soul.
Appreciation and kindness
I only have left looking at my children and thanking the Universe that I was able to hug them this morning as they went to school. And be thankful for the jokes they make to me and ask forgiveness for the times that I have not looked in their eyes to talk to them.
We only know that we have been born. Today I invite you to enjoy your children, if you have them. If not, to enjoy your life as it is.
Ten acts of private kindness
Of course acts of kindness are as large as the number of Hubbers. Anyone could start with the ones stated here. Noted the special condition, these are to occur when no one, not your friends, your visitors or long lost relatives are watching.
1. Please, Excuse me, Thank you- Manners should not be reserved for the outsiders. Manners should, must, indeed start at home. Ask for small favors and tagged them along with 'please', life is oh so much sweeter.
2. Clean each other's plates- Basic rule in any household should be that each take care of their own plate. Every once in a while, it would be nice that one surprises another offering to take care of their plate, just because.
3. Clean after yourself- As a home caretaker, I do not see a greater act of love than each cleaning up after themselves. Shoes put away, clothes in their drawers, toys picked up... a total bliss.
4. Let others have the remote- Do not hog any conversation, but at home do not hog the remote. Stand up once in a while, hand her the remote, let her have it once in a while.
5. If you want some water, pour two glasses- Never ever go to the kitchen to get something only for yourself. Never ever. Always ask someone if they want anything, or better yet, just bring them a bit of whatever you are having.
I ran out of ideas, so I pick on my younger son's brain. He's staying home today, had to call in sick for school. I asked him "What are acts of kindness?" At one point, he answered "Happiness". I explained to him that happiness is an attitude not an act in itself, but more on that in some other hub.
6. Hugs- Hug lavishly. Wow! How come I didn't think of this? Hugs should be at the top of the list. Hugs are free, yet so valuable.
7. Cheer each other- Do not make it about you. Is never about you. Is always about them and that is the way it is. At home family should make it about the family. The family is the star of the show, not you as a family member. Celebrate each other victories, albeit small. Baby steps, beauty pageants, graduations... Make life a mutual celebration!
8. Help each other- Some Barney kid's song goes "The more we work together, the happier we'll be". Too true. There is indeed a great deal of happiness in helping each other, and there is no greater act of kindness than the one that occurs when we act just to benefit another, especially a loved one. This does not mean being a servant. This talks about mutual cooperation. One sided kindness quickly wears off.
9. Communicate- Bothered? Stressed? You have every right to be. You are indeed entitled to all of your emotions, just make sure you express them assertively, not sarcastically. You have a right to be mad, what you do not have a right is to make other's miserable.
10. Turn the light off- It is the little things. Please turn off the light as you leave the room. Why make it a hassle every time? Why does anybody need to repeat this? Where is the love there? The kindness? Turn the light off as you leave the room. This must be like the simplest act of kindness.
Don't scream... please
Kindness, like I tell to my son, is an attitude. This attitude has to reflect upon our daily lives, all the time. Those that reserve acts of kindness for public occasions put up a charade. Life as a charade must suck.
There is one final note though. Please do not scream. Do not raise your voice. Rather let it go, let it come around, breathe in. Come again, and do let them know if you are bothered. Do not tell me this is difficult, I am still alive and might be writing this as a special reminder. Maybe reminding you I remind myself to not scream at my older son for not calling in last night to let me know he wasn't going to show up until this morning.
Kindness is a life mission, but we are able. We must be.