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A Christian's View on Marriage Equality

Updated on March 26, 2014
Marriage Equality and Christianity
Marriage Equality and Christianity | Source

To Wed or Not To Wed, That is the Question...

Let me start by saying two things:

1. I am a Christian.

2. I support Gay marriage.

What does that mean, exactly? Well it means that I attend and am active in my church on a regular basis. It means that I carry on a constant communication with God (or at least I try to). It means that I trust the Lord and try to do what He tells me to and what I know He wants me to do. It means that I'm not convinced being gay is wrong. It means I don't think marriage should be restricted to someone based on sexual orientation. It means that I believe being gay or transgender or bisexual or straight doesn't have anything to do with your ability to love.

It means that I try to fill my life with and teach my children the importance of love, respect and tolerance. As I tell my son, families come in all shapes and sizes and wouldn't the world be boring if we were all the same?

"Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins."

1 Peter 4:8 NRSV

"Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law."

Romans 13:8 NRSV

"The Comandment we have from him is this; those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also."

1 John 4:21 NRSV

"And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:13

Marriage Equality and Christianity
Marriage Equality and Christianity | Source


One resounding message I hear over and over throughout the New Testament, is love. Love one another, love your neighbor as yourself, love your wife, your husband, your family. LOVE. Not love some people but not others. Not only love those with the same beliefs and/or values. Not only love the people you think are worthy. Just LOVE.

God gave us the ability to love. He tells us to love.

He didn't say, "Decide for me who can love and when and where. Figure out who is allowed to love and marry someone and work out some guidelines for me."

There was a time when interracial marriage was considered wrong and wasn't allowed. I don't know about you, but I can't imagine a scenario where God would weep over a love filled marriage just because one half of the couple was a different race than the other. And I can't imagine he would weep if one half of that couple was the same sex as the other, either. I believe He would rejoice! for two people have found each other and devoted their lives to that one person. They can still be fruitful and multiply. And isn't that what God wants for us? To know the love of family? To raise children to be loving, caring people that worship Him? We can do that whether we are traditional parents, single parents or gay parents. We are still parents.

Marriage Equality and Christianity
Marriage Equality and Christianity | Source

"Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgement on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things."

Romans 2:1 NRSV

"Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone..."

John 8:7 NRSV

Tolerance and Respect

At what point do we draw the line for regulating marriage? If the line is drawn simply between gay and straight, then we are being quite hypocritical. I hear so often about protecting the sanctity of marriage. If we want to do that, then we had better get some more regulations and fast!

I'd start with Hollywood....

The whole idea of marriage is to have ONE. We say in our vows, "until death do us part." Not, "until I meet someone else" or "until we get tired of each other." If we want to protect marriage as a union, then stop allowing divorces, annulments and remarriages. Ludicrous, you say? Exactly my point.

We say being gay is wrong so you can't marry your partner. Okay, well, we say premarital sex is wrong too so does that mean only virgins should be allowed to marry? And adultery is definitely wrong, (heck, it's a commandment!) So wouldn't that mean adulterers shouldn't be allowed to marry, either? That's what I mean about the hypocrite thing...

How can we respect the sanctity of marriage if we are constantly making a mockery of it?

I did not choose who I would fall in love with and marry. I didn't open a big book and point to a picture and say, "Him, he's the one. Wrap him up and deliver him to my doorstep." No, he was chosen for me. My life as well as his, took twists and turns that led us each on a particular path that intersected at the exact moment they were meant to. God led us to each other. He wants us to be with our counterpart, He put them here for us. But we aren't born with a map in our hands. We know who that one person for us is only when we meet them and God comes to us as that little voice inside our head that says, "That's the one. He/she is for you."

It's not our choice how 'the one' is packaged. We just love who we love and sometimes we just can't explain why. And maybe we aren't supposed to. But the thought that resonates in my head louder than any other is this: God doesn't make mistakes.

None of us is the judge, we aren't even on the jury. We're merely spectators, awaiting our turn before the bench.

Well said.
Well said.

The Fruit of the Spirit

Marriage Equality and Christianity
Marriage Equality and Christianity | Source

What it all comes down to...

There are more than a few voices that will disagree with me, I am certain. I understand that we all have our own beliefs and understandings. What I feel and hear and understand when I read scripture and interpret God's love for us, is not necessarily what others will. Many will say that there are scriptures that say being gay is a sin. Perhaps it is, I cannot say I know for sure. What I do know, is that God did not put us here to hate. He put us here to love. How can we, as humans, decide the parameters of that love? If you ask me, marriage equality is a civil issue, not a religious one. Being able to marry the person you choose is, or should be, every human's civil right.

"There are some things in them hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other scriptures." 2 Peter 3:16

We all take from the Bible what we understand as we read. We interpret within ourselves God's message and I believe, that was somewhat of an intention. He knew we would not all be in the exact same situations as our neighbor or brother or friend but that we would each be able to hear Him speak to us with the right words. So many scriptures can be interpreted different ways and, depending on the place in life we find ourselves while we read, we may interpret them differently ourselves. What a scripture says to me one day may be a far cry from what it said to me the first time I read it.

God has led me to some unbelievable places in my life. He has blessed me and rewarded me more than I could ever explain. When He speaks to me, I try to listen. Sometimes it takes me a little while to figure out what He is trying to tell me but when I finally listen, I do my best to obey. That statement brings me to why I am writing this. The question of marriage equality, or allowing gay marriage, has been a rather hot button topic for a while now. Recently, it has hit in my home state and I see people all around me stating their stance. I am not usually one to make public declarations regarding my political or religious views. It only sparks debate and I prefer to avoid that. But so many times in the past few days, I have felt an urging, a prompting if you will, to let my voice be heard. I do feel God is telling me to have a say, to speak to the world with the voice He has given me.

I am not here to tell anyone that I am right and/or you are wrong. I'm just doing what I was told...


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    • profile image

      Robin Hartman 

      4 years ago

      Thank you for this

    • To Start Again profile imageAUTHOR

      Selina Kyle 

      5 years ago

      Thank you, Rebekah!

    • Rebekah Ozanne profile image


      5 years ago from Western Australia

      Thank you for that hub- I liked what you wrote and how you wrote it.

    • To Start Again profile imageAUTHOR

      Selina Kyle 

      6 years ago

      Thank you ESA for that amazing comment! I felt a little backlash myself from some (not all, though) within my church for my views on this subject. It seems, like you said, that homosexuality has taken the place of racial issues or even gender issues in America. And I agree one hundred percent, it isn't for us to judge! I am happy to tell you, that as I have researched others thoughts and views on this topic, I have found that there are actually quite a few Christians out there who feel the same way we do. I just wish more were vocal about it. Thank you again for the read and for the great comment! And thank you for voicing your thoughts!!

    • EyesStraightAhead profile image

      Shell Vera 

      6 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      I enjoyed reading this Hub. I was fired from a volunteer position with a local non-profit religious organization because I shared my thoughts on why do so many of us who call ourselves Christians get upset with things that really don't matter in this lifetime? I mean, what business of it of my if you sleep with men or woman? How does it change my life or my walk with God? My JOB as a Christian, my commandment, is to LOVE you not judge you. It is to share Jesus' love by possibly being the only Jesus you may ever see in this lifetime. Not to be the judge and jury. Especially when I speed, curse at times, worry, and have other sins of my own. I am pretty sure whether you consider it a sin or not, the Bible is clear that we should not judge one another and that there is no level of sins. So in this lifetime, and I am pretty sure in Heaven too, I could care less. I love the advice I get from my friends, whether they are married to men or women; whether they have two dads or two moms or one parent or one from each gender; whether they have always been men and women or if they just became so recently. We would not find it acceptable to judge someone based upon their skin color or race these days so it feels like we have just decided to cast it off on homosexuals. It is all the same: judgment. And it is all wrong. Thanks for sharing these great thoughts!

    • To Start Again profile imageAUTHOR

      Selina Kyle 

      6 years ago

      Thank you so much for the wonderful comment, savvydating! I definitely feel that I was being urged to write this, for sure. The Holy Spirit was and is guiding me :)

      I think I have heard of that book before but haven't read it. I will check it out! Thanks again for stopping by!!! :)

    • savvydating profile image


      6 years ago

      An excellent hub. I couldn't agree with you more. I do not think it is wrong to for Gays or Lesbian to marry - at all. What matters is that all couples, whether heterosexual or gay, choose to commit to an exclusive and loving union. I think that in speaking up, you were following the urging of the Holy Spirit.

      By the way, an excellent book to read on this topic is: Torn, by Justin Lee. He is a gay Christian who did some very fine research on the battle between Gays and Christians, and what we can do to help...

      Voting up and awesome.


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