Eric’s Sunday Sermon; The Family Issues

Let us just get this out of the way real quick. I have been absent for long times from my children while raising them. Not so much Gabe my youngest. One month in Asia and several in Mexico and on and on. Hang out in a fairly far away town for a murder trial and those weekend trips home are great.

Back off Jack!! Actually I seem to recall that comes from way back – don’t know now. It meant in my day to get out of my way or in 4-12 seconds you would have a black eye. (Though I might have two and broken nose in the end;-)

Where did “I got your 6” come from? It should always be “I got your back bro”. And that launches into a intriguing exploration of “what is family?” Now the truth is that I am youngest of six children. But in fact I was youngest of seven until about 1965. Sophie was older than me by a few years. Sophie was all in on family. Yes Sophie is/was a dog. A wonderful huge Dachshund. She went after a rattlesnake too close to me one time. Dad had a syringe with stuff in it. (He was a doctor) Holding Sophie I could see the worry in my Dad’s eyes and he injected her. I often wonder if my elder sister Sophie is out there watching over me. Of course dad saved her and she saved me. Of course that is family.

Our home is fully interrupted. My middle son just came home. He is here for a professional Table Tennis invitational tournament. Oh my everything is being disrupted. Well he is not my “real” son. But yet for sure he is. From over Asia way they shipped him to me. Strange how that worked, he is my wife’s nephew and now my son. Some figured I could get him out of a super shy mode with lack of confidence and get him through a degree program.

Wow we had some knock down drag out fights. It was a journey to be shared for 6 years. How fantastic and how family. And how proud I am of him. A very fine man. Sometimes we do not really communicate or get together for a few months. This morning we hugged so tight that we ended wrestling on the floor – but quit quickly as I am old and we could not risk injury before his matches today.

I am adopted. I kind of figure that since that guy who ended up Mary’s husband named Joseph and by their son’s death we are all adopted. If God can adopt a wretch like me well I can adopt whoever the hell I want.

My elder son had lunch with the daughter of another daughter I adopted up in San Fran way just yesterday. Isn’t Mary Jane a great name? I knew her namesake well. Really we would count blades of grass together for an hour. She was a serious Schizophrenic that her family, my inlaws did not get. One time we dabbled our toes in a lake on the dock. We decided that ripples were not caused by our toes but toes caused by our ripples. When she killed herself she called right before and asked for permission. Is that a sister I wonder? Never questioned that ideal. I told her I would hate her forever if she did and that forever would last about a day. My eulogy for her sucked. You cannot relate to normal what is not normal. No Judgment in my heart, just heartache.

OH! Pardon. My best cousin died pretty much the same. OK he was not really my cousin, we just grew up that way on campouts and horse riding and fruit picking. Sure some lettuce and trout fishing also. He just grew oh so tired. God has not told me to rate best friends so I will leave that alone. He and I went down into the pool to see who could hold their breath the longest. We both always won. His last time I reckon he wanted to lose.

Now I heard real serious that certain “races” of people’s men leave their families regularly. My children all know that there is no such thing as race. It is just fun cultural thing for diversity. I think my elders love my younger even more because he is mixed race. And Gabe and I don’t even grasp what that means except for fun. The poor little guy is being taught Vietnamese and is comfortable to a degree with Spanglish and a bit French. He is asking questions about me being brought up with Navajo and Hopi. Can race determine family?

Don’t even answer, the only race here is who gets to the toilet faster and that is nada, the winner just goes out in the garden. Maybe men are different races than women? For sure I am a different race than an ugly old pig. Tell me that is true please, of course I love a big pig but I don’t want to be one.

We spill who we are as writers. Perhaps Our hearts even bleed. Do not get up tomorrow unless you are ready to do it.

Family. How fun and terrible is that. Family is like drawing 3’s at the poker table. Not good until you get four of a kind. And then put all the love/money on the table and call the hand. Your wife will look at you strange and take all your money won. A new bike and a new dress?. For me a notel on the top of a mountain going full light and drinking in dirt. I reckon my lady has to put up with family. Some of my buddies use tents when hiking. How can you taste the sand? Plus do you really want to be all stuck up with your stinking self? But that family invites you in during a hard downpour. I think I get hiking with each other for over 40 years.

Now the hammer at 9 comes down “Son can you call a clearly dumb person dumb” “No Dad that would be horrible and I would be called a bully”. “Right on the money kid, so right and so sensitive and ‘correct’. Now do you get called names for being so smart and getting great grades? “You know I do dad”. “Is that OK by your school code of conduct?” “I don’t know dad”. “So son it is alright to be beaten up and ridiculed because you are smart but not OK if you are dumb?” “That reminds me of the stories Betty tells.” And Betty is a fine spirit and a good lady who taught hard knocked down kids for over thirty years. “She used to be your mom right Dad?” “Funny that and kind of yes, she is your big brothers and sisters mom”. We Love Betty. But she can’t surf hihihi. (No really that is funny in a good way wives are mothers) Stay focused boy. You know I come around the back door and bite your ass if you do not stay focused on the ball”. And I will. (now understand that to mean that at 10:05 am I can posit a concept and after 1 hour come back around to what my point was. Makes people crazy. I have slept through at least ten of my hour long lectures)

Why!? Keeping your eye on the ball with family is critical. You do not get to raise children yesterday or tomorrow you must do it now.

Hey you guys don’t get to love or hate me yesterday or tomorrow. You best do it now.

“Love The One You Are With”. I used to think of that as a sex justification. Perhaps it was. But then I grew a bit and say it for family. Oh the wonderful people who have loved me simply because I was with them!