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Facing the Terror and Threat of Change!
Ah...change...let me off...
We get use to experiencing someone a certain way – use to “seeing” them behave in a certain manner. However, we must let them change, in fact there is not a whole lot we can do if the other person is intent on change. But there is a tremendous amount we can do to either hinder or help the change that their change is affecting in us. Yes change, no matter where it originates from, will causes ‘change’ in us, in me. And often we don’t like or are comfortable with outside influenced change.
Change is frightening and sometimes downright dangerous until it’s complete work is done. It’s this aspect of change that frightens so many. The unknown, the vulnerability, the struggle that accompanies change. The confusion that will so often creep up on us when we can’t see the end from the beginning.
Seasons of Change
No matter how we look at change or try to redefine it…it still comes up as change. The
thesaurus gives us these alternative titles to this frightening event: Alter, modify, vary, transform, convert; renovate, revolutionize, adjust, amend, revise, rework, conform which equals = match; agree with; correspond; fit; be consistent with; coincide; match up; measure up. No matter how you look at it…it’s change…and no matter how anticipated the change is it brings in the unknowns and thereby fear.God gave us a number of examples in nature that shows how He looks after all His creatures as He has placed change into their life
-a snake shedding it’s skin
-a crab shedding its shell
-a deer losing its antlers
It’s a struggle as skins, antlers, or shells are shed and replaced with a new one. But without the struggle the old one cannot be lost or shed. If the old is not discarded the new cannot grow in it’s place. Often the new must be “hardened” which can only be accomplished by time. But this vulnerable process is necessary so that the skins, antlers, or shells are able to do it’s job of protection, defense and/or housing.
Each one signifies change and/or growth. With each loss we “look” different – its aspect this that challenges us when it happens to others or challenges others when it happens to us.
We want things to be the same…I’m used to it this way; I’m used to you this way – I’ve already developed my coping mechanisms!
Do I love enough to fully, gratefully embrace the change in another even when it demands we change?
It’s one thing to “want” change for another…and then to actually begin to see it, and experience it…it may not look or feel like what we expected!
Do we take the place of God and try to control or manipulate the change in another to suit us – our comfort level or pride?
Maybe as God is changing them, He is incorporating a change in me along with it?
Am I willing…
Everything is deeper than what it seems…
Everything has ripple effects…
Everything has roots, arms, tentacles which reach farther than we ever imagined; even into generations beyond us.
Do I trust God with your change? With my change?
Will I let you change…
Will I learn alongside of you although its you and not me…
Will I stand with you and/or support you even though I do not understand the process or the change or foresee its ramifications? Even though it’s not what “I” expected?
I liked your “horns/shell/skin”
I was use to them
Yes, they often got in the way and were nuisance
But, we adjusted
Now, they are gone
You look different
You act different
“I” don’t like it
It comes back to pride. Wanting to control the circumstances, the people, situations around us – so we are comfortable – regardless of the “good” this change will or may be for or in another. This is NOT love.For a snake, a crab – with the loss of their skin/shell comes a vulnerable season – a soft shell season – they need to be in a safe place – a place of acceptance and shelter until they get “hardened” again or grow into their shell, antler or skin, whatever it is. Are we friend or foe? It’s called grace. What happens when our spouse does start walking in their God given role – the very thing we have been praying about – and now it’s finally happening!!! But hold it…it doesn’t “feel” the way I expected…all of a sudden I have to let go of some control, or some mind sets…all of a sudden the spouse “acts” different…Now I have a choice…let them be different and grow into/with the change…or hinder, satisfy my comfort level. It’s a ripple effect…change demands change demands change…no matter what…
A person “thinks” they are staying the same but they are not…
Nothing – stays the same…except God!
Because…He is already perfect…He cannot be anymore perfect…there is no need for growth…so…in Him I am perfect…BUT in myself will always be change for better or worse…
What do I want…and if I want godly, holy change for me…will I accept it and even desire it…embrace it in all its upheavals…in another?