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Finding Comfort When Losing a Parent

Updated on August 30, 2012

Coping With Grief

Seeing dealth at the end of life is like seeing the horizon at the end of the ocean      -David Searls
Seeing dealth at the end of life is like seeing the horizon at the end of the ocean -David Searls | Source

The most devastating day of my life is when my mother passed away on July 18, 2008. I never felt hurt and pain at such a deep level that words could not explain the over whelming feeling of shock, disbelief and numbness from the loss of my mother. I described my mother as the Queen Bee. She was the one who nurtured her flock, gave us guides before we went out into the world and love us all unconditionally. All that is left now is her foot prints in the sand where she once walks.

There is now an empty space where before there was a living human. We have to learn to adjust to life now without that person. So what do we do? I found comfort when I talked about my loss to close friends and family. We talk about all the good and positive things about her life. Each time I would talk about her I felt very comfortable about my loss and it allowed me to release a lot of emotional feelings. Even now as I write this article about her, I feel at peace.

People never get over loss, they just get used to it. It's ok to grieve, that's all part of the healing process. Crying serves as an emotional release as well. It’s good to know that recovery is possible. However it may take some time. Just as a severe physical wound would take to heal, so it is with bereavement. It may take months, a few years or even longer to recover from grief. The acute pain in the beginning you felt will lesson in time and life will gradually seem less meaningless.

Writing also helps me to release feelings. I took on an attitude of gratitude which gave me a total different out look on life and my expectations. I express how grateful I was to have had my mother in my life to the time she left this earth.

You can also find comfort in the scriptures, because God is the God of all comfort.

Psalms 34:28 - "Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves".

James 4:8 - "Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you." One of the principle ways to draw close to God is through Prayer.

2 Corinthians 1:4 - “(God) comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those in any sort of tribulation through the comfort with which we ourselves are being comforted by god.


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    • catmalone profile imageAUTHOR

      catmalone 

      5 years ago

      You’re so right Au Fait, footprints on the heart will live with me the rest of my life. Thanks for your comment!

      I like to also thank you for looking out. I didn’t realize that all my hubs weren’t showing. I will definitely take care of that and make some changes. Your recommendation is appreciated.

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 

      5 years ago from North Texas

      Don't forget you mother's footprints on your heart and that fact that she will live on there in your heart for as long as you live. My own mother died when I was just 18 and she was the best friend I ever had in the world.

      Beyond this specific article, may I make a recommendation to you? I note that you have published 31 hubs, yet only a very few are visible and available here on your profile page to be read.

      To correct that, go to your profile page. Click on "Edit Profile." Go to almost the bottom of that page where it says "Show only Featured Hubs on my profile:" Click on the 'NO' box and then all of your hubs will be visible again on your profile page.

      I realize they have been idled, which is why they aren't showing, but that's no reason not to make them available for readers interested in them. After all your work of writing them, let people who wish to read them do so. The advertising remains on them, so benefit all you can from them even though they are not currently indexed by Google.

      It has been my experience that some of my hubs go in and out of idleness in streaks as they become popular for a while and then not again. Back and forth, back and forth.

      The reason they are idled is because they do not get enough traffic. It isn't because they are defective. While it never hurts to edit and edit one's work for spelling and grammar errors, etc. (one's own eyes never seem able to find them all, but going over it again and again is helpful), the main thing is to use words in your title that someone might use if they were searching for information like the info in that specific hub. Ask yourself what words would you use if you were searching for this info. Use those words in your title.

      Snappy titles look great on the news stand and on a magazine you have just purchased, but people using the Google search box aren't going to try to think those up when they're searching for your information. So what I'm saying here is that titles matter for search purposes. Changing the title to reflect the contents of the hub may affect the popularity of the hub, because the main reason a hub gets idled is because of little or no traffic.

      Otherwise do everything you can to get your hubs traffic. Promote your hubs whenever you get the opportunity, but also make them available to people who visit your profile. I visit people's profiles all the time looking for a hub that interests me. It's my way of saying thank you for taking time to read and comment on my hub. I realize that when someone comments, or especially if they share one of my hubs with their followers, that hub gets exposure and it may be just what is needed to make it successful.

      Wishing you great success!

    • catmalone profile imageAUTHOR

      catmalone 

      5 years ago

      Thanks Marieryan for your comment. Yes I do find a lot of comfort when I write or talk about my loss. Like you stated, we have to learn to manage our loss and cope with it in our dily lives.

    • marieryan profile image

      Marie Ryan 

      5 years ago from Andalusia, Spain

      You are very brave to write about such a personal sentiment ofgrief over a lost parent. It is such a relief that writing can really help, although this is grief that will never disappear. How can it? We have to learn to manage it and cope with it in our daily lives. Thanks for sharing this.

    • catmalone profile imageAUTHOR

      catmalone 

      5 years ago

      Thanks for your comment CrisSp. I hope to inspire and comfort many through their times of grievance. I'm glad you enjoyed this hub!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 

      5 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Sorry about your loss and thank you for sharing this hub with us. I'm sure it is of great benefit specially to those who are in the same grieving situation.

      I like your attitude in life...of being grateful. Keep it up!

      Love and light~

    • catmalone profile imageAUTHOR

      catmalone 

      6 years ago

      Thank you for your comment. I'm glad that you find this information comforting.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      6 years ago from USA

      Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life with us. Thank you for giving us hope that the loss of a loved one gets easier over time. And, thank you for the scriptures that can be referred to time and time again when we just need to hear those comforting words to help us get through the day.

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