Grandma was a Holy Roller

My grandma died with leukemia in 2002. I had moved the year before to help my parents take care of her......me and my 2 small girls. I felt so blessed to be with her as I had lived hours away for 20 years prior.

In my younger years she held 2 to 3 jobs and never missed church. She baked cakes for the small town of which we resided and They were delicious. She talked to me about God any time I wanted....and at times I would wake her up at 2 am...and say "grandma ...I don't know if I would believe in God" I only did this to hear her speak again and pull out the bible and read once more. I was a mess !!

This is what I know about grandma.......that makes me sad and proud at the same time. She was given away to her grandparents at age 5, as her mom remarried a man with 6 children of his own. Her mom had 6 children as well. They kept all his children, male and female and gave her and her sister away , and kept the boys. They felt assured the guys could pull their weight in the fields when cropping was to be done.

My grandma's old grandparents were failing in health, and she was there doing the laundry (with a wash board and a river near by) and cooking for them all by age 6. They continued to become sicker and she was only able to go to school up to second grade. She was in and out until 5th grade For they wanted her to attend when she wasn't needed at home. However by now they had both passed away and she went to live a life that I can only imagine.

She stayed on peoples porches and picked daisys and whatever she could find to eat. I realize it was the depression era....but whosoever have a porch...should have a warm floor to let her lay upon too.....and to eat what whats served at the table....at least a little.

She basically taught herself to read, as she wasn't really in school enough to learn much. She held her bible close and made it her responsibilty to learn it. She taught herself to cook and deal with money matters. She worked several jobs until 75 years of age.

Some people called her a Holy Roller...even some family members....I still do not know what it means.....but it can't be all bad...she was one tough cookie and she continued to visit her mom ...even in my teens....she would want me to go. I refused......as I could not imagine what a monster would have given up her  baby girls for some man that would keep his girls and raise them with no real values. His children turned into drunks and low lifes and grandma's mom stayed there and endured. I guess I just answered my own questions...as I sit her thinking and writing.

My grandma must have been better off to have been nurturing her grandparents and to learn a hards days work and to teach herself how to do many things for herself. She never seemed bitter and always would speak of Gods word and commandments.

I always wondered how she must have felt as a thrown away child and to be a slave to others for a mere 2 by 4 to sleep on. How it must have been difficult to find peace in her heart for those that had forsaken her. However as I have seen...things do happen for a reason and if we let God in our heart...we can overcome all that comes our way. She was an amazing witness for God and I feel her blessing are 100 fold now.

Her mom died at 96 and I even as a young adult refused to visit her before her death or to go to a funeral ...which I don't really believe in such anyway. Her weight and age were the same and she looked like the frail soft spoken lady that she was. When I was a teen and even now...I see no reason for a mom not to stand tall for her children and to fight for their needs.

As I finish here........I may have soften to Grandma Dawson too.......she was not the best mom......or christian I gather.....but she saved my grandma from being the losers the other children left there became. My grandma and her baby sister (only 3 when given away) became soldiers for God and had jobs that paid the bills and kept food (not daisys....albiet pretty) on the table ..everyday.

We all have flaws and are human.......but my grandma...the pentecostal Holy roller that she was.........made a believer out of me............that with hard work ethics and God by our side....we will have what we need.......cause God says so............she would say....

love you grandma

Mia