- Religion and Philosophy
Humorous incidents from above that make your heart merry
All scripture has divine origin and should not be taken in jest. This is due to the potency with which the word of God impacts upon the human mind, soul and spirit. Many are the times I have spoken the word humorously with a smile and occasional laughter, only to be shocked at the end result, as the reaper passes through the audience with his scythe harvesting heirs to the kingdom. This happened so often that I had to learn to take my utterances seriously.
One serious lesson I learnt was that “By the word were all things created”. Despite all this, scripture carries a brand of humour that few are able to see. When I was still young in the kingdom, I could not help smiling at proceedings relayed to congregations during biblical teachings. These teachings still sound humorous to my ear. They still make me smile when I chance to hear them today, anywhere, anytime. Not that I can help it. Rather, it is the way the ear catches them. I have just sampled a few below, especially when phrased the King James way. No biblical version captures the humour more vividly than the King James Version. Some humour has been captured below and relayed verbatim from KJV. I hope it blesses you as it has done to me.
· Genesis 18:11-15, 21:6 Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also? And the LORD said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old? Is anything too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son. Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh. And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me. (Hey, didn’t you know I am past that stage)
· Exodus 7:11-12 Then Pharaoh also called the wise men and the sorcerers: now the magicians of Egypt, they also did in like manner with their enchantments. For they cast down every man his rod, and they became serpents: but Aaron's rod swallowed up their rods. (Talk of a greater snake)
· 2Samuel 6:11 And the ark of the LORD continued in the house of Obededom the Gittite three months: and the LORD blessed Obededom, and all his household. (Just the presence alone is enough to enrich the environs).
· 1Kings 17:13 And Elijah said unto her, Fear not; go and do as thou hast said: but make me thereof a little cake first, and bring it unto me and after make for thee and for thy son. (Note that I am more hungry)
· 2Kings 5:9-12 So Naaman came with his horses and with his chariot, and stood at the door of the house of Elisha. And Elisha sent a messenger unto him, saying, Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean. But Naaman was wroth, and went away, and said, Behold, I thought, He will surely come out to me, and stand, and call on the name of the LORD his God, and strike his hand over the place, and recover the leper. Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? may I not wash in them, and be clean? So he turned and went away in a rage. (Casting alien authority in murky waters)
His Creation in His hand
More Heavenly Jokes
· Daniel 3:16-22 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. Then was Nebuchadnezzar full of fury, and the form of his visage was changed against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: therefore he spake, and commanded that they should heat the furnace one seven times more than it was wont to be heated. And he commanded the most mighty men that were in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and to cast them into the burning fiery furnace. Therefore because the king's commandment was urgent, and the furnace exceeding hot, the flame of the fire slew those men that took up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. (Hey, remember you lit the fire)
· Acts 19:14-17 And there were seven sons of one Sceva, a Jew, and chief of the priests, which did so. And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are ye? And the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, and overcame them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded. And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified. (By whose authority can you cast us out? The Jesus that Paul preaches is in Paul, not you)
· Acts 3:6 Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. (Hold it. You don’t need the money. I know exactly what you need)
Breaking the Ten Commandments: Did you know that Moses was the only man who broke ALL the Ten commandments in front of God and got away with it? The stone tablets contained all the commandments.
(The only thing he missed was getting into the promised land - How dare you break all the ten when they should be kept?)
He holds the world in His hands: If God holds the whole world in his hand, how small could it be to him and how big could his hand be from our perspective? He must be a big, big, big God. Now, compare your hand with His. Any comparison?
The Jesus lizard – Basilisk Water - Walking Lizard
More divine jokes from above
· John 4:9-12 Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans. Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water? Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle? (Hello, you don’t even have an urn with which to draw Jacob’s water. The H2O of life)
· Acts 8:38-39 And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him. And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing. (Talk of Supernatural Transport).
· Luke 9:28-33 And it came to pass about an eight days after these sayings, he took Peter and John and James, and went up into a mountain to pray. And as he prayed, the fashion of his countenance was altered, and his raiment was white and glistering. And, behold, there talked with him two men, which were Moses and Elias: Who appeared in glory, and spake of his decease which he should accomplish at Jerusalem. But Peter and they that were with him were heavy with sleep: and when they were awake, they saw his glory, and the two men that stood with him. And it came to pass, as they departed from him, Peter said unto Jesus, Master, it is good for us to be here: and let us make three tabernacles; one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias: not knowing what he said. (Goodies from above. Too good to let go)
· Revelation 21:21 And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass. (Up there, our precious gold replaces tarmac. There must be that, which is more precious than gold)
· Psalms 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. (Laughter from heaven)
· There are only three occasions that have been documented as evidence of man walking on water. The first instance is that of Jesus, followed by the second one involving Peter on the same day (Mt 14:25-29). Both Jesus and Peter are long gone with this miracle that was documented more than eight thousand years ago. However, the third incident involves a tiny friend who is still walking on water even today. Welcome to the Jesus lizard –Basilisk (Thus named for walking or running on water). Quite amusing for the creator to leave us one lizard that reminds us of a walk we are yet to accomplish. My laughter has never ceased ever since I first saw this funny little reptile. By whose power does he walk on water? While man needs a miracle to walk on water, this tiny lizard's water walk is more natural than miraculous. Trust God to use tiny insignificant things to confound man's supposedly stable wisdom. See the YouTube video below by National Geographic;
Why wouldn’t I smile after reading these writings? Any more biblical humour out there that makes you smile while reading or listening to scripture?
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