I will never be the same

 When it comes to dieing really for the believers in Christ there is no death, we live on in heaven. Our spirit leaves this human body and lives in eternity in heaven with Christ. I have had many years of thinking and knowing that one day death will be knocking at my door or I would one day be rapture and taken to heaven with all the Christians and forever rejoice. But while I was young I was praying that none of that would happen until i was married...then it was not until I have kids...now grand babes to which I have all desires fullfilled still waiting for more grand babes...it just keeps going and going. Just like all parents our concerns are, "will my kids be ready. So we just want God to hold off with death or the rapture until WE are ready.

I hear people talk about the excitement they get when they think about going to heaven or they cant wait for the rapture, I so much want that same feeling. But time and time again my fears of the souls that I love that are not ready and I so want them to be ready keeps me from saying those same thing with excitement.

Am I ready if God was to call me home? Yes I am. I do know that this life only last for a season and thats okay with me. I do want to walk those streets of gold, I do want to see Jesus and sit on his lap, and I think of who is the first person from the bible that I want to talk to, meeting up with reletives and freinds that has passed on before me. Yes I want all the above. But still there has been this space in my heart that says, "But not now, wait a little longer" Maybe I'm the only one that thinks this who knows.

March 31, 2011 has been an eye awakening experience, life changing. My father went home to be with the Lord and we rejoice because that is what he would want us to do. He has no more heart disease, he is in no more pain, no arthritis, someone at the memorial service (I'm sure it was my brother) said "he is probably taller" my father was a short man. If he isen't taller i'm sure he is walking tall. He is in deed in a better place.

My father was sound in his salvation. He knew he was going to heaven when he died and he was ready when God would call him home. My mother shared some last words that was spoken between the two of them that gives my heart sadness but at the same time comfort that my dad was okay with death because he knew where he would wake up at. Having peace of mind makes this journey different. Before this time in the hospital my mother asked my father if he was scared about dieing and he told her no, he had peace about it. Praise God for preparing the hearts of the individuals that he is about to call home, and the peace that he gives that the world can not give.

While laying in the hospital bed still able to talk and knowing his surroundings he looked up at mom and said "well I don't think I'm gonna make it." my mother looked at dad and says "It's okay Bill I'm with you." and then told each other they loved him/her. They both were okay with that because they know they will meet again in heaven. We rejoice. PRAISE GOD!!

As I sit back and listen to mom tell me about my fathers last day and so wished I could of made it on time to tell him good bye and I loved him, it was not in Gods plans, but thats okay too, becsue I too will see him again in heaven. And that gives me that excitment that I have longed for all my life. I now can say "I can't wait to get to heaven to see my daddy" and most of all to see my Jesus.

Mom also shared with me my fathers last 3 out hails (the releasing of the spirit, going to heaven i believe,) due to there were no in-hails, lungs completely letting out all the air. Mom raises her hands tilts her head back and says with rejoicing in her voice, and tears in her eyes, "YOU MADE IT BILL YOU MADE IT!!" THAT... is being there till the end, THAT... is knowing in confidence where your loved one is headed to. THAT....my dear friends and family is God.

Again for me this has been life changing. I can't wait to get to heaven.