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Applying My Heart to understanding: The Christian View of the Family

Updated on October 24, 2012

The Two Shall Become One

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:4-6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:4-6

The Christian Family

Proverbs 2:2

So that you incline your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding;

When people think of a family, the picture that comes to mind is a father, mother, and children. What if I were to tell you that a family does not have to include Children. Consider, that the Jones became the Jones family the moment they said I do, they did not wait until they had children. Also, They will remain the Jones family long after their children are gone. Many people make the mistake of thinking that they must have children to have a true family. According to this mind set , If the Jones were unable to produce offspring they would never become a family.

In my view, children are additions to an already established family, not what define it. We have to be careful not to communicate to our children that the family exists because of them. They exist because of the family. By placing the emphasis on the husband/wife relationship we are communicating proper order. It also expresses the importance of maintaining a strong marriage. The stability and strength of the family with children is in the strength of the husband/wife relationship.

Scripture calls the husband/wife union “One Flesh.” The two become one, a complete whole. In the same way, it is vital for us to see a complete family in the absence of children, if we wish to keep a family with children together.

Our spouse is our most important relationship aside from Christ. They come before the Church, a job, parents, and yes, before children. Maintaining relationship with her/him is our most important priority.

This concept is foundational to the home and crucial for the church as well. I realize this is a bit unusual, combining marriage and church into one image, but I believe it defines who we are in Christ. We are his family; one flesh with Christ. It is through the role of the wife that we the Church understand our role in the kingdom of God. We are the Bride of Christ.

The Family Is A Tangible Representation Of The Kingdom Of God

Ephesians 5:31-33.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: But I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

I heard it said one time that as the family goes, so goes the church, in turn, so goes society. The proverb speaks to the idea that the state of the family, good or bad, affects the church, which in turn, has an affect on society. Those who are attacking the family have lost a fundamental understanding of how it affects society. The family is a part of society's foundation. If the family crumbles, so will society as a whole.

In light of this, I found it interesting to learn that the family was the first institution that God established. It was set in place the very moment Eve was created and was the very first form of Government that Humanity ever knew. It is, and was, the very foundation of every society on earth. It survived through the ages and became the blueprint for the Christian church. Why? I believe it is because the family, as God established it, teaches humanity, God’s Government. The Christian family and the Christian church are both pictures of God’s kingdom on earth.

Consider the following:

• Just as Christ is the head of the church, the husband is the head of the family.
• Because the church loves her husband (Jesus Christ) she willingly and voluntarily yields her will to Him, so it is with the Christian wife to her husband. This yielding is not demanded nor required, it is her gift to her husband because she loves him.
• In turn the husband loves his wife and gives himself for her until death. Just as Christ did when he gave his life on the cross for the church.
• Just as the church, through Christ, look to God to supply all its needs. The wife looks to her husband to be the provider. The husband, in turn, looks to God to provide him with everything he needs to provide for his family
• Just as there is only one God, and only one way by which we can be saved. Just as God’s covenant to us is unbreakable and eternal. We teach that marriage is a life long covenant and that we should only have one Husband and one Wife. We hate divorce and we are not polygamists.
• Just as the church’s identity is in found in Christ. We teach that the two, husband and wife, are one flesh, The Christian wife lays aside her maiden name and assumes her husbands last name. Not only does this illustrate the “one flesh” in the marriage union it also represents the new life and identity we have in Christ.
• Just as Christ and his bride are both submitted to the will of God, the Christian husband and his wife are both submitted as one to God through Christ. They make his wishes their wishes.

Like the Christian Church, God uses the Christian Family, in any given society, as a visible and tangible representation of his Kingdom. It is a microcosm of the Bride of Christ. In it, He teaches us authority, submission, love, responsibility, mercy, compassion, repentance, forgiveness…….. Every character quality ever known, good and bad, can be seen exampled and repaired, if need be, within the family. That is, the family as God established it. I see the Christian family as our training ground to serve each other, but more importantly, it teaches us how to serve our Lord Jesus Christ. Is it any wonder that those who wish to erase God from our society would want to “redefine” the family? I believe this is because both the Christian Church and the traditional Christian Family remind the world of God.

Cause And Effect

Next, I would like to talk a bit about the pressure that society is bringing to bear on the Christian family. Now, more then ever, it is crucial for the husband and wife to understand their roles within the marriage so they can each strengthen those areas that are under attack.

I see it everywhere I go more and more, atheistic philosophies and mindsets that are gaining in popularity. Gay marriage, family planning, from the evening news, to the Classroom. Faith in the God is considered naive.

As society’s faith in God diminishes, people turn less to Him in their time of need and more to their Government. The effect of this is, government being forced to become more socialistic in nature. In turn, this gives our Government more control over our lives. Slavery results. The more we depend on our government for our daily needs, the more it takes from us in liberties and taxes.

Rejecting God always results in slavery! When Israel demanded their first king, it was in the hope that he would save them from their enemies. (1 Sam 8) Samuel took this demand personal. He thought they were rejecting him. However, it was made clear that Israel was rejecting God’s leadership not Samuel’s. The people of Israel were warned that what they were asking for was a type of slavery, for a king would take their first born sons for military purposes and they would be forces to pay taxes. They were no longer contented looking to God for their safety and provision.

All that to say when the people of America reject the things of God like the traditional family or the church. We shouldn’t take it personal. It’s not us that they are rejecting, it is God! I do ask that you not participate is this call for a king. Put your trust soundly in the Lord our God.

If You Love Me?

Our government is the product of the collective will of our society. America was originally set up with the idea that government needs to be as small as possible. At the time, the majority of it citizens were God fearing even if they were not Christians. The idea was that “We The People, “ could rule ourselves. Government by the people for the people. This was great and worked fine so long as “The people recognized that they themselves were accountable to God and conducted themselves as if God was watching. As our nation turns its back on God, its conscience becomes self-serving. It loses its fear (Yaw-ray’-Respect based on love) of God and more regulations are needed to control the people. Then the Government begins to grow. More regulations mean more control and more taxes

Jesus said, “ if you love me, you will obey my commands.” Governments say, “If you fear (Phobos-fear of discipline) me, you will obey my commands.” As a result it rules by fear of reproof. “We The People” are trading the freedom to serve for the demand to serve. By rejecting Christ, His church and the traditional family, our nation is trading a loving husband for a task master. Love casts off fear. Love rejected will be replaced by slavery.

What does all this have to do with the family? Socialistic governments reduce its people down to working units. Your labor must contribute to the greater good. The government takes part of the wages you earn and “spreads it around” to all its members. The theory is, the more workers you have the more “wealth” there is to “spread around”. This sounds great except  Christians teach that it is the role of the wife to stay at home and raise our children. We don’t encourage our married women to work outside the home until our children are older. Why is this a problem? Socialism can’t afford to have the majority of its female population at home raising children it would reduce the work force.

Now I must say right up front, nether I, nor scripture, has a problem with women working outside the home. The problem arises when they neglect their families to do so. Over the last 75 years the number of women leaving the home to pursue careers has steadily increased while the “stay-at-home-Mom” is declining. As a result the divorce rate began to climb. 30 years ago the majority of American families were intact. Today Intact families are among the minority. I do not believe all this was an accident. The atheistic, anti Christian, pro-government special interest groups have been very successful at changing the face of our society. By planting seeds of discontent, they caused wives to despise their role in the family and their husband’s leadership. They promoted Ideals that attacked a woman’s love and devotion to her husband and children. The American woman today is torn between family and career. Christ said that a man can not serve two masters!

In closing , I am calling Christian America to return to the traditional family model. Do not look to Government to supply all your needs. Put your faith to work and look to God!

If you are a husband, love your wife as Christ loved the church! If you are willing to die for her, then surely you are willing to provide for her. She needs you to approve of her, to encourage her and to make her feel safe and secure. The role she plays in the home is vital to your well being and the security of the children. Let her know she is valued and important. Show her that you couldn't do it with out her. Show her you love her by you actions and deeds.

If you are a wife, honor and respect your husband, allow his provision to be enough. Help where you can. Most of all encourage him; tell him he is doing a good job! Listen to him. Follow his lead as unto the Lord. If your children see you do this, they will follow you.

Take time to get away by yourselves. Determine to put the stress away for a while and find stuff to laugh at, go on walks, go for drives. Remember that intimacy is fun, and is not always physical. Enjoy each other. As you build each other up you are strengthening your family.

What I ask may be difficult for some depending on you circumstances. Serving God is not always easy, but it does have its rewards. A happy family is one of them.

In Christ



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    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Im single and never been married. But I unerstand your point and consider your point to be true. I agree that families come in all shapes and forms. And I do think a husband and a wife is a family wherther they have children or not. I know many friends who conider not to have childen and just be with their spouse's and their pets. And I see nothing wrong with! Thank you for the beautiful, smart, an very useful blog!!! Great job!!!

    • Abrushing1968 profile imageAUTHOR

      Aaron Rushing 

      11 years ago from USA- Florida

      Thanks Eastspeaks I love your imagery "unveiling the mystery of marriage" That's wonderful. It is a shame that it has become a mystery.

      God Bless


    • easyspeak profile image


      11 years ago from Vancouver

      You unveiled the mystery of marriage wonderfully. Strong families will build strong Church and a strong Kingdom.

      God bless,


    • Abrushing1968 profile imageAUTHOR

      Aaron Rushing 

      11 years ago from USA- Florida

      Thanks Love Bugs I am grateful that you took the time to read and comment on this rather verbose hub. I am so glad you agree.

      In Christ


    • Love Bugs profile image

      Love Bugs 

      11 years ago from Wherever my laptop is.

      This is going to be a disappointingly short comment, I'm sure; but I wanted to say I agree with your stance that a family does not have to include kids. You start a new family when you leave the house (or whatever other situation) that supported your childhood and you embark on a lifelong journey aside someone else. Commitment, covenant, love. You don't have to have kids for that.


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