- Religion and Philosophy
Do Christians Have a Higher Divorce Rate Than Non Believers?
Marriage Facts that effect happiness and longevity.
Some of these facts may seem bizzare but knowing them may help us understand the difference between men and women. We all agree time so changed, however what small details are hidden to us that are actually damaging our relationship?
- Sharing housework increases your likelihood to divorce by 50%!
- Husbands who have a close relationship with their in-laws are 20% LESS likely to divorce. 4
- Wives who have a close relationship with their in-laws are 20% MORE likely to divorce! 4
- Cold feet - When a wife has doubts before her marriage there is a significant increase in divorce, when a husband has doubts about the marriage there is no increase in divorce rate at all! 5
- Living together while engaged does not affect divorce rate - however living together when not engaged does increase the divorce rate! 6
- Wives who work AT ALL increases the divorce rate. In a troubled marriage. For every 12 minutes a wife works the divorce rate increases by 1%.7
- A Christian that divorces is 7 times most likely to divorce two or more times however, non-Christian couples are not only more likely to sustain for life, however if a divorce does happen between non-Christians the second marriage has a MUCH higher chance of working out.
What are your thoughts on the elements, environments or differences between men and women that cause these bizarre findings? The conclusion you come to may be the largest factor in play when it comes to your marital success! A short series of questions answered by 19-22 year old woman can predict if the marriage will last less than 8 years with an accuracy of 88%. And this is before BEFORE they have even met.1
What are your Responsibilities as a Christian in a marriage and How to Apply Them
Less and less people are choosing to get married and instead choosing to be life partners! Lets hear your opinion on why and if your religious beliefs really effect your marriages long term success.
P+C=E - Is this the solution for your marriage? The marriages that last suggest it is true!
Yep thats right, a simple equation could be the key not only a marriage that lasts but a happy marriage. With most of us very familiar with the statistics that up to 50-60% of all marriages today will end up in divorce it seems that fewer couples are even getting married and those who do still seem to have similar odds of success, or lack of we might say!1
With the statistics of marriage success or failure being well known we must assume that more couples are receiving pre-marital counsel, marriage counseling, reading self help books and focusing on the solutions that are common practice to keep the union together.
If this is the case, then why aren't divorces reducing? Some suggest that Christians are ñow viewing marriage as a breakable contract instead of the "till death do us part" covenant that the Bible says. compassion and respect (resolving conflict) are the keys to marital success right? These are all very important critical issues that counselors focus on and marital couples list as the most important issues. Counseling does help couples work out their relationship however even when couples is 44% likely anyone polled say that over 44% of couples receive proper counseling there is still a 44% chance of separation.3 How do we make since of this and what does lead to not only a lower divorce rate but a happier one?
The Most Important Equation Ever! P+C=E
Look at the following image.
Where does your spare time go?
Which one would most likely resemble your spare time together?
Is there an equation that predicts marriage outcomes?
Where are you at today in your relationship with your spouse, fiance or BF/GF? After the 7 year mark most couples begin to encounter severe stagnation even when communication and compromise are good. Where does this stagnation come from and how is it the greatest impact on your marriage?
We know that the root of all conflict comes from some kind of self gratification. This is a very broad term but at some level we find it to be true with all conflict. One person has to oppose the actions, thinking, or behaviour of another individual or evaluate their characteristic differences between the two for conflict to exist. This doesn't necessarily require one person to think better of themselves than they other person, however this is very common. Maybe a negative self image and you believe thats the result of your spouse's perspective of you possibly thinking they are responsible for your own self worth.
What's the Secret to Happy Marriages
Perspective + Circumstances = Experience
Self sacrifice can build contempt over time, but what is self sacrifice and how do you define it? When a spouse (Person 1) complains that their significant other is not recognizing their efforts to support, love or protect them (Person 2) the typical approach would be to counsel the couple (Person 2) to act with intention -communication and recognition. These are often short lived because the failure to recognize (affirm) their spouses good actions is apparently not apparent. equal because Person 1 need's for affirmation and the person 2 willingness, understanding of it or perspective is different and finds it WORK to talk up someone ALL day!.
However suggesting a new perspective is the more effective approach, for long term happiness. Your own your perspective, you, by yourself, with out any influences by others is the key for happiness and getting your spouse period. You and only you are responsible for your self worth, and you are worth believing that.
A change of perspective one needing the affirmation (Person 1) is the key to lasting change. If that person was asked "do you need your spouse to recognize your actions as loving to do something for them?" the answer is almost always no...., but!
Here we get to argument solutions about money - sex - anything.The conflict of loving someone BUT needing them to love THAT is explained in three factors at work are
- Actual perspective = I will do loving things for my spouse - even if they don't see it.
- Inbound perspective = The way we THINK the other person views us as.
- True perspective = Seeing your actions as loving and KNOWING that's awesome!
To apply this we have to know that there is a need for someone to see the benefit of letting it go and just knowing they are doing a loving thing, even in the face of adversity.
Delayed Gratification and rearranging our understanding of value is the key to long term success in marriages. Continue to love your love for them and reward will come, changing how you express yourself and displaying someone else completely.
Seize the opportunities to express your love for them in the ways THEY understand it, your pressure on your spouse and need for recognition reduces it or makes it not genuine and can have adverse consequences.
If you are having issues in your marriage I highlyrecommend the following video.
Also what are your thoughts about Christ and marriages?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/20/divorcecauses-_n_4304466.html5. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/justin-lavner/do-cold-feet-warn-of-mari_b_1910770.html6. 2006–2010 National Survey of Family Growth by Casey E. Copen, Ph.D.; Kimberly William D. Mosher, Ph.D., Division of Vital Statistics7. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2232318/Is-wife-working-late-It-sign-marriage-trouble.html#ixzz37orXwR5s