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Why Not Get Divorced?

Updated on June 22, 2012

Dearest Maggie,

My parents raised me to believe that divorce should only be an option in the case of abuse or adultery. I am now married and things have been rather difficult between me and my husband. I love him but I am unhappy. What does God really say about divorce or does He even care?



Dearest Trisha,

Well, I would say that you are dealing with more than one issue here. Is happiness a prerequisite for staying married? What does God think about divorce?

First, let’s address the issue of being happy … happiness is a temporal emotion that comes and goes. It is fleeting and extremely unreliable. I would tell you to strive for joy which is something that goes much deeper than happiness and isn’t moved by emotions. People will fail you so don’t make them responsible for your happiness … that includes your spouse. Being married has many challenges which you can overcome but the key to marriage is not happiness but commitment. Making the decision to stand in the midst of hurt feelings, disappointments, and unmet expectations will lead you to a place of great joy and a sense of accomplishment within your marital relationship. I encourage to discuss what you are feeling with your husband. I also highly recommend two books to you … Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas and One Flesh by Bob Yandian both of which delve a little more deeply into the many facets of marriage through the eyes of God.

Second, the Bible is very clear about what God thinks about divorce. In Malachi Chapter 3 the Word says … God hates divorce. It doesn’t get much clearer than that when you think about it.

Too many of our marriages are ending in divorce for no other reason than this … selfishness. We live in a world that cultivates the myth that everything should be easy but the fact is that anything worth having takes hard work, dedication, self sacrifice and commitment. Marriage isn’t easy but when you are willing to work at it … it can be the most fulfilling relationship you will ever experience.

May “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

In His Service!



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    • Bibowen profile image

      Bibowen 8 years ago

      All marriages have difficulties because they are made up of people. But the choice to stay "to death do us part" has its own reward. An important topic. Thanks for writing about it.

    • Precious Pearl profile image

      Precious Pearl 8 years ago

      Thank you to all of you for your comments. What a blessing to know that you are heard but more than that ...that God is heard through what you write. How AWESOME is Our God!

    • Gicky Soriano profile image

      Gicky Soriano 8 years ago from California

      We live in a time wherein people gravitate toward instant gratification and self-fulfillment. Within this context, all kinds of commitments and/or contracts easily crumble. The institution of marriage has suffered a great blow in this country. We come away with broken vows, homes, and children. The effects are destructive affecting many lives in the process. Restoration rather than separation is the road less taken. Thanks for your timely hub Precious Pearl. You have a fan. God bless you for the "courage" to speak your heart and stand by God's word.

    • Kebennett1 profile image

      Kebennett1 8 years ago from San Bernardino County, California

      PP That was absolutely wonderful! You are correct in what you say about marriage! I pray Trisha listens to you and that God will bless her marriage. Keep giving wonderful, scripturally accurate advise! And thank you for reading my Hubs!

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 8 years ago from Chicago

      Amen! Wonderful words. Marriage is about commitment not infatuation. The great payoff is at the end, not necessarily in day to day (temporal as you rightly say) "happiness." Thanks for a fine Hub. I enjoyed it.

    • Precious Pearl profile image

      Precious Pearl 8 years ago

      Thank you. I really appreciate your comments and encouragement.

    • Tigermadstanley profile image

      Amanda Davey 8 years ago from Canterbury, Kent, UK

      An interesting way to present a difficult topic. Thank you for taking the time to write this hub.