Why Not Get Divorced?
Dearest Maggie,
My parents raised me to believe that divorce should only be an option in the case of abuse or adultery. I am now married and things have been rather difficult between me and my husband. I love him but I am unhappy. What does God really say about divorce or does He even care?
Sincerely,
Trisha
Dearest Trisha,
Well, I would say that you are dealing with more than one issue here. Is happiness a prerequisite for staying married? What does God think about divorce?
First, let’s address the issue of being happy … happiness is a temporal emotion that comes and goes. It is fleeting and extremely unreliable. I would tell you to strive for joy which is something that goes much deeper than happiness and isn’t moved by emotions. People will fail you so don’t make them responsible for your happiness … that includes your spouse. Being married has many challenges which you can overcome but the key to marriage is not happiness but commitment. Making the decision to stand in the midst of hurt feelings, disappointments, and unmet expectations will lead you to a place of great joy and a sense of accomplishment within your marital relationship. I encourage to discuss what you are feeling with your husband. I also highly recommend two books to you … Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas and One Flesh by Bob Yandian both of which delve a little more deeply into the many facets of marriage through the eyes of God.
Second, the Bible is very clear about what God thinks about divorce. In Malachi Chapter 3 the Word says … God hates divorce. It doesn’t get much clearer than that when you think about it.
Too many of our marriages are ending in divorce for no other reason than this … selfishness. We live in a world that cultivates the myth that everything should be easy but the fact is that anything worth having takes hard work, dedication, self sacrifice and commitment. Marriage isn’t easy but when you are willing to work at it … it can be the most fulfilling relationship you will ever experience.
May “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
In His Service!
Maggie
